A twist on Tolkien's infamous trilogy today based on the Dark Lord's abode and a similar sounding London Underground station.
Gandalf: I am Gandalf. Servant
of the Secret Fire, Wielder of the Flame of Anor,
and friend of the Elves.
Ticket officer: Well that’s very
nice but this is a ticket office not a sci-fi convention – what did you want?
Gandalf: Oh, we’d like 10 tickets
to Morden, please. We’ve come all the way from the Shires.
Ticket officer: The Shires?
Gandalf: Well, Frodo here’s from
Buckinghamshire, Legolas - he's from Oxfordshire, Boromir’s from Derbyshire…
Ticket officer: Yes – alright I
get it. Thank you. What did you want again?
Gandalf: 10 Tickets to Morden –
we’re going to see Sauron.
Ticket officer: The Sour One?
Bit of a dragon, is she? Your mother-in-law?
Gandalf: Sauron is the
Dark Power, the Enemy, the Great Eye, the Lord of the Ring, Sorcerer, Black
Hand, the Nameless Enemy, and the Deceiver.
Ticket officer: Sounds like my
mother-in-law. Here you are – 10 tickets to Morden.
Gandalf: Thank you.
Ticket officer: Er – do you mind
if I ask – you’re already at Wimbledon. Why don’t you just walk to Morden?
Gandalf: My dear fellow. One
does not simply walk into Morden!
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