Line of Duty Advent Calendar - 31

And here it is - the end of the year.
May 2022 bring you health, happiness and better times than you've had this year.

Here's door no. 31

Line of Duty Advent Calendar - 30

 Door no. 30

Line of Duty Advent Calendar - 29

 Door no. 29

Line of Duty Advent Calendar - 28

 Door no. 28

Line of Duty Advent Calendar - 27

 Door no. 27

Line of Duty Advent Calendar - 26

 As always, we continue through to the end of the year so here's door no. 26

Line of Duty Advent Calendar - 25

 Happy Christmas!

Here's door no. 25

Line of Duty Advent Calendar - 24

 Door no. 24

Line of Duty Advent Calendar - 23

 Door no. 23

Line of Duty Advent Calendar - 22

 Door no. 22

Line of Duty Advent Calendar - 21

 Door no. 21

Line of Duty Advent Calendar - 20

 Door no. 20

Line of Duty Advent Calendar - 19

 Door no. 19

Line of Duty Advent Calendar - 18

 Door no. 18

Line of Duty Advent Calendar - 17

 Door no. 17

Line of Duty Advent Calendar - 16

 Door no. 16

Line of Duty Advent Calendar - 15

 Door no. 15

Line of Duty Advent Calendar - 14

 Door no. 14

Line of Duty Advent Calendar - 13

 Door no. 13

Line of Duty Advent Calendar - 12

 Door no. 12

Line of Duty Advent Calendar - 11

 Door no. 11

Line of Duty Advent Calendar - 10

 Door no. 10

Line of Duty Advent Calendar - 9

 Door no. 9

Line of Duty Advent Calendar - 8

 Door no. 8

Line of Duty Advent Calendar - 7

 Door no. 7

Line of Duty Advent Calendar - 6

 Door no. 6

Line of Duty Advent Calendar - 5

 Door no. 5

Line of Duty Advent Calendar - 4

 Door no. 4

Line of Duty Advent Calendar - 3

 Door no. 3

Line of Duty Advent Calendar - 2

 Door no. 2

Line of Duty Advent Calendar - 1

Welcome to this year's caption Advent Calendar.

Let's get started right away with Door No. 1:

From The Mind of Merc - Priorities

 Sometimes I find my mind wandering over various eclectic topics and occasionally I am inspired to write some of them down. Today given the recent emergence of yet another variant of coronavirus which once again threatens our Christmases, I was thinking about the UK government's prioritising of their bank balances over everyone else's has undeniably contributed the longevity of the pandemic.

When our leaders are more focused on the money they can make from the situation than actually dealing with the situation itself in any sort of effective way in order to protect the lives of the people it is meant to represent - as demonstrated not only by the numerous highly questionable 'donor deals' that have taken place since the outbreak but also by the disinclination of our illustrious leader to bother to turn up to COBRA meetings for the first few months of the crisis - it should come as no surprise that our ability to overcome or at least subdue the rampant nature of the virus is considerably and interminably delayed.

To demonstrate this in cartoon form, here's one I made earlier. (And I effectively only had to change 1 letter.)

Alternate Six Lyrics - Catherine Parr

And the final song of Six:

I Don't Need Your Love not (entirely) from Six

[Catherine Parr:]
You know I love you, boy
In every single way
Though I love you, boy
I'll miss you every day
Oh I love you, boy
I wish that I could stay with you
And keep the life I made with you
And even though this feels so right
I'm holding back the tears tonight

It's true I'll never be over you
'Cause I have built a future in my mind with you
And now the hope is gone
There's nothing left for me to do

You know it isn't true
But I must say to you
That I can’t have your love, no, no
I can’t have your love, no, no
It cannot be the way that it was, no, no
‘Cause I can’t have your love, no, no

I've got no choice
With the King I stay alive
Never had a choice
Been a wife twice before, just to survive
I don't have a choice
If Henry says "It's you", then it's you
No matter how I feel
It's what I have to do
But if, somehow, I had that choice
No holding back, I'd raise my voice

I'd say "Henry, yeah it's true
I'll never belong to you
'Cause I am not your toy, to enjoy till there's something new
As if I'm gonna give up my boy, my work, my dreams
To care for you"

"Ha, darling, get a clue
There's nothing you can do
I don't want your love, no, no
No, I don't want you love, no, no
There's nothing left to discuss, no, no
But I don't want your love, no, no"

But I can't say that
Not to the king
So this is goodbye
All my love
Catherine

So I sent that letter to my love
Got married to the king
Became the one who survived
I've told you about my life
The final wife
But why should that story
Be the one I have to sing about
Just to win? I'm out
That's not my story
There's so much more

