I Am The Only Captain Of A Small Charter Firm Airdot - !!!NEW!!!

Returning to an old favourite today - that wonderful radio series Cabin Pressure. And this time combining the tale of MJN's Supreme Commander with a tune from the Pirates of Penzance to create... the Pilot of Penzance?

The Major-General's Song The Airline Captain's Song not by Gilbert and Sullivan

I am the only captain of a small charter firm air-er-dot

Yet they think it's Douglas because he has something I have not

I know all of the manual and yet I don’t receive a salary

Because to be a pilot is what I always wanted to be

I’m very well acquainted too with unprofessionality

Can’t understand why Douglas seems to enjoy making fun of me

He seems to get such fun from winding me up and goading me along

And I never even wanted to play the travelling lemon

I'm very good at fending off all contributory suggestions;

I know all of the answers to safety procedure questions:

I’ll make sure all of the passengers know who's in charge of all this lot,

I am the only captain of a small charter firm air-er-dot

I wanted to be a pilot, since I was only six years old;

My dad couldn’t understand, why I wouldn’t do as I was told,

He thought it would be much better if I became an electrician,

But I was determined to follow my own chosen profession;

I know it took me several goes for me to get my CPL,

But in my spare time I practice my skills on the flight sim as well

This might seem strange for somebody who spends their day flying a plane,

But as it doesn’t come natural it’s what I must do to train.

I tell my fam’ly of my job to make me sound like a big man,

But don’t say I really make a living from driving Dad’s old van:

Though Cat may be a warden and Simon an admin that’s their lot,

I am the only captain of a small charter firm air-er-dot.

I’ve seen and done so much during all my time flying with MJN,

And even landed the plane when a stray goose took out our engine,

I dated a young girl who introduced me to the royal scene,

(I think that this now means that I can say I have a bobsled team)

I haven’t finished learning and there’s still a long way yet to go,

And I won’t be discouraged although the endeavour might be slow

In short, when I've achieved the rank and status that I seek to glean–

You'll say that a better Air-er-dot Captain you have never seen.

It seems I’m always questioned, on what I know of aviationry,

Yes I know my first officer has more experience than me;

But I’ll put up with all the ways he thinks of as that's all he's got
I am the only captain of a small charter firm air-er-dot