F*ck You - !!!NEW!!!

This one's not much of adaptation but still a valid message so I thought I'd post it.
Lily Allen's 2009 song Fuck You was apparently written about George W. Bush. However, I figured a lot of the lyrics were still prevalent and - with a little tweaking - could easily be about the current incumbent. So tweak I did.

Fuck You not (entirely) by Lily Allen

Look inside
Look inside your tiny mind
If you even can find it
'Cause we're so uninspired
So sick and tired of all the hatred you emit

So you say
It's not okay to be gay
Well, I think you're just evil
You're just some racist whose full of disgraces
Your point of view is medieval

Fuck you (fuck you)
Fuck you very, very much
'Cause we hate what you do
And we hate your whole crew
So, please don't stay in touch

Fuck you (fuck you)
Fuck you very, very much
'Cause your words don't translate
You’re destroying the States
So, please don't stay in touch

Do you get
Do you get a little kick out of being small-minded?
Don’t want to be like Obama
(Yet) It's approval you're after
Well, that's not how you find it

Do you
Do you really enjoy living a life that's so hateful?
'Cause there's a hole where your soul should be
You're losing control, you see
And you’re really distasteful

Fuck you (fuck you)
Fuck you very, very much
'Cause we hate what you do
And we hate your whole crew
So, please don't stay in touch

Fuck you (fuck you)
Fuck you very, very much
'Cause your words don't translate
You’re destroying the States
So, please don't stay in touch

Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you
Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you
Fuck you

You say
You think the virus is a hoax
Well, we wish that you were one
'Cause it's people like you that need to get slew
No one wants your opinion

Fuck you (fuck you)
Fuck you very, very much
'Cause we hate what you do
And we hate your whole crew
So, please don't stay in touch

Fuck you (fuck you)
Fuck you very, very much
'Cause your words don't translate
And it's getting quite late
So, please don't stay in touch

Fuck you (fuck you)
Fuck you (fuck you)
Fuck you (fuck you)
Fuck you (fuck you)
Fuck you (fuck you)

President - !!!NEW!!!

I've written a new parody song about Donald Trump using Avril Lavigne's song ‘Girlfriend’ (surprisingly I didn’t have to change many of the lyrics).
I would just like to say how glad I am to live in a land which allows Freedom of Speech.

Girlfriend President not by Avril Lavigne

Hey! U! S! A!

I don’t like your President!

No way! No way!

I think you need a new one

Hey! U! S! A!

You need a new President

Hey! U! S! A!

I know you don’t like him

No way! No way!

I know it's not a secret

Hey! U! S! A!

You need a new President

Crossed the line

Out of his mind

He’s so ludicrous

You hear about him all the time

So ridiculous

Don’t you know what you can do to make it all alright (alright, alright, alright)?

Don’t pretend you don’t know he thinks he’s precious

You don’t need

Such a motherfucking princess

I can tell you hate him too and you know I’m right

He’s like so not clever

You could do so much better

I think we should get rid of him now

And that’s what everyone’s talking about!

Hey! U! S! A!

I don’t like your President!

No way! No way!

I think you need a new one

Hey! U! S! A!

You need a new President

Hey! U! S! A!

I know you don’t like him

No way! No way!

I know it's not a secret

Hey! U! S! A!

You need a new President

I can see the way, I see the way you look at him

Specially when he tweets away know you just don’t want him

Hear how they talk about him all the time again and again (again, again, again)

So come over here, (I’ll) tell you what you want to hear

How to make your President disappear

You won’t have to hear his name said not ever again (not again, not again, not again!)

He’s like so not clever

You could do so much better

I think we should get rid of him now

And that’s what everyone’s talking about!

Hey! U! S! A!

I don’t like your President!

No way! No way!

I think you need a new one

Hey! U! S! A!

You need a new President

Hey! U! S! A!

I know you don’t like him

No way! No way!

I know it's not a secret

Hey! U! S! A!

You need a new President

In a second you’ll be heading straight for world war

'Cause he don’t know what that red button’s for

Need another

So when's it gonna sink in?

He’s so stupid

What the hell were you thinking?!

In a second you’ll be heading straight for world war

'Cause he don’t know what that red button’s for

Need another

So when's it gonna sink in?

He’s so stupid

What the hell were you thinking?!

Hey! U! S! A!

I don’t like your President!

No way! No way!

I think you need a new one

Hey! U! S! A!

You need a new President

Hey! U! S! A!

I know you don’t like him

No way! No way!

I know it's not a secret

Hey! U! S! A!

You need a new President

Today! Today!