Remember that I was a writer
I wrote books and psalms and meditations
Fought for female education
So all my women could independently
Study scripture
I even got a woman to paint my picture
Why can't I tell that story?
'Cause in history
I'm fixed as one of six
And without him
I disappear
We all disappear

[Ensemble:]
So we had no choice
But now it's us alone
So we've got no choice
No, we've got no choice
We're taking back the microphone
I'm gonna raise my voice
They always said:
"We need your love"
But it's time for us to rise above

It's not what went down in history
But tonight I'm singing this for me

Henry, yeah, I'm through
Too many times it's been told
And I have had enough
Love stories to get old
And you might think it's tough
But I've got to let your love run cold
We're taking back control (we're taking back control)
You need to know

I don't want your love, no, no
No, I don't want your love, no, no
Can't let it get the better of us, no, no
I don't need your love, no, no
I don't want your love, no, no
No, I don't want your love, no, no
I don't want your love, no, no
I don't want your love

We don't want your love

Alternate Six Lyrics - Catherine Howard

Time for the fifth Six song (trying saying that 10 times fast):

All You Wanna Do not (entirely) from Six

[Ensemble:]
All you wanna do
All you wanna do, baby

[Katherine Howard:]
I think we can all agree
I'm the ten amongst these threes

[Ensemble:]
All you wanna do
All you wanna do, baby

[Katherine Howard:]
And ever since I was a child
I'd make the boys go wild

[Ensemble:]
All you wanna do
All you wanna do, baby

[Katherine Howard:]
Take my first music teacher
Henry Manox
I was young, so true
But very soon I knew

The only thing you wanna do is...

Broad, dark, sexy Manox
Taught me all about dynamics
He was twenty three
And I was thirteen
Not even flirty

We spent hours strumming the lute
Striking the chords and blowing the flute
Tried to pluck my strings all the way to G
Go from major to minor
C to D

Tell me what you need
What you want
It won’t help to plead
Just don’t feel
The chemistry
I don’t want you
You won’t get me but

Maybe this is it
He just cares so much
It feels legit
Is there a connection
Could it be this guy’s different

'Cause
All you wanna do
All you wanna do, baby's
Touch me, love me
Can't get enough, see

All you wanna do
All you wanna do, baby's
Please me, squeeze me
Birds and the bees me

Run your fingers through my hair
Tell me I'm the fairest of the fair

Playtime's over
The only thing you wanna do is

But then there was another guy, Francis Dereham

Serious, stern and slow
Gets what he wants and he won't take no
Passion in all that he touches
The sexy secretary to the dowager duchess

Helped him in his office had a duty to fulfill
He even let me use his favourite quill
Spilled ink all over the parchment
My wrist was so tired
Still I came back the next day
As he required

You see, I'm all you need
All you want, you don't need to plead
'Cause I feel the chemistry
Like I get you and you get me and

I know, this is it
He just cares so much
This one's legit
We have a real connection
I'm sure this time is different

'Cause
All you wanna do
All you wanna do, baby's
Touch me, love me
Can't get enough, see

All you wanna do
All you wanna do, baby's
Please me, squeeze me
Birds and the bees me

You can't wait a second more
To get my kirtle on the floor

Playtime's over
The only thing you wanna do is...

Yeah, that didn't work out
Because I got summoned to the royal court
And you'll never guess who I met

Tall, large, Henry the Eighth
Supreme head of the Church of England

Globally revered
Although you wouldn't know it from the look of that beard

Made me a lady in waiting, hurled
Me and my family up in the world
Gave me duties in court and he swears it's true
That without me he doesn't know what he'd do

You see, I'm all you need
All you want, we both agree
This is the place for me
I'm finally where I'm meant to be

Then he starts saying all this stuff
He cares so much, he calls me 'love'
He says we have this connection
I guess it's not so different

'Cause
All you wanna do
All you wanna do, baby's
Touch me, love me
Can't get enough, see

All you wanna do
All you wanna do, baby's
Seize me, squeeze me
Birds and the bees me

There's no time for when or how
'Cause you've just got to have me now

Playtime's over
The only thing you wanna do is...

So we got married. Woo

With Henry, it isn't easy
His temper's short and his mates are sleazy
Except for this one courtier
He's a really nice guy just
So sincere

The royal life isn't what I planned
But Thomas is there to lend a helping hand
So sweet, makes sure that I'm okay
And we hang out loads when the King's away

This guy, finally
Is what I want, the friend I need
Just mates, nothing more see
I get him and he gets me

And there's nothing more to it
He just cares so much, he's devoted
He says we have a connection

I thought this time was different
Why did I think he'd be different
But it's never, ever different

'Cause
All you wanna do
All you wanna do, baby's
Touch me, when will
Enough be enough, see?

