The Walking Dead Advent Calendar - 1

It’s that time of year again.

My theme for this year’s caption advent calendar is The Walking Dead.

Door number 1:

From The Mind of Merc - US Election

Sometimes I find my mind wandering over various eclectic topics and occasionally I am inspired to write some of them down. Today, as with the rest of this month,  I was thinking about the US election.

If you voted for Trump then I’m sorry but I just don’t understand your choice.

I’ve no doubt you had your reasons I just hope they weren’t the same as the rest of his supporters.

You may have chosen to support him as an alternative to Hillary or because you’re anti-Democrat but what his biggest fans voted for was the wall to keep out immigrants, the deportation of all non-white people, the right to treat people like slaves and women like objects.

You may not agree with these viewpoints but thanks to you, the man who embodies them is now the man in charge of the ‘Free World’/Commander-In-Chief of the USA.

If you voted for Trump but don’t believe in his policies – you are an enabler.

If you didn’t vote for either candidate – you are a bystander.

And these two types of people can be just as dangerous as the people who commit evil acts because they allow the evil acts to happen.

Don’t be an enabler or a bystander – be a stander, be a fighter. Stand up for equality, fight against discrimination.

The US election was the battle – it was not the war.

To those, like me, who are scared at the changes that are already occurring in American society:

Do not give up

Do not hide away

Do not live in fear

His supporters may be numerous but they are not the majority (they weren’t even the majority of the votes but let’s not go there).

The best way to deal with a threat is to use it to make yourself stronger and that’s what we should do. Band together, stand up for each other, show these discriminatory, uneducated bigots that their behaviour is NOT what makes America great again.

Above all don’t accept the behaviour – report it, stand up against it (within reason – i.e. don’t put yourself at risk), speak out to condemn it.

They may be right-wing that does not make them right. They are in fact little better than terrorists and I would hope that such a thought would shame them into reconsidering their actions (although sadly I doubt it). A terrorist is defined as someone who uses intentionally indiscriminate violence (terror) in order to achieve a political, religious, or ideological aim - can you think of a better word to describe people who accuse, abuse and assault people simply because they have a different skin colour, religion or gender?

And now they are shedding their civilised camouflage to show their true terrorist colours. Well, shame on them! All that does is make them easier to spot, to isolate and to deal with. They should not be fooled into believing that suddenly their unacceptable behaviour is acceptable – it’s not, it never has been and it never will be and the sooner they are educated to understand that the better. Prejudiced violence will not make their country great again.

Some parents are concerned about what this teaches children and what they positively say about the situation.

But the lesson for children from the US election is not ‘If you are a misogynistic, racist, sexist bully then you can become President’ but ‘If you don’t stand up to misogyny, bigotry and racism and don’t use your vote when it matters, this is what happens’ and what must never be allowed to happen again

Oh Dear What Can The Matter Be (Part 2) - !!!NEW!!!

Following on from my previous parody of Oh Dear What Can The Matter Be (see here), I decided that the situation in America warranted its own version. And here it is:

Oh Dear, What Can The Matter Be also not by Anon

Oh dear, what can the matter be

America has voted Trump in, you see

Now he’s in charge of their Presidency

What on earth have they done now?

Despite the pleas of tons of celebrities

They thought he’d help to destroy the disease

That they feel’s destroying the colonies

What on earth have they done now?

We thought that they would come to see sense one day

Not let bigotry and racism hold sway

Supremists are now shouting hip-hip-hooray

What on earth have they done now?

It’s viewed as a win for groups like the KKK

For them it’s a glorious red letter day

They think that they now have a chance to stay

What on earth have they done now?

Hate and violence are all over the TV

Pain and suffering seems to be all we see

Extremist groups are filling the country

What on earth have they done now?

