I Was Very Much Amused

In my spare time I write parody songs, sketches and captions which I’ve decide to post here on my blog. You’ll be able to tell my eclectic comedy taste from some of the references and I freely admit my influences include Spike Milligan, Ronnie Barker, John Finnemore and Michael Bernstein (my Year 8 English teacher). The blog title is from Queen Victoria being famously misquoted as saying “We are not amused” so I’m using the correct quote, as mentioned in her diaries, of “I was very much amused"

Showing posts with label sherlock holmes. Show all posts

Friday, 11 March 2016

Sherlock's Last Page sketch - Mercorabilia

I am a huge fan of the Science of Deduction and would have loved to be able to meet Dr Joseph Bell (particularly to ask him who he suspected Jack the Ripper was). However, sometimes I do wish that this was how a case was wrapped up.

Watson: Holmes – once more you’ve done it again. It’s simply astounding that you could deduce who the killer was. It’s just staggering how you put the pieces together. I simply don’t see how you do it. How could you possibly have worked it all out?
Holmes: Oh, you wouldn’t want to know.
Watson: I must. It’s driving me made trying to figure it all out.
Holmes: It’s too dull, honestly.
Watson: But it’s simply astonishing. How on earth did you do it?
Holmes: Well, if you must know, I read the last page.
Watson: <pause while this sinks in> You what?
Holmes: I read the last page. You see - this is a work of fiction. And we are characters in a book. So all I needed to do to solve the crime was read the last page – then I’d know who did it and could make up a convoluted story as to how I solved it.
Watson: Really?
Holmes: No – not really.
Watson: Oh. Well, I guess that’s about as believable as deducing the exact culprit through a series of long-winded assumptions.
Holmes: But it’s not a case of assumptions.
Watson: What is it then?
Holmes: Elementary, my dear Watson.

Sunday, 14 September 2014

Poor Unfortunate Souls - !!!NEW!!!

Or as I have amended it - Simple Gullible Fools.
In case you can't tell, it's a mixture of Ursula's song from The Little Mermaid as it might have been if performed by Moriarty from the BBC series Sherlock.
This is another on the spot creation that I put together about an hour ago but I liked it so I thought I'd share it. Enjoy!

~~Poor Unfortunate Souls~~ Simple Gullible Fools not by Ursula the Sea Witch

I admit that in the past I've been quite naughty

They weren't wrong to arrest me and start a trial

But you'll see that even so

To jail's not where I'll go

Despite all of the evidence you give
True? Yes

Cause I fortunately know a little secret
It's something that I have not long possessed
And it comes from way back when

Concealed within my den

I used to help out people in distress (pathetic)

Simple gullible fools

So vain, such greed
This one longing to be richer

That one wants to get away
And do I help them?
Yes, indeed
Those simple gullible souls
So bad, so true
They come flocking to my website

Asking for Moriarty
And I help them!
Yes I do

Now you're in my way you see

And to keep you off of me
I'm afraid I've had to shop them and let them go
Yes it doesn't seem quite right

But then you will soon see the light

Like those simple gullible fools

---

People out there don't think a lot for themselves
They prefer to read the gossip found in print

Yes they won't want you around I'll run you into the ground

Why can't you understand a subtle hint

You think they'll believe any single thing that you say

When I'm finished they'll forget you exist

Sherlock don't you understand

They'll be eating from my hand

There is no way that you can get through this

Come on you simple gullible fool

Go ahead!
End your strife!
I'm a very busy bad guy and I haven't got all day
It won't cost much
Just your life!
You simple gullible fool

I win, you lose
If you want to save their lives, Sherlock

You've got the pay the price
Take a gulp and take a breath
And go ahead and take the dive

Once I've shot myself I've got you good

Cause Sherlock's gonna fall

I am the best after all!

Tuesday, 31 December 2013

Sherlock Advent Calendar - 31

Last door in the calendar and just in time as the real Sherlock takes over tomorrow with episode one of the third series being broadcast at 9pm on BBC1