All you wanna do
All you wanna do, baby's
Squeeze me, don't care
If you don't please me

Bite my lip and pull my hair
As you tell me I'm the fairest of the fair

[Ensemble:]
Playtime's over
Playtime's over

[Katherine Howard & Ensemble:]
Playtime's over

[Ensemble:]
The only thing
The only thing

[Katherine Howard:]
The only thing you wanna do is...

From The Mind of Merc - (Political) Life Imitating Art

(Bit late with my monthly post this time so it's just a short one).

Sometimes I find my mind wandering over various eclectic topics and occasionally I am inspired to write some of them down. Today I was thinking about the similarity or appropriateness of quotes from and to completely different situations.

Case in point - who said this?

"If nothing else works, a total pig-headed unwillingness
to look facts in the face will see us through."

Alternate Six Lyrics - Anne of Cleves

And the fourth:

Get Down not (entirely) from Six

[Anne Of Cleves:]
Sittin' here all alone
On a throne
In a palace that it seems now I own
Life sure is pleasant
Now I’m overthrown

Came to England to wed a king
But then it seems when we met he was distressed
I wasn’t his thing
Just wouldn’t swing, show stopper
I came a crop(per)              

Don’t wanna go back there, can I stay here?
No need to fear, I will be your sister dear
Funded by the king’s riches
Was the smart one, unlike these bitches
(What?)
Everyday
Gonna do everything my way, yeah
'Cause I am single
And rich so no need to mingle

You, you said that I tricked ya
'Cause I, I didn't look like my profile picture
Don’t, don’t care if I agree
But I'm gonna stick around for everyone to see
Now you’ve set me free so

I'm the queen of this castle
Got out without a hassle
Get out
Get out
Got out without a hassle
Get out
Get out
Now I'm the queen of this castle

When I am called
I go to court
Pull up outside in my carriage
Don't need no marriage
Cause I had a little flirt with the headsman
Das is nicht mir fur
As you were

Taking my place behind the queen and
Some girls don’t want me seen
I ignore them
'Cause it’s what the king expects
Show respect
Das ist recht

All eyes on me
No criticism
I keep to my own Lutheranism

Yield so quick I didn’t cause a sensation
Although I didn’t help the reformation

You, you said that I tricked ya
'Cause I, I didn't look like my profile picture
Don’t, don’t care if I agree
But I'm gonna stick around for everyone to see
Now you’ve set me free so

I'm the queen of this castle
Got out without a hassle
Get out
Got out (without a hassle)
Get out
Get out
Now I'm the queen of this castle

No-one ever says I'm a gold digger
But check my bank book, diff’rent picture?
Got away
Accepted relegation to the reject bin
Not Henry’s prey
Knew it was best for me to take it on the chin
And that is why
I'm a royal house guest, and not his next victim
No one tells me I need a husband
With all this cash what girl would need a rich man

You, you said that I tricked ya
'Cause I, I didn't look like my profile picture
Don’t, don’t care if I agree
But I'm gonna stick around for everyone to see
Now you’ve set me, you’ve set me free so

I'm the queen of this castle
Got out without a hassle
Get out (yeah, go on, ha!)
Get out (get out scot free)
Got out without a hassle
Get out (it's Anna of Cleves)
(Aha-ha-ha, get)
Get out (now!)
Now I'm the queen of this castle

Alternate Six Lyrics - Jane Seymour

Time for the third slightly altered Six song:

Unbreakable not (entirely) from Six

[Jane Seymour:]
You've got a good heart
But I know it changes
A restless tide, untameable
You came my way
And I knew a storm could come too
You'd lift me high, or let me fall

But I took your hand
Promised I'd withstand
Any blaze you blew my way
'Cause something inside
Was petrified
And I knew I'd always stay

You can build me up
You can tear me down
That is your will - unshakable
You can do your best
But I'll stand the test
I must be - unbreakable
Your rage will burn
But I won’t moan
Will not fight the tide
Against the stone
Your heart of stone

You say we're perfect
A perfect family
You hold us close for the world to see
And when I say you're the only one I'll ever love
I mean those words truthfully

But I know, without my son
Your love could disappear
And though it isn't fair
Won’t turn a hair
And so I will still be here

You can build me up
You can tear me down
That is your will - unshakable
You can do your best
But I'll stand the test
I must be - unbreakable
Your rage will burn
But I won’t moan
Will not fight the tide
Against the stone
Your heart of stone

Soon I'll have to go
I'll never see him grow
But I hope my son will know
He'll never be alone
'Cause like a river runs dry
And leaves its scars behind
I'll be by his side
'Cause my love is set in stone

