Sometimes
I find my mind wandering over various eclectic topics and occasionally I am
inspired to write some of them down. Today’s topic is the social acceptance of gender roles.
Recently
I was reading a brief biography of American director Ed Wood and what struck me
was the way in which his transvestism was viewed as something unacceptable.
True this was in 1950s America but sadly the same opinions still seem to hold
sway today. What I struggled to understand is why transvestism (i.e. men
wanting to dress up as women) should be viewed any different than the perfectly
acceptable idea of tomboys (i.e. women who are more inclined towards
stereotypically ‘male’ interests).
When
I was younger, one of my friends shunned dresses, jewellery and make-up and
decided she preferred to dress up as a boy. To my recollection there was never
any problem with this – her parents took the opinion of ‘that’s what she wants
to do’ which I think was marvellous. I certainly had no problem with it and
just viewed it as who she was.
When
she reached her teenage years, this interest gradually faded and she reverted
to the more familiar female apparel; however, she has suffered no ‘ill-effects’
from her past decision. She is not confused about her sexuality and is in fact
a fully functioning adult in a healthy modern relationship.
To
my way of thinking, decisions like those my friend took won’t confuse children
and don’t make them any less clear on gender identity. If anything, following
such decisions could only serve to give the individual a better grasp of their
sexuality and a clearer idea of gender roles as it would effectively give them
a chance to explore and better understand said roles.
Just
to be clear, I am not advocating alternative lifestyles nor am I an expert in
them but I fail to see why there is such abhorrence towards people practising
or indulging in lifestyles that make them happy about themselves – particularly
in today’s modern times of obsession and insecurity over body image. After all,
just as not everyone would choose to be a trainspotter or twitcher not everyone
would choose the same career – i.e. there are people who desire to be doctors
but would hate to be teachers and vice versa. We would not seek to dictate
their profession or pastimes any more than we would want them to dictate ours.
If there is a way of living that makes you happy and it’s not hurting anyone
else you should be allowed to pursue it.
Forcing
an individual (or particularly a child) to follow specific life choices surely
causes more harm than good as in enforcing stereotypical views or ‘socially
accepted’ gender roles this serves only to repress the individual – doing
untold damage both psychologically and interpersonally between the oppressor
and the oppressed. Freedom of choice in our society should mean just that.
Another
instance that occurs to me took place on a previous trip to a castle in England
where children were given the opportunity to dress up as princesses and knights
in either tabards or dresses. The ‘jester’ on duty was faced with a young boy
(of I would guess about 8 years of age) who declined the
opportunity to dress up in one of the tabards and instead requested one of the
dresses. The jester was visibly surprised by this but (fair play to him) didn’t
attempt to dissuade the boy from his choice and the boy went happily onward
with a bright pink dress adorning his Spiderman t-shirt and combat shorts. His
parents followed on seemingly observing his actions as a nothing more than a
strange choice and certainly not something to be concerned about thus averting any
outcry, problems or disturbances and that – to my mind – is what the standard
reaction to such choices should be.
Socially
accepted gender roles should not mean everything else is socially unacceptable.
This is discriminatory and wrong and denigrating to the individual. True there
is (has and always will be) the perceived norm but all that deviates from that
should not be the perceived abnormality. They are different but they cannot be
fairly labelled as wrong or improper; particularly when there are so many
cultural variations throughout the world and it is therefore quite possible
that an ‘unusual’ choice in one place may be commonplace in another. This ultimately
begs the question of why one is ‘right’ and one is ‘wrong’ and also (and
perhaps more controversially) how it is possible to decide which is which.
After
all, as is endlessly quoted from the bible – we should
‘judge not, lest ye be judged’ – how much easier and infinitely more pleasant
would life be if all could live by that simple tenet?
