Oh Yes, Oh Yes - !!!NEW!!!

Well, if you've got one, you've got to have the other.

New York, New York Oh Yes, Oh Yes not by Frank Sinatra
Start drinking today
It’s February
I got through the whole part of it
Oh yes, oh yes

Though it caused dismay        
I wanted to flee
Made it right through the whole of it
Oh yes, oh yes 

Wanted to wake up
With a head that didn’t pound
And feel I wouldn’t be sick
Sure of the ground

I didn’t give way
Though it caused no glee
Now I can be so free of it
Oh yes, oh yes

Now I have made it through
I'll have this
Drink on you
So here’s to Feb
Oh yes, oh yes

Oh yes, oh yes
Wanted to wake up
With a head that didn’t pound
And feel I was AOK
Sure I won’t fall
And won’t be sick
So AOK 

I didn’t give way
Though it caused no glee
Now I can be so free of it
Oh yes, oh yes

Now I have made it through
I'll have this
Drink on you
So here’s to Feb
Oh yes, oh yes

Oh yes!

From The Mind of Merc - Love Actually

Sometimes I find my mind wandering over various eclectic topics and occasionally I am inspired to write some of them down. Today I was thinking about Love Actually.

Love Actually is one of the most popular Christmas films ever. And personally, I can’t stand it. I like it when it first came out (who doesn’t want a bit of romance at Christmas) but, the more you think about it, the more problematic all of the relationships reveal themselves to be.
As I heard it described, it “treats infatuation as love… most of the characters want sex and romance …rush into those with the hope of filling in the relationship afterwards”.
Although some problems are more obvious than others, I’ve listed them below to highlight just how wrong (or perhaps Disneyfied) their associated messaging is. 

Billy Mack & Joe
Story: Famous singer treats his devoted manager terribly but then realises he’s in love with him and surprises him with a spontaneous declaration
Message:  You always get who you want regardless of how you treat someone
Better journey: The singer is respectful towards his colleague so any relationship between them has a healthier basis (Unlike the majority of the other relationships in the film, they have known each other for years)

Juliet, Peter & Mark
Story: Man reveals his secret crush on his best friend’s wife which she seems to reciprocate
Message: Be creepy – it works – even if the object of your affections is married
Better journey: Juliet shuts the door on Mark and tells Peter everything
Additional note: Keira Knightley thought this was creepy and had to be repeatedly told by the director not to reflect that in her face

Jamie & Aurelia
Story: Man and woman fall in love despite not speaking each other’s language and, although he leaves, he then goes back to propose to her
Message: Abandon your family for a crush because love transcends the language barrier
Better journey: They teach each other some of their own language (or ask for help to communicate) while they’re together and build a relationship from there rather than going back several months later (& hoping they’re both still available) and basing your whole future prospects on that

Harry, Karen & Mia
Story: Woman discovers her husband has (at best) been flirting with his secretary – she keeps this secret and stays with him
Message: Adultery is acceptable although it might hurt your spouse
Better journey: She leaves him (or better he reveals he didn’t succumb to the secretary’s flirting)
Additional note: Emma Thompson based her emotions in THAT scene on how she felt upon discovering her 1^st husband, Kenneth Branagh, cheated on her. Spoiler Alert: SHE LEFT HIM!

David & Natalie
Story: Man and woman develop mutual feelings but when she is approached by another he blames her. Then we he realises he was wrong, goes and tracks her down (rather than call???)
Message: If you see your girlfriend with someone else, assume she’s cheating and punish her. Oh, and fat shaming is ok
Better journey: He asks her what happened so there’s no big declaration needed or track down required and they can decide whether or not to pursue a relationship (if so, they can’t work together)

Sam & Joanna
Story: Young boy decides to impress his crush and when that fails chases her to the airport
Message: Pursue your crush and eventually they’ll notice you
Better journey: Talk to her – that’s what he ended up doing anyway and it revealed a shared attraction

Daniel & Carol
Story: Widower meets the doppelganger of his celebrity crush
Message: You get rewarded for being a good step-dad with a major hottie
Better journey: The widower could just be a good step-dad (it’s just a year after his wife passed away)
Additional note: Liam Neeson’s wife, Natasha Richardson, sadly passed away in 2009 when they were 57 and 45 respectively and he hasn’t found someone else – it is not mandatory

Sarah & Karl
Story: Woman gets a chance at a rendezvous with her crush – which is prevented by her brother
Message: Relatives with mental health issues are cockblockers
Better journey: They actually try to get to know each other so she can either realise he’s not the man she thinks he is or he can decide to support her family situation

Colin & the girls
Story: Sex-starved man goes to America and hooks up with multiple girls at once
Message: Objectifying is rewarded (and trafficking is acceptable)
Better journey: Learn his excuses for a lack of relationship in the UK are baseless and become a better, more respectful person as a result

John & Judy
Story: Extras on an adult film develop a romantic relationship
Message: Love can found where you might least expect it
Better journey: Hard to better this without being puritanical because this relationship is based on communication rather than sex

Headmistress & Geraldine (Deleted Scene)
Story: A school headmistress is in a relationship with a terminally ill cancer patient
Message: Love comes in many forms and can last for many years and through many tests
Better journey: Include it in the film – it’s one of the least problematic relationships and it was the one that got cut!

Oh No, Oh No - !!!NEW!!!