Yeah

[All:]
You can build me up
You can tear me down
That is your will - unshakable
You can do your best
But I'll stand the test
I must be - unbreakable
Your rage will burn
But I won’t moan
Will not fight the tide

[Jane Seymour:]
I’ll fight the stone
Your heart of stone

[All:]
You can build me up
You can tear me down
That is your will - unshakable
You can do your best
But I'll stand the test
I must be - unbreakable
Your rage will burn
But I won’t moan
Will not fight the tide

[Jane Seymour:]
I’ll fight the stone
Your heart of stone

From The Mind of Merc - Home Truths

 Sometimes I find my mind wandering over various eclectic topics and occasionally I am inspired to write some of them down. Today I was thinking about the current state of affairs thanks to the corruption, incompetency and lack of compassion of the current UK government. Which I feel is adquately summed up in this collection of memes.

Alternate Six Lyrics - Anne Boleyn

And here's the second:

Don't Lose Your Head not (entirely) from Six

[Anne Boleyn:]
Grew up in the French court
Oui oui bonjour
Life was a bore
So

[Ensemble:]
She set sail

[Anne Boleyn:]
1522 I came to the UK
Had a Duke in my sway

[Ensemble:]
Epic fail!
Ooh

[Anne Boleyn:]
I wanna do my thing

[Ensemble:]
Modesty

[Anne Boleyn:]
Not my thing

[Ensemble:]
Ooh

[Anne Boleyn:]
But then I met the king
And soon my uncle said
"You should try and get ahead!"
He wanted me, obviously
Messaging me like every day
Couldn't be better then he sent me a letter
And who was he kidding
I don’t do things that way

[Ensemble:]
Ooh

[Anne Boleyn:]
Sent a reply

[Ensemble:]
Ooh

[Anne Boleyn:]
Just saying 'Hi'

[Ensemble:]
Ooh

[Anne Boleyn:]
'You're a nice guy
I'll think about it maybe
XO baby'

[Ensemble:]
Uh oh

[Anne Boleyn:]
Here we go

[Ensemble:]
You sent him kisses

[Anne Boleyn:]
I didn't know I would move in with his missus

[Ensemble:]
What?!

[Anne Boleyn:]
Get a life!

[Ensemble:]
You're living with his wife

[Anne Boleyn:]
Like, what was I meant to do?
Sorry, not sorry 'bout what I said
It seems like my time has come
Don't worry, don't worry
Don't lose your head
Can’t help it if I’m the one
LOL Say 'Oh, well!'
Just go to hell!
I'm sorry, not sorry 'bout what I said
Don't lose your head

Three in the bed
And the little one said
"If you wanna be wed
Make up your mind!"
Her or me, chum
Don't wanna be some
Girl in a threesome
Are you blind?

[Ensemble:]
Ooh

[Anne Boleyn:]
Don't be bitter

[Ensemble:]
Ooh

[Anne Boleyn:]
'Cause I'm fitter

[Ensemble:]
Ooh

[Anne Boleyn:]
Why hasn't it hit her?
He doesn't wanna bang you
Somebody hang you

[Ensemble:]
Uh oh

[Anne Boleyn:]
Here we go

[Ensemble:]
Your comment went viral

[Anne Boleyn:]
I didn't really mean it
But rumours spiral

[Ensemble:]
Wow Anne, way to make the country hate you!

[Anne Boleyn:]
Mate, what was I meant to do?
Sorry, not sorry about what I said
It seems like my time has come
Don't worry, don't worry
Don't lose your head
Can’t help it if I’m the one
LOL Say 'Oh, well!'
Just go to hell!
I'm sorry, not sorry 'bout what I said
Don't lose your head

Tried to elope
But the Pope said 'Nope!'
My only hope was Henry
He got a promotion
Caused a commotion
Set in motion the C of E

[Ensemble:]
The rules

[Anne Boleyn:]
Were so outdated
Us two wanted to get X-rated

[Ensemble:]
Soon
Excommunicated

[Anne Boleyn:]
Everybody chill
It's totes God's will

Henry's out every night on the town
Just sleeping around like "What the hell?"
If that's how it's gonna be
Maybe I'll flirt with a guy or three
Just to make him jel
Henry finds out and he goes mental
He screams and shouts like
So judgemental!
You damned witch
Mate, just shut up!
I wouldn't be such a b...
If you could get it up

[Ensemble:]
Uh oh

[Anne Boleyn:]
Here we go

[Ensemble:]
Is that what you said?

[Anne Boleyn:]
And now he's going 'round like
"Off with her head!"

[Ensemble:]
No!

[Anne Boleyn:]
Yeah, I'm pretty sure he means it

[Ensemble:]
Seems it

[Anne Boleyn:]
What was I meant to do?

