Big Bang Theory Advent Calendar - 31

Door number 31:

Ever Afterlife sketch - Mercorabilia

I like the idea of people being reunited with their lost loves after they die. But what occurred to me the other day is: what happens if one of the parties remarries after the first one’s death - how do they decide who they spend the rest of eternity with? Maybe they have to have an agency to sort it all out…

Ever afterlife sketch

*DING*

Angel: Next please. Hello – my name is the angel Hymen. Welcome to Ever Afterlife – the agency devoted to resolving the disputes of those who remarried in life and have now been reunited with both spouses in death. How can I help you?

Wife 2: Yes – thank you. I…

Wife 1: Do you mind? He was speaking to me. Hello – I hope you can help me. I’m here to discuss my husband.

Wife 2: You mean my husband. I’m the one who’s married to him.

Wife 1: So was I – you’re just his second choice.

Wife 2: Second but best.

Wife 1: He loved me first.

Wife 2: He loved me more.

Angel: Ladies, ladies please. Now is this the gentleman in question? Hello, sir. How are you?

Husband: I…

Wife 1: He’s fine. What are you going to do about us?

Angel: Hmm. So he married you first.

Wife 1: Yes.

Angel: And then he married you second.

Wife 2: Yes. I brought him out of his misery and made him realise life was still worth living.

Wife 1: The misery he experienced when he lost me – the one he loved the most.

Wife 2: He loves me the most. Don’t you, darling?

Husband: I…

Wife 1: Don’t be ridiculous! He loves me the most – he married me first.

Wife 2: Exactly – you had your turn. Now he’s mine. It’s supposed to be ‘til death do you part.

Wife 1: I don’t know if you noticed but we’re both dead.

Wife 2: You died first.

Wife 1: But I married him first so I should get him back.

Husband: But…

Wife 2: Be quiet.

Wife 1: Don’t you talk to him like that!

Wife 2: Don’t you tell me how I can or can’t talk to my husband!

Wife 1: You mean my husband.

Husband: Can I just…?

Wife 1: (simultaneously) No!

Wife 2: (simultaneously) No!

Angel: Ladies. Please – remember this is paradise. Try to behave accordingly.

Wife 1: What about you? Aren’t you supposed to be sorting this out?

Angel: Well - as I see it - you both married this man at some point in your lives.

Wife 1: (simultaneously) Yes.

Wife 2: (simultaneously) Yes.

Angel: And you believe you both have an equal claim to being his one true love.

Wife 2: Well I do – I don’t know about her.

Wife 1: Why you…!

Angel: Now, now. Please. So you now need to decide which of you spends the rest of eternity with him.

Wife 1: (simultaneously) Yes.

Wife 2: (simultaneously) Yes.

Angel: I see. What about you, sir? Which one of these…er…women would you like to spend eternity with?

Wife 2: Well me – obviously.

Wife 1: No - me.

Angel: Ladies! Sir?

Husband: Er…well actually…neither of them.