But

It’s not the end of the world – oh no, it’s not

Trump has won but he’ll never be on top

Haters will hate but then we will make them stop

That is what we must do now

The racist groups are the ones in decline

They’ve kept their colours hidden all this time

But they’ll see their views still won’t tow the line

That is what we must do now

We won’t give in to petty in-fighting

We must stay strong and keep on wrong-righting

Show them how to keep letting the light in

That is what we must do now

Trump wants to cause lots of division

But if that happens is not his decision

We will force him to make a revision

That is what we must do now

Oh dear, what can the matter be

America has voted Trump in, you see

But he doesn’t speak for all of us you’ll see

We will show them all and how

Disney Life Hacks #4 - Giselle

A continuation of my new Disney Life Hacks series - those little tricks the Disney stars use to achieve the unlikely, unbelievable and impossible.

Today, Giselle shares her top tip:

(After all, who needs sleep?)

I Believe - !!!NEW!!!

I will not comment on the recent political developments. I will not comment on the recent political developments. I will not comment on the recent political developments... Instead I'll leave it up to the lyrics of this parodied song from Not The Nine O'Clock News.

I Believe not by Not The Nine O'Clock News

I believe that life is happy and death is sad.

I believe my mum was married to my dad.

I believe that things that aren't good tend to be bad.

I believe...Yes, I believe.

I'm prepared to believe Jeremy Hunt isn't a crook.

I'm prepared to believe Fifty Shades is a readable book.

I believe the best song ever’s Aguilera’s ‘Dirty’.

I believe that Kim Kardashian’s still under 30.

I believe George Bush is clever.

That the Queen will live forever.

And that leisure is pronounced leezure.

And that the Prometheus film was better than its teaser.

I am prepared to say Miley Cyrus is too shy.

And that everyone looks better when wearing tie dye.

I'm prepared to believe that Scrooge is a decent bloke.

And Vladimir Putin tells a darn good knock-knock joke.

I believe that some folks can hear what Mr Bean is saying.

And that Luton is really a very nice place to stay in.

I believe that Kermit really loves Miss Piggy.

I believe that global warming is no biggie.

And I believe that the devil is ready to repent.

But I can't believe that Donald Trump is President!

(Btw, America - in England today's date is 9/11. Just sayin')

From The Mind of Merc - Non-Gender Roles

Sometimes I find my mind wandering over various eclectic topics and occasionally I am inspired to write some of them down. Today I was thinking about Non-Gender Roles.

I saw an interesting video on Facebook the other day in which a young individual explained why they view themselves as being ‘Non binary’ when it comes to gender and that it is wrong to classify people as male or female as this is outdated, creepy, and wrong as gender is ‘all in the mind’.

I have to say that my immediate reaction to this was: ‘Er... no – there are such things as male and female – it’s just the associated stereotypes that are wrong’.
For example, the idea that
Boys wear blue, girls wear pink
Boys wear trousers, girls wear skirts
Boys play football, girls play dolls
When actually,
Boys and girls wear and play whatever they want

Saying that gender doesn’t exist as a means of overcoming the pigeonholes society places people in is like sticking your fingers in your ears on bonfire night and trying to pretend there aren’t any fireworks outside – not the case, also not going to make it so.

By all means, if you feel so inclined, buck the trend. But surely to do so it would be better to adopt a nonchalant attitude to people’s reactions – as in ‘this is me – deal with’ rather than ‘you’re wrong because...’. Because to do the latter you are, in a way, sinking down to their level by inflicting a negative attitude on them. They may be wrong but claiming to change the truth to suit individual beliefs could also be viewed as wrong (and delusional).
To quote Sherlock Holmes “Insensibly one begins to twist facts to suit theories, instead of theories to suit facts.” – ergo don’t try and change facts to suit your own views – accept the facts and use them to support your own views.
Be free in your choices, be transgender, be heterosexual, homosexual, bisexual but you are biologically either male or female.

(Of course I could be completely misunderstanding the term – in which case I would welcome clarification)

As I have said before, I firmly believe people should be allowed to make their own choices in life (provided said choices do not harm others) – it is their life and therefore theirs to do with what they will. So don’t feel confined by societal roles but don’t seek to change scientific fact as a means of doing so especially when it isn’t necessary.

So if you are biologically one gender or the other then that, technically is what you are – it does not mean to you have follow societal norms or even stay as that gender but for all intents and purposes that is your physical gender.