[Ensemble:]
What was she meant to do?

[Anne Boleyn:]
Like, what was I meant to do?

[Ensemble:]
What was she meant to do?

[Anne Boleyn:]
No, but what was I meant to do?
Sorry, not sorry about what I said
It seems like my time has come
Don't worry, don't worry
Don't lose your head
Pretty sure I was the one
Don't worry, don't worry
Don't lose my head
Seems like my time is done
LOL (I’ll) Say 'Oh, well!'
Or go to hell!

[Ensemble:]
Just go to hell!

[Anne Boleyn:]
Sorry, not sorry about what I said

[Ensemble:]
Sorry, not sorry about what she said

[Anne Boleyn:]
Sorry, not sorry about what I said
Don't lose my head

Alternate Six Lyrics - Catherine of Aragon

I finally got round to seeing Six last month and, boy - is it fantastic! I was also deeply impressed with how historically accurate it is (I admittedly put off seeing it as I was sure it'd be like the TV series The Tudors or worse Reign). Having said that, there were a few tiny tweaks in the lyrics that I'd make just to tighten that accuracy up even further. So here's the first of them (with the altered lyrics highlighted in bold):

No Way not (entirely) from Six

[Catherine Of Aragon:]
(No no no no no no no way)
There's no way
You must agree that baby
In all the time I've been by your side
I've never lost control
No matter how many times you hurt my pride
Have my golden rule
Got to keep my cool           
Yeah, baby

[Ensemble:]
You know she's got to keep her cool

[Catherine Of Aragon:]
And even though you've had your fun
Running around with some pretty young thing
And even though you've had one son
With someone who don't own a wedding ring
No matter what I heard
I didn't say a word, no, baby

[Ensemble:]
You know she never said a word

[Catherine Of Aragon:]
I put up with your sh...
Like every single day
But now it's time to shh
And listen when I say

You must think that I'm crazy
You wanna replace me baby
There's no no no no no no no way
If you think for a moment
I'd grant you annulment, just hold up
There's no no no no no no no way

No way
No way
There's no no no no no no no way

No way
No way
There's no no no no no no no way

There's no way

So you read a bible verse that I'm cursed
'Cause I was your brothers wife
You say it's a pity 'cause quoting leviticus
I'll end up kiddy-less all my life
Well daddy have a care
‘Cause you’ve forgotten Mary. aw hi baby

[Ensemble:]
Daughters are so easy to forget

[Catherine Of Aragon:]
You're just so full of sh...
It’s not hard to perceive
I won't back down won't shh
And no I'll never leave

You must think that I'm crazy
You wanna replace me baby
There's no no no no no no no way
If you thought it'd be funny to
Send me to a nunnery, honey there's no way

No way
No way
There's no no no no no no no way

No way
No way
There's no no no no no no no way

There's no way
Hey

(Woo)
(Let's go)
(Woo)
(Here we go)

You've got me down on my knees
Please tell me what you think I've done wrong
Been humble, been loyal, I've tried
To swallow my pride all along
If you just say you’re sure
That you think when we wed I wasn’t pure, I'll go

No?

You've got nothing to say
I'm not going away
There's no way

You must think that I'm crazy
You wanna replace me baby
There's no no no no no no no way

You made me your wife
So I'll be queen to the end of my life
No no no no no no no way

No way
No way

No no no no nope no nope no nope no no

No way
No way

There's no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no way

There's no way

From The Mind of Merc - The Tudor Curse

 Then a Mind of Merc post in which today I was thinking about the mortality of the Tudor heirs and, more specifically, whether it could be said that a curse haunted the Tudor monarchs as this issue wasn’t just exclusive to Henry VIII and his desperate quest to produce a male heir to succeed him as it struck both before and after his reign.

 An example of potential victims of this curse are:

- Arthur Tudor (eldest son of Henry VII) – born 1486, died 1501 (aged 15)
- Edmund Tudor (youngest son of Henry VII) – born 1499, died 1500 (aged 1)
- Henry Tudor (eldest son of Henry VIII) – born 1511, died 1511 (aged 2 months)
- Henry Fitzroy (illegitimate son of Henry VIII) – born 1519, died 1536 (aged 17)
- Edward VI (son of Henry VIII & Jane Seymour) – born 1537, died 1553 (aged 15)

While the majority of these are generally believed to be due to tuberculosis, or even plague, I wonder if they could possibly be linked to (or even caused by) the similar(?) malady of sweating sickness.

