Richard III - Grave Decision sketch (Newsreview)

One of the more recent sketches I penned for Newsjack. Turns out I got the timescale a bit wrong...

Richard: Where on earth am I? Is this…Leicester? What am I doing in Leicester? I’m supposed to be in York – it was all arranged.

Official: Ah well, you see – you died in battle – that changes things.

Richard: Does it?

Official: Yes - it’s all in the small print. Look: All those succumbing to defeat in battle shall forfeit all rights to decide place of burial upon extinction of life force.

Richard: I see – so what does that mean for me?

Official: It means you ended up under a car park in Leicester city centre. But cheer up it could have been worse - at least they found you – poor old Alfred over there – they still haven’t managed to find him.

Richard: Really?

Official: Yes. Now you’ve been found he’s solidified his place as hide-and-seek champ.

Richard: So what do I now?

Official: Well I suggest you go back to your little cubbyhole and wait until they decide what to do with you. Shouldn’t be more than a couple of years.

Richard: A couple of years?!? But I’ve been dead for over 5 centuries! Surely it can’t be that difficult to decide where to put me.

Official: What can you do? Politics.

Richard: Oh well - fingers crossed I end up somewhere nice. Goodnight.

Official: Night.