Nobody Expects Franklin D Roosevelt - Mercorabilia

This was inspired whilst watching an episode of Red Dwarf in which Arnold Judas Rimmer was trying to give a stirring speech to the crew and I couldn’t help noticing its similarity to a scene from another comedy show.

Rimmer:

We have nothing to fear but fear itself… Apart from pain. Fear and pain. Pain and fear. The two - two things we have to fear are fear and pain… And maybe humiliation. The three – three things we have to fear are fear and pain and humiliation… And obviously death and failure. But apart from pain, humiliation, death, failure, and the unknown, we have nothing to fear but fear itself. I’ll try it again.

(If you’re wondering about the title of the sketch – it is Franklin D Roosevelt who coined the famous quote "We have nothing to fear but fear itself.")

Disney Life Hacks #3 - Pocahontas

A continuation of my new Disney Life Hacks series - those little tricks the Disney stars use to achieve the unlikely, unbelievable and impossible.

Today, Pocahontas shares her top tip:

(And here's Meeko in action)

Unsuspicious Circumstances sketch - Mercorabilia

A return to the world of Midsomer today and, in a way, it’s mixing it with the Mock the Week round ‘Scenes We’d Like To See’ as it’s ‘Things You’d Never See in a Midsomer Murders Episode’

Barnaby: Evening, George.
Bullard: Evening, Tom.
Barnaby: So what have we got?
Bullard: John Smith, aged 89, found dead in his bed by his housekeeper.
Barnaby: So what did he die from?
Bullard: Natural causes.
Barnaby: <pause> Are you sure?
Bullard: Yes.
Barnaby: Hmm. What’s the scar on his chest?
Bullard: That’s where I cut him open to do the autopsy.
Barnaby: I see. And this?
Bullard: That’s a tan-line from his watch.
Barnaby: So there’s no sign of foul play.
Bullard: No.
Barnaby: What about this?
Bullard: What?
Barnaby: This bruise.
Bullard: That’s your shadow.
Barnaby: Ah. <pause> So there’s nothing untoward.
Bullard: No.
Barnaby: No suspicious toxicology results.
Bullard: No.
Barnaby: No sign of anything that could be construed as suspicious.
Bullard: No.
Barnaby: Are you trying to tell me that this Midsomer resident genuinely died of natural causes?
Bullard: Yes.
Barnaby: Hmm. <pause> Isn’t that in itself suspicious?

From The Mind of Merc - Music Videos

Sometimes I find my mind wandering over various eclectic topics and occasionally I am inspired to write some of them down. Today I was thinking about music videos. This is a phenomenon I’m struggling to understand.

To explain my consternation, there are innumerable musicians and music stars who claim to support various charities donating their time and effort to numerous causes. AND YET they and their record companies will still spend millions if not billions of pounds making videos to accompany their songs.

The reason this puzzles me is that such videos are by their nature redundant and consequently pointless as the companies are not selling the video – they are selling the music, which is purely auditory.

This means they are forking out ridiculous sums to create these ‘innovative’, ‘ground-breaking’, lurid and often unconnected new films for something which they want people to listen to – not watch – with the apparent intention that it will encourage people to want to listen to the song. Surely if the song is not good enough to sell on its sound alone then it is simply not good enough.

I firmly believe artists should revert to the previous format for music videos – i.e. them singing/performing the song in a plain surrounding. No gimmicks, no CGI, no exorbitantly expensive sets. Just them and their music. If it is truly the music that they love and want to share then that is all they will need.

As for the directors who create these ‘masterpieces’, if they are truly as gifted as the companies claim then they will undoubtedly find or be found work in other less spendthrift projects.

Also, it is increasingly unlikely that the majority of the population will see said video a) because doing so is time-consuming in an increasingly time-constrained world, b) because most people will no doubt purely either hear or only be interested in hearing the music itself and c) despite its availability through sites like YouTube these, and consequently it, are still not the first port of call for someone seeking a new tune or piece of music.

Just think of the people and charitable causes that could be helped if, instead of spending these obscene amounts of money on unnecessary film, the money instead went the causes they claim to support.

When choosing out of ‘Artist wins award for new music video’ or ‘1000s of lives saved thanks to donation by record company’ – I know which headline I’d like to see.