This unpleasant little disease is in itself interesting as it only appears in history during the Tudor era but this was more than enough time to have done plenty of damage including reportedly killing off Henry VII’s eldest son and heir, Arthur. It is said to have come across to England with Henry VII when he came to combat Richard III at Bosworth and the subsequent theory is therefore slightly ironic in that seeking to overthrow the previous monarch, Henry VII sealed the fate of his own son (thus also changing to course of English history yet again by making his younger son, Henry, his sole heir and, in time, leading to the Break With Rome).

To further this theory (and admittedly this part takes a bit of a leap) the last recorded occurrence of the disease is reputed to have been in 1551 – later than either of the Henrys but still in time to kill off the only two male heirs of Henry VIII’s best friend and companion, Charles Brandon – perhaps the virus thought him guilty by association. 

What makes it even more interesting is the virus was even said to have a penchant for Englishmen as during the 1517 outbreak foreign visitors were reported to be less likely to succumb and during the 1528 it didn’t breach the Calais border into territorial France or even the northern border into Scotland.

As well as this, although by no means confined to royalty as it also did for other connected persons such as William Carey (husband of Mary Boleyn) and the wife and children of Thomas Cromwell it was said to target or perhaps favour the rich and powerful – surely an odd characteristic for a disease.

Could it be then that Henry VII brought this malady on his people himself? Both physically by bringing it across with his army and spiritually by inviting it through some unspeakable act that earned him this vengeful response with its first notable victim being Henry VII’s eldest son and heir and the last being the two sons of his successor’s best friend (as well as the sole heir of his loyal adviser)?

We may never know but it is still an intriguing theory.

I Just Can't Wait To Be Queen - !!!NEW!!!

Oops - running a bit behind with the blog posts - time to catch up. First with a new Tudor themed parody song. 

I Just Can't Wait To Be King Queen not from The Lion King

I was the child of a great king,
So that means I’m his heir!

That is unless he has a boy
Which means you won’t win there

But until then I am his pearl
The apple of his eye
The most precious thing in his life
It’s easy to see why

Might want to keep an eye on Anne Boleyn

Oh, just you wait I will be queen!

 

No way would dad do this

Well, now, you say that

Why is it that whore’s here?

But the thing is

He can’t end his marriage

What you don't realize

You would think that is clear

But she’s here!

Ev’ry one should do (as) I say

That might be what you think

One day I will have my way!

 

But times have changed and now you are
Downgraded to lady

The thought that my dad
Would turn his back is too crazy 

You underestimated that Anne Boleyn
Now she’s won
She is queen, she’s your dad’s new wife
It seems your day is done
You are lucky to still be on the scene             

Oh, just you wait I will be queen!

Watched my daddy move on
Because that Anne was not right
And now that Jane is queen
It will all be alright

(It’s) a boy!

She’s had the son on which your dad was keen (but)
            That doesn’t mean you’ll be poor like you’ve been
            There’s still a chance a royal place you’ll glean

Oh, just you wait I will be queen!
Oh, just you wait I will be queen!
Oh, just you wait I
Just wait I
Will be queen!

Who's Laughing Now - !!!NEW!!!

Continuing the Tudor theme with today's parody.

Who's Laughing Now not by Jessie J
Henry - he called me names
Didn’t want me to stay
Took one look and to his min’ster he did say

"Hey Cromwell, how’d we get into this state
That woman she don't look like her portrait"

Though had a wedding
And he gave me a ring
Nothing that I ever did seemed to please the king

"Hey Cromwell, this ain’t funny
She’s not worth her dowry money"

Oh, so I will not be queen now 
But that I will allow
Because it means I’ll
Be independent and how
So though I’ll lose my man
I’ll find a brand new plan
And I'm surviving, I'm surviving

He likes me not
Not a jot
Thanks a lot
Says I’m not hot
But who's laughing now?
Who's laughing now?
So we’ll be friends          
Make amends
Life extends

Til the end
So who's laughing now?
Who's laughing now?

Maybe not pretty
But I’m not a thickie
I’ll go along with what he now says he’s got planned for me

"Oh Anna, I don’t think we’ll make it
I want a divorce don’t care how you take it"

Because I then said ok
He now says I can stay
Gives me lands
Where I will see out all my days

"Oh Anna, though you’ll lose your mister
From now on you will be known as my sister"

Oh, so I’m no longer queen now              
But that I will allow
Because it means I
Am independent and how
So though I’ve lost my man
I found a brand new plan
And I'm surviving, I'm surviving

He likes me not
Not a jot
Thanks a lot
Says I’m not hot
But who's laughing now?
But who's laughing now?
So we’ll be friends          
Make amends
Til the end
Life extends
So who's laughing now?
So who's laughing now?

Anna
She escaped with her life
Now she’s wealthy
She won’t be no wife
She’s got loads of gold
And won’t be controlled
Uh-uh
Now that she is her own mistress
Never be in distress
Though Cromwell did take his final bow
Anna’s like: "Who's laughing now?"