Realised I missed an opportunity for a blog entry to mark Tom Baker's 92nd Birthday on 20th January so instead I'm doing a slightly (for which read tenuously) Whovian-linked creation based on a comment made during a Q&A panel at the recent Happy Who Year event. So thanks to Colin Baker and Sylvester McCoy for the inspiration.

New York, New York Oh No, Oh No not by Frank Sinatra
Stop drinking today
For January
Don’t want to be a part of it
Oh no, oh no 

Though I often say
It’s not good for me
Don’t want to get rid of it
Oh no, oh no

I want to wake up
With a head that doesn't pound
And feel like I won’t be sick
Sure of the ground

I know it will pay
But oh can’t you see
I don’t want to let go of it
Oh no, oh no

(But) If I can make it through
I'll feel much
Better too
I said I would
Oh no, oh no

Oh no, Oh no
I want to wake up
With a head that doesn’t pound
And feel I'm so AOK
Sure I won’t fall
I won’t be sick
So AOK 

I know it will pay
But oh can’t you see
I don’t want to let go of it
Oh no, oh no

(But) If I can make it through
I'll feel much
Better too
I said I would
Oh no, oh no

Oh no

(Yes it's technically VERY late for a Dry January themed parody but at least it's ready for next year :D)

Twelfth Night - !!!NEW!!!

A new parody for the Twelfth Night about... Twelfth Night (Shakespeare's that is).

This takes a little known but very clever poem written by the late great Ronnie Barker which summarises the entire plot of Shakespeare's Hamlet and which I've switched to be about - you've guessed it - Twelfth Night. (The original can be found at about 25 mins in to this.)

One day while they were travelling
Viola and her darling twin
Hit a large swell
Did not do well
Lost everything that they had 

Viola felt her best shot
Was quickly to throw in her lot
With the grand Duke
(To) avoid rebuke
She told him she was a lad 

The Duke who was called Orsino
Believed this young Cesario
Was just the person he needed
To win the girl he loved 

This was fair Olivia
Who though she lived fairly near
Had sworn off love and romance
And all that other stuv 

Her brother had recently died
And for this reason Livy cried
And said no-one
To her could come
Til seven years was gone

Orsino sent Viola to
Livy in an attempt to woo
Her for his hand
If she would stand
To let his envoy come 

This ploy while seeming so easy
Was not completed so freely
There were two points
That could disjoint
Orsino’s master plan 

For one although Olivia
Allowed Viola to see her
It soon was clear it wasn’t
Orsino who was her man 

For when her eye alighted on
This new and handsome young person
She wanted more
Of what she saw
Which wasn’t meant to occur 

For two Viola had chosen
To serve the Duke for a reason
She couldn’t say
But his mad sway
Had bowled the maiden over 

So they were in a tricky spot
A nice and convoluted plot
With romance abound
But not around
In fact a triangle 

While all this was now happening
Livy’s servants did drink and sing
Sir Andrew, Maria, Fa-
Bi an and Livy’s uncle 

The noise made by this happy band
Upset Malvolio and
He told them plain
They should refrain
From making such a fracas 

The group who liked hullaballoo
Did not take very kindly to
This pompous man
And formed a plan
To make him a jackas 

Maria told them all with glee
Of her skill with calligraphy
That with her pen she could pretend to be
Their fair mistress 

The team quickly agreed this and
Using Maria’s skilful hand
Soon crafted a brief epistle
To cause Malvy some distress 

The steward soon the note espied
He read it and aloud he cried
In joy for he
With certainty
Thought Olivia loved him 

The next time he saw the girl
He put her into quite a whirl
But not with lust
Instead disgust
For what was on his limbs 

The letter that the steward found
Did very clearly expound
The way to go
Was wear yellow
And so that is what he did 

From hose right down to ankle he
Had covered so painstakingly
To win her heart
Yet for her part
She just wanted to get rid 

Malvolio was dragged away
And in a prison made to stay
Where Feste the fool
Being rather cruel
Continued the mock’ry 

Meanwhile Viola’s brother Seb
It turned out was not really dead
And when he now
Appeared in town
This caused yet more mischief 

Sir Andrew upset that his suit
Of Livy had still borne no fruit
Challenged Cesario to fight
Cos Toby said to do it 

Unfortunt’ly for this blockhead
It turned out to be brother Seb
That he soon faced
And in disgrace
Failed to land a single hit 

Olivia now she arrived
And when Sebastian espied
Resolved to trap
This handsome chap
Into true love’s shackle 

She grabbed him and then hurriedly
With her beloved stranger she
Got the lot
And tied the knot
In a nearby chapel 

Just then the appearance of young Vi
Caused everyone to rub their eyes
Could not believe
What they did perceive
How could there be two of them? 

The truth was then revealed to all
Which caused the two siblings to bawl
They weren’t deceased
They were so pleased
For this reunion 

Each of them now became wed
To the right person they wanted
The church bells rang
For the whole clan
Only laughter could be heard 

Despite all of the confusion
They’d reached a happy conclusion
They all felt glad
No-one was sad
Except perhaps the steward

Stranger Things Advent Calendar - 31

Door number 31:

 Happy New Year! All the best for 2026

Stranger Things Advent Calendar - 30

Door number 30:

 

Stranger Things Advent Calendar - 29

Door number 29: 

Stranger Things Advent Calendar - 28

Door number 28:

 

Stranger Things Advent Calendar - 27

Door number 27: 

Stranger Things Advent Calendar - 26

And, keeping with tradition, Door number 26: