From The Mind of Merc - The Titanic Solution

Sometimes I find my mind wandering over various eclectic topics and occasionally I am inspired to write some of them down. Today I was reviewing a possible solution I created to the tragedy at the end of Titanic (no not the obvious tragedy - the other one).

I am a huge fan of the 1997 film Titanic but I have to admit it kind of spoiled it when I worked out a way that Jack Dawson could have survived.
(Although the film (and my solution) occurred in 1997 I've decided to share them now rather than waiting another 3 years for the film's 20^th anniversary.)

To be clear, I'm not talking got into a lifeboat or insisted Rose get in one so he could concentrate on saving himself or even don't get on Titanic in the first place – I'm talking one simple thing that could easily have saved his life and it's all to do with this door:

or rather this piece of this door:

(Recognise it now?)

In the film, both Jack and Rose attempt to get on the door. However, their weight is too much and threatens to capsize it due to a simple matter of physics:

so Jack does the noble thing and lets go so Rose can climb aboard and ultimately survive.

Here's where he missed a trick – and when you think about it it's so simple - would it have been so difficult and such a stretch to have attempted to board the door FROM OPPOSITE SIDES?

That way their weights balance each other out, they would both have been able to climb on to the door and could used each other's body heat to stay warm until the one returning lifeboat comes looking for them.

Thus both Jack and Rose survive, Jack's life has not been given in vain and they can live happily ever after together

And all by changing one little thing in how they approached the door.

(Oh and I realise some people will say that Jack and Rose were both in freezing cold water so how would they have had the presence of mind to think of it. Well, Jack displayed quite of lot of presence of mind both before and once they were in the water as he was clear-headed enough to tell Rose on the bow of the ship what she would need to do once they were in the water and when he found her after the boat sank he was still able to give instructions on how to get out of their predicament (well, almost). I suspect Jack would have chosen that particularly piece of driftwood because of its size and personally in his position would have been tempted to push Rose off and tell her to try again.)

Speech-wrecker (Part 9) - Mercorabilia

Another contination of the twist on the speech-wrecker theme today - this time focusing on Achilles speech in Troy.

Achilles: Myrmidons, my men with swords. I’d rather fight beside you because I sure as hell wouldn’t want you attacking me right now. Let no man forget how scary we can make ourselves look, like lions! Do you know what’s there, waiting, beyond that beach? Certain death and an excruciating amount of pain! Take it, it’s yours!”

We Don't Want No Reformation - !!!NEW!!!

Ok - so I will admit that this piece came about when I was letting some lyrics wander through my mind and they kind of got distorted and started to sound like something else - which I pursued and created this:

We Can't Get No Satisfaction We Don’t Want No Reformation not by The Rolling Stones

We don't want no reformation
We don't want no reformation
They will try and they’ll try and we’ll cry and we’ll cry
We don't want no, we don't want no
Well I'm workin’ in my home
And this man comes to the town square
He's spoutin’ out Thomas More
And then some useless information
Supposed to fuel my indignation

We don't want no, oh no, no, no
Nay, nay, nay, that's what we say

We don't want no reformation
We don't want no reformation
They will try and they’ll try and we’ll cry and we’ll cry
We don't want no, we don't want no
Well I'm prayin’ in latin
And a man comes up and tells me
What faith I should now be
But he can't be holy 'cause he doesn't want
The same languages/services as me

We don't want no, oh no, no, no
A nay, nay, nay, that's what we say

We don't want no reformation
We want transubstantiation
They will try and they’ll try and we’ll cry and we’ll cry
We don't want no, we don't want no
Well I'm headin’ off to church
And I'm arrested for attemptin’ that
And I'm tryin' to make some guy
Believe maybe he’s on the wrong track, his time’s ill spent
Cause you see I’ll never repent

We don't want no, oh no, no, no
A nay, nay, nay, that's what we say

We don't want no, we don't want no
We don't want no reformation, no reformation
no reformation, no reformation
We don’t want no

Be My Pal - !!!NEW!!!

Yet another on the spot creation - this one inspired by the most recent regeneration of the Doctor and his initially tenuous relationship with his current companion... with a hint of Disney thrown in.

Kiss The Girl Be My Pal not by Sebastian

Eccleston

Tennant
Smith
Me

There she sees me

Diff'rent face yet still the same

Possible she wants to leave

But I don't want to lose her
Don't want her to go

But it's her choice and so

I'm asking Be my pal

Yes, it's still me

Look at me, you know it's true

Deep down I'm still the man you knew

He's just harder to see

Please don’t go away
I want you to stay
Go on and Be my pal

Stay with me now
Boom-boom-boom-boom
Here the drums

Look out as danger comes

Please stay and be my pal

Boom-boom-boom-boom
Don't miss out
Can't you hear me shout

Don't wanna lose my gal

Now’s our moment
Travelling through time and space

Might now be a diff'rent pace
But that might be better
Whatever's to come
I will still need a chum

Want you to Be my pal

Boom-boom-boom-boom
Don’t be scared
'Cause you are well prepared
Go on and be my pal

Boom-boom-boom-boom
Don’t leave yet
Don’t have a need to fret
Just stay and be my pal

Ring-ring-ring-ring
Make your choice
Listen to the voiceWhen he says Be my pal
Ring-ring-ring-click
Phonecall's done
You want to carry on?

You wanna Be my pal

You’ve got to Be my pal

Why don’t you Be my pal

You gotta Be my pal

Go on and Be my pal

Poor Unfortunate Souls - !!!NEW!!!

Or as I have amended it - Simple Gullible Fools.
In case you can't tell, it's a mixture of Ursula's song from The Little Mermaid as it might have been if performed by Moriarty from the BBC series Sherlock.
This is another on the spot creation that I put together about an hour ago but I liked it so I thought I'd share it. Enjoy!

Poor Unfortunate Souls Simple Gullible Fools not by Ursula the Sea Witch

I admit that in the past I've been quite naughty

They weren't wrong to arrest me and start a trial

But you'll see that even so

To jail's not where I'll go

Despite all of the evidence you give
True? Yes

Cause I fortunately know a little secret
It's something that I have not long possessed
And it comes from way back when

Concealed within my den

I used to help out people in distress (pathetic)

Simple gullible fools

So vain, such greed
This one longing to be richer

That one wants to get away
And do I help them?
Yes, indeed
Those simple gullible souls
So bad, so true
They come flocking to my website

Asking for Moriarty
And I help them!
Yes I do

Now you're in my way you see

And to keep you off of me
I'm afraid I've had to shop them and let them go
Yes it doesn't seem quite right

But then you will soon see the light

Like those simple gullible fools

---

People out there don't think a lot for themselves
They prefer to read the gossip found in print

Yes they won't want you around I'll run you into the ground

Why can't you understand a subtle hint

You think they'll believe any single thing that you say

When I'm finished they'll forget you exist

Sherlock don't you understand

They'll be eating from my hand

There is no way that you can get through this

Come on you simple gullible fool

Go ahead!
End your strife!
I'm a very busy bad guy and I haven't got all day
It won't cost much
Just your life!
You simple gullible fool

I win, you lose
If you want to save their lives, Sherlock

You've got the pay the price
Take a gulp and take a breath
And go ahead and take the dive

Once I've shot myself I've got you good

Cause Sherlock's gonna fall

I am the best after all!