Oh, so I’m no longer queen now              
But that I will allow
Because it means I
Am independent and how
So though I’ve lost my man
I found a brand new plan
And I'm surviving, I'm surviving

He likes me not
Not a jot
Thanks a lot
Says I’m not hot
But who's laughing now?
But who's laughing now?
So we’ll be friends          
Make amends
Til the end
Life extends
So who's laughing now?
So who's laughing now?

He likes me not
Not a jot
Thanks a lot
Says I’m not hot
But who's laughing now?
But who's laughing now?
So we’ll be friends          
Make amends
Til the end
Life extends
So who's laughing now?

Who's laughing, laughing now?

Who's laughing, laughing now?
Who's laughing, laughing now?
Who's laughing, laughing now?

Who's laughing, laughing now?
Who's laughing, laughing now?

Who's laughing, laughing now?

From The Mind of Merc - Shakespeare's Failings

Sometimes I find my mind wandering over various eclectic topics and occasionally I am inspired to write some of them down. Today I was thinking about Shakespeare. 

I am a huge fan of Shakespeare and his works - his play on words is a joy and when you get a decent production of one of his shows it is an evening very well spent. He's also renowned or reputed for having famously created several words and phrases that we still use today. 

I was therefore rather surprised to find that he did not come up with the stories for his plays. While this might obvious for his histories, even his classic romantic tragedy, Romeo & Juliet, was basically a rip-off of an earlier work. In fact, every single one of his plays is based on another earlier work. I have compiled a basic list of these (barring subplots for the majority) to demonstrate where the credit for his plots, at least, should perhaps be directed. 