Hey! U! S! A!
I don’t like your President!
No way! No way!
I think you need a new one
Hey! U! S! A!
You need a new President
Hey! U! S! A!
I know you don’t like him
No way! No way!
I know it's not a secret
Hey! U! S! A!
You need a new President
Today! Today!

Hey! Hey!

From The Mind of Merc - US Election

Sometimes I find my mind wandering over various eclectic topics and occasionally I am inspired to write some of them down. Today, as with the rest of this month,  I was thinking about the US election.

If you voted for Trump then I’m sorry but I just don’t understand your choice.

I’ve no doubt you had your reasons I just hope they weren’t the same as the rest of his supporters.

You may have chosen to support him as an alternative to Hillary or because you’re anti-Democrat but what his biggest fans voted for was the wall to keep out immigrants, the deportation of all non-white people, the right to treat people like slaves and women like objects.

You may not agree with these viewpoints but thanks to you, the man who embodies them is now the man in charge of the ‘Free World’/Commander-In-Chief of the USA.

If you voted for Trump but don’t believe in his policies – you are an enabler.

If you didn’t vote for either candidate – you are a bystander.

And these two types of people can be just as dangerous as the people who commit evil acts because they allow the evil acts to happen.

Don’t be an enabler or a bystander – be a stander, be a fighter. Stand up for equality, fight against discrimination.

The US election was the battle – it was not the war.

To those, like me, who are scared at the changes that are already occurring in American society:

Do not give up

Do not hide away

Do not live in fear

His supporters may be numerous but they are not the majority (they weren’t even the majority of the votes but let’s not go there).

The best way to deal with a threat is to use it to make yourself stronger and that’s what we should do. Band together, stand up for each other, show these discriminatory, uneducated bigots that their behaviour is NOT what makes America great again.

Above all don’t accept the behaviour – report it, stand up against it (within reason – i.e. don’t put yourself at risk), speak out to condemn it.

They may be right-wing that does not make them right. They are in fact little better than terrorists and I would hope that such a thought would shame them into reconsidering their actions (although sadly I doubt it). A terrorist is defined as someone who uses intentionally indiscriminate violence (terror) in order to achieve a political, religious, or ideological aim - can you think of a better word to describe people who accuse, abuse and assault people simply because they have a different skin colour, religion or gender?

And now they are shedding their civilised camouflage to show their true terrorist colours. Well, shame on them! All that does is make them easier to spot, to isolate and to deal with. They should not be fooled into believing that suddenly their unacceptable behaviour is acceptable – it’s not, it never has been and it never will be and the sooner they are educated to understand that the better. Prejudiced violence will not make their country great again.

Some parents are concerned about what this teaches children and what they positively say about the situation.

But the lesson for children from the US election is not ‘If you are a misogynistic, racist, sexist bully then you can become President’ but ‘If you don’t stand up to misogyny, bigotry and racism and don’t use your vote when it matters, this is what happens’ and what must never be allowed to happen again

I Believe - !!!NEW!!!

I will not comment on the recent political developments. I will not comment on the recent political developments. I will not comment on the recent political developments... Instead I'll leave it up to the lyrics of this parodied song from Not The Nine O'Clock News.

I Believe not by Not The Nine O'Clock News

I believe that life is happy and death is sad.

I believe my mum was married to my dad.

I believe that things that aren't good tend to be bad.

I believe...Yes, I believe.

I'm prepared to believe Jeremy Hunt isn't a crook.

I'm prepared to believe Fifty Shades is a readable book.

I believe the best song ever’s Aguilera’s ‘Dirty’.

I believe that Kim Kardashian’s still under 30.

I believe George Bush is clever.

That the Queen will live forever.

And that leisure is pronounced leezure.

And that the Prometheus film was better than its teaser.

I am prepared to say Miley Cyrus is too shy.

And that everyone looks better when wearing tie dye.

I'm prepared to believe that Scrooge is a decent bloke.

And Vladimir Putin tells a darn good knock-knock joke.

I believe that some folks can hear what Mr Bean is saying.

And that Luton is really a very nice place to stay in.

I believe that Kermit really loves Miss Piggy.

I believe that global warming is no biggie.

And I believe that the devil is ready to repent.

But I can't believe that Donald Trump is President!

(Btw, America - in England today's date is 9/11. Just sayin')

The Presidents Song - Horrific Histories

A return to my Horrific Histories collection now (a selection of songs that I created it for Horrible Histories but never actually submitted).
A well-known (& I think popular) song from that series is the English Kings & Queens Song which cleverly fits in all the rulers of England from William I and Elizabeth. And I started to wonder whether you could do the same with the US Presidents...

