McDonalds sketch - Mercorabilia

For your (hopefully) entertainment and delight, may I humbly present the second sketch from my Mercorabilia collection - a selection of sketches inspired by a certain Souvenir Programme but written by yours truly.

(Scene: A Fast Food Restaurant)
Customer: Now have you got all that?

Cashier: Yes.

Customer: You’re sure? You don’t want to run through it – just to check?

Cashier: No. No – I think I’ve got it.

Customer: Really?

Cashier: Yes.

Customer: You don’t want to say it back to me? Just to see?

Cashier: No – I should be fine.

Customer: Really?

Cashier: Yes.

Customer: …Oh go on! That’s the whole reason I ordered it!

Cashier: That’s the whole reason you ordered it?

Customer: Yes!

Cashier: You mean you don’t actually want to eat it?

Customer: Of course I don’t actually want to eat it! Who on earth would want to?

Cashier: So the whole point of you ordering it was for me to say it.

Customer: Yes!

Cashier: Right. Next!

Customer: No. No – wait. Look…look – this is a restaurant, right?

Cashier: Yes.

Customer: And I’m the customer, right?

Cashier: Yes.

Customer: And the customer’s always right?

Cashier: Mmm.

Customer: So…?

Cashier: Well – sir – look at it this way. …This is a restaurant, right?

Customer: Yeah.

Cashier: We serve food, right?

Customer: Yeah.

Cashier: People come in here who want food.

Customer: Mmm.

Cashier: Food that they actually want to eat. So…?

Customer: Ok. Ok. Look – if you’ll just say the order for me and I promise I’ll go away.

Cashier: You promise?

Customer: I promise – Scout’s Honour.

Cashier: Ok (clears throat). Sir – you ordered… twoallbeefpatties,specialsauce,lettuce,cheese,pickles,onionsonasesameseedbun!

Customer: Yaay!

(Possibly have voiceoff: Got it – one big mac)

Cashier: Happy now, sir?

Customer: Yes.

Cashier: Good. Next!