Title	Source
All's Well That Ends Well	Based on the tale of Giletta di Narbona from Boccaccio's The Decameron.
Antony and Cleopatra	Based on Thomas North's 1579 English translation of Plutarch's Lives.
As You Like It	Based on Thomas Lodge's Rosalynde, Euphues Golden Legacie, written 1586–87 and first published in 1590. This, in turn, is based upon "The Tale of Gamelyn".
The Comedy of Errors	Based on Menaechmi by Plautus.
Coriolanus	Based on the "Life of Coriolanus" in Thomas North's translation of Plutarch's The Lives of the Noble Grecians and Romans (1579).
Cymbeline	Based on the story of the historical British king Cunobeline in the 1587 edition of Raphael Holinshed's Chronicles and The Rare Triumphs of Love and Fortune.
Edward III	Based on Raphael Holinshed's Chronicles and Jean Froissart's Chronicles.
Hamlet	Based on the legend of Amleth retold by the 16th-century scholar François de Belleforest. May also have drawn on a (now lost) play known as the Ur-Hamlet.
Henry IV, Part 1	Based on the second edition (1587) of Raphael Holinshed's Chronicles & Edward Hall's The Union of the Two Illustrious Families of Lancaster and York.
Henry IV, Part 2	Based on the second edition (1587) of Raphael Holinshed's Chronicles & Edward Hall's The Union of the Two Illustrious Families of Lancaster and York.
Henry V	Based on the second edition (1587) of Raphael Holinshed's Chronicles & Edward Hall's The Union of the Two Illustrious Families of Lancaster and York. An earlier play, the Famous Victories of Henry V is also believed to have been a model.
Henry VI, Part 1	Based on Edward Hall's The Union of the Two Noble and Illustre Families of Lancaster and York (1548) and the second edition (1587) of Raphael Holinshed's Chronicles of England, Scotland and Ireland.
Henry VI, Part 2	Based on Edward Hall's The Union of the Two Noble and Illustre Families of Lancaster and York (1548) and the second edition (1587) of Raphael Holinshed's Chronicles of England, Scotland and Ireland.
Henry VI, Part 3	Based on Edward Hall's The Union of the Two Noble and Illustre Families of Lancaster and York (1548) and the second edition (1587) of Raphael Holinshed's Chronicles of England, Scotland and Ireland. There are sufficient differences between Hall and Holinshed to establish that Shakespeare consulted both.
Henry VIII	Based on Raphael Holinshed's Chronicles.
Julius Caesar	Based on Thomas North's translation of Plutarch's Lives. Shakespeare deviated from historical facts to curtail time.
King John	Based on the play The Troublesome Reign of King John (c.1589). Possibly also based on John Foxe's Acts and Monuments, Matthew Paris' Historia Maior, and the Latin Wakefield Chronicle.
King Lear	Based on the second edition (1587) of Raphael Holinshed’s Chronicles, Edmund Spenser's The Faerie Queene (which contains a character named Cordelia who also dies from hanging) and Philip Sidney's Countess of Pembroke's Arcadia which features a blind king and his two sons).
Love's Labour's Lost	Theoretically based on a now lost account of a diplomatic visit made to Henry of Navarre in 1578 by Catherine de Medici and her daughter, Henry's estranged wife, to discuss the future of Aquitaine. Possibly based on the early plays of John Lyly, Robert Wilson's The Cobbler's Prophecy and Pierre de la Primaudaye's L'Academie française.
Macbeth	Based on the Daemonologie of King James detailing the famous North Berwick Witch Trials of 1590. Also based on Holinshed's Chronicles or George Buchanan's Rerum Scoticarum Historia.
Measure for Measure	Based on "The Story of Epitia" from Cinthio's Gli Hecatommithi and George Whetstone's 1578 Promos and Cassandra.
The Merchant of Venice	Based on Il Pecorone by Giovanni Fiorentino and the forfeit of a merchant's deadly bond after standing surety for a friend's loan which was a common tale in England in the late 16th century.  Elements of the trial scene are based on The Orator by Alexandre Sylvane and the story of the three caskets is based on Gesta Romanorum.
The Merry Wives of Windsor	Based on Il Pecorone, a collection of stories by Ser Giovanni Fiorentino included in William Painter's The Palace of Pleasure.
A Midsummer Night's Dream	Based on Ovid's Metamorphoses, Chaucer's "The Knight's Tale", Aristophanes' The Birds and Der Busant.
Much Ado About Nothing	Based on the Novelle ("Tales") by Matteo Bandello of Mantua and/or Orlando Furioso by Ludovico Ariosto.  Stories of lovers deceived into believing each other false were common currency in northern Italy in the sixteenth century.
Othello	Based on Cinthio's tale "Un Capitano Moro" from Gli Hecatommithi (1565).
Pericles, Prince of Tyre	Based on Confessio Amantis by John Gower and the Lawrence Twine prose version of The Pattern of Painful Adventures.
Richard II	Based on the second edition of Raphael Holinshed's Chronicles of England, Scotlande, and Irelande & Edward Hall's The Union of the Two Illustrious Families of Lancaster and York.
Richard III	Based on Holinshed's Chronicles, the writings of John Rous, Polydore Vergil and Thomas More.
Romeo and Juliet	Based on Arthur Brooke’s The Tragical History of Romeus and Juliet, a translation of Giulietta e Romeo originally created by Luigi da Porto - in turn inspired by Mariotto and Ganozza by Masuccio Salernitano.
The Taming of the Shrew	Based on tale 44 of Libro de los ejemplos del conde Lucanor y de Patronio by Don Juan Manuel, The Canterbury Tales by Geoffrey Chaucer and also oral tradition (the 'Shrew-taming Complex' in the Aarne–Thompson classification system). Subplot based on Ludovico Ariosto's I Suppositi.
The Tempest	Based on passages from "Naufragium" in Erasmus's Colloquia Familiaria, Peter Martyr's De orbo novo, William Strachey's A True Reportory of the Wracke and Redemption of Sir Thomas Gates, Knight
Timon of Athens	Based on the twenty-eighth novella of William Painter's Palace of Pleasure, Plutarch's Lives, perhaps Lucian's Dialogues and a lost comedy on the subject of Timon.
Titus Andronicus	Based on Gesta Romanorum, Ovid's Metamorphoses, Seneca's Thyestes, Livy's Ab urbe condita and Plutarch's Life of Coriolanus.
Troilus and Cressida	Based on Chaucer's Troilus and Criseyde, John Lydgate's Troy Book and Caxton's translation of the Recuyell of the Historyes of Troye.
Twelfth Night	Based on the Italian production Gl'ingannati by the Accademia degli Intronati and "Of Apollonius and Silla", in Barnabe Riche's 1581 collection.
The Two Gentlemen of Verona	Based Los Siete Libros de la Diana by Jorge de Montemayor, Thomas Elyot's The Boke Named the Governour and John Lyly's Euphues, The Anatomy of Wit.
The Two Noble Kinsmen	Based on "The Knight's Tale" from Geoffrey Chaucer's The Canterbury Tales.
The Winter's Tale	Based on Robert Greene's Pandosto.

However, rather than be devastated by this news, I chose to view it from the positive and from that angle there are 2 very clear points to be seen:

1) It demonstrates the importance of not falling victim to hero worship (especially without all the facts).

2) It provides us with a chance to explore the sources that inspired the Bard. 

In the end, it could even be said, rather than diminishing him, to serve to make him even more relatable, more human, even more like us, which is, after all, one of his most enduring qualities and one believed to be one of the main reasons the prolific work of the son of Warwickshire glover is still perused, pored over and performed over 400 years after his death.