The English Kings & Queens Presidents Song not by Horrible Histories

I'm Washington, my first name’s George
A true Virginian
A Founder of the USA
And the Constitution

A soldier and Republican
I set all my slaves free
Opposed to a dictatorship

But enough about me

To help remember presidents
I've come up with this song
A simple rhyming ditty
For you all to sing along

Oh, Washington
(Bit short innit? We need more names. Who came next?)

John Adams, founding father
Lived to reach his ninetieth year
I took over, Jefferson
Also a friend of Washington

Then James Madison, & Monroe
Also called James, so now you know
John Quincy Adams? He’s six
Andrew Jackson called ‘Old Hick’

Martin Van Buren, and not forgotten
The shortest rule of William Harrison

Washington, Adams, Jeff’son, Madison
Monroe, Adams, Jack-son!
Van Buren and Harrison
And now on with this song

Tyler next both sides he vexed
James Polk he did great
Taylor holds third shortest rule
Fillimore lots did hate

From Polk’s party came Franklin Pierce
Who enjoyed his drinkin’
James Buchanan and then who else
But Abraham Lincoln

When he was gone, we got Johnson
Then came Grant or Ulysees
Garfield’s twenty and next you’ll see
Mr Rutherford Hayes

Then Chester A. Arthur
Grover Cleveland’s a pain
Cause after Harrison we have
Grover Cleveland again

That’s right he had, two full terms
But they were not together
This shouldn’t be a big problem but
It spoils the numbers
But so what, much more we’ve got
Including McKinley
Now we’re up to 25 with
So much more to see

Washington, Adams, Jeff’son, Madison
Monroe, Adams, Jack-son!
(Van) Buren, Harr’son, Tyler, Polk
Taylor, Fillimore, Pierce, Buch
Lincoln, Johnson, Grant and Hayes
Garfield, Arthur, Cleveland’s one
Harrison, Cleveland’s two
McKinley and now on

Roosevelt was president next
And why we name bears Ted
When William Taft, lost power he
Was Chief Justice instead
Then war did come, yes World War One
Wilson led us through this
Harding was grim and after him
Coolidge who we don’t miss

He helped enforce, the drinking laws
Hoover fought the depression
Wall Street crashed, there’s no more cash
But did we learn our lesson?

Washington, Adams, Jeff’son, Madison
Monroe, Adams, Jack-son!
(Van) Buren, Harr’son, Tyler, Polk
Taylor, Fillimore, Pierce, Buch
Lincoln, Johnson, Grant and Hayes
Garfield, Arthur, Cleveland’s one
Harrison, Cleveland’s two
(Mc)Kinley, Roosevelt, Taft and then
Wilson, Harding, Coolidge, Hoover
More to come, it's still not over

And so began the World War Two gang
Roosevelt and Truman
Then Eisenhower soon rose to power
Cause peace was on his plan

John Kennedy died in 6 3
When shot by, an assassin
Lyndon Johnson  took on from him
Then we see the rot set in (bang on)

President Nixon was vilified (in print)
And stepped down from the presidency
Ford took the role, a long-lived soul
And Jimmy Carter’s next you see

Washington, Adams, Jeff’son, Madison
Monroe, Adams, Jack-son!
(Van) Buren, Harr’son, Tyler, Polk
Taylor, Fillimore, Pierce, Buch
Lincoln, Johnson, Grant and Hayes
Garfield, Arthur, Cleveland’s one
Harrison, Cleveland’s two
(Mc)Kinley, Roosevelt, Taft, Wilson
Harding, Coolidge, Hoover, Roosevelt

Truman, Ike, Kennedy, Johnson
Carter, Ford, Nixon
(No) Nix(on), Ford, Carter, Nix(on), Ford, Carter

(We’re into nineteen eighties, you know.)

Reagan & Bush
Clinton & Bush
Obama and Trump now
And so our US presidents
Are brought right up to now, oh

Washington, Adams, Jeff’son, Madison
Monroe, Adams, Jack-son!
(Van) Buren, Harr’son, Tyler, Polk
Taylor, Fillimore, Pierce, Buch
Lincoln, Johnson, Grant and Hayes
Garfield, Arthur, Cleveland’s one
Harrison, Cleveland’s two
(Mc)Kinley, Roosevelt, Taft, Wilson
Harding, Coolidge, Hoover, Roosevelt

Truman, Ike, Kennedy, Johnson (lord!)
Nixon, Carter, Ford,
Reagan, Bush, Clinton, Bush 2
Obama and with Trump we’re through

That's all the US presidents
Since Washington formed the government!