It focuses on how John Watson might react if his friend, Sherlock Holmes, were to walk through the door and back into his life.
Note: The lines written in italics were intended to be cut if the sketch was too long.
Sherlock: John! Just the fellow I wanted to see. I’ve got a lovely fresh case for you. Just the thing for you to get your teeth into. Come on.
John:
Sherlock! Oh my goodness! It’s so good to see you.
Sherlock: And you.
John: Yes. Now where the bloody hell have you been?
Sherlock: What?
John: It’s been ? months Sherlock. Would it have killed you to make one phone call? Just to let me know you were ok?
Sherlock: I-er-I’ve been busy
John: I’ve been sat at home worried sick about you. Have you any idea the trauma you put me through. I mean – I saw you fall.
Sherlock. I heard your body hit the ground. I stood and watched as the ambulance men took you away. But do you care? Oh no.
Sherlock: Well, I’m back now.
John: Yes – aren’t you just. And I suppose you just want to pick up where we left off, is that it? Just sweep the missing months under the rug and pretend they never happened.
Sherlock: Well, if we could.
John: Yes – you’d like that, wouldn’t you?
Sherlock: Yes.
John: Hmm.
Sherlock: Well, if that’s everything. Shall we go?
John: Right…I guess- er…hang on a minute. Sherlock – how did you survive?
Sherlock: No time for that – the game is afoot!
John: No, but seriously Sherlock. You fell from the top of St Bart’s hospital. I saw you do it. That’s over 60 feet! Yet you don’t have a scratch on you. How?
Sherlock: I’ll tell you later.
John: No, Sherlock, tell me now. Because by all natural laws you shouldn’t here. And yet here you are - flesh and blood - stood in front of me like some spectre risen from the grave.
Sherlock: Yes. Yes. I’ll fill you in on all the details later when there aren’t 9 million people watching us.
John: Why not now?
Sherlock: Because it’s not important.
John: I think it is.
Sherlock: Well it isn’t.
John: Come on, Sherlock. Just tell me.
Sherlock: No.
John: But why?
Sherlock: …Because I don’t know! Ok? Look - Steven Moffat’s got himself into the biggest plot hole ever that nobody could possibly find their way out of. Of course, I shouldn’t have survived – everyone knows that – it’s completely impossible. But we had a new series to make so it was imperative that I must have survived somehow and I had hoped that I’d be able to cover up this major error by bluffing my way through our first encounter. But apparently even my cheekbones aren’t enough to distract you.
John: Oh.
Sherlock: So now you know.
John: Yes.
Sherlock: So – shall we go?
John: Sure.
Sherlock: And you.
John: Yes. Now where the bloody hell have you been?
Sherlock: What?
John: It’s been ? months Sherlock. Would it have killed you to make one phone call? Just to let me know you were ok?
Sherlock: I-er-I’ve been busy
John: I’ve been sat at home worried sick about you. Have you any idea the trauma you put me through. I mean – I saw you fall.
Sherlock. I heard your body hit the ground. I stood and watched as the ambulance men took you away. But do you care? Oh no.
Sherlock: Well, I’m back now.
John: Yes – aren’t you just. And I suppose you just want to pick up where we left off, is that it? Just sweep the missing months under the rug and pretend they never happened.
Sherlock: Well, if we could.
John: Yes – you’d like that, wouldn’t you?
Sherlock: Yes.
John: Hmm.
Sherlock: Well, if that’s everything. Shall we go?
John: Right…I guess- er…hang on a minute. Sherlock – how did you survive?
Sherlock: No time for that – the game is afoot!
John: No, but seriously Sherlock. You fell from the top of St Bart’s hospital. I saw you do it. That’s over 60 feet! Yet you don’t have a scratch on you. How?
Sherlock: I’ll tell you later.
John: No, Sherlock, tell me now. Because by all natural laws you shouldn’t here. And yet here you are - flesh and blood - stood in front of me like some spectre risen from the grave.
Sherlock: Yes. Yes. I’ll fill you in on all the details later when there aren’t 9 million people watching us.
John: Why not now?
Sherlock: Because it’s not important.
John: I think it is.
Sherlock: Well it isn’t.
John: Come on, Sherlock. Just tell me.
Sherlock: No.
John: But why?
Sherlock: …Because I don’t know! Ok? Look - Steven Moffat’s got himself into the biggest plot hole ever that nobody could possibly find their way out of. Of course, I shouldn’t have survived – everyone knows that – it’s completely impossible. But we had a new series to make so it was imperative that I must have survived somehow and I had hoped that I’d be able to cover up this major error by bluffing my way through our first encounter. But apparently even my cheekbones aren’t enough to distract you.
John: Oh.
Sherlock: So now you know.
John: Yes.
Sherlock: So – shall we go?
John: Sure.
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