I Love Batman - !!!NEW!!!

One for my DC friends.
Another one whose lyrics popped into my head while listening to a tune.
Disclaimer: The views expressed do not necessarily represent the views of the author as this piece has been created for entertainment purposes only.

I'm Just A Girl Who Can't Say No Loves Batman not from Oklahoma

It ain't so much a question of mysterious natures
I’ve known all about him since I was ten.
I’ve read lots of comics with lots of diff’rent characters
But he’s the one I wanted now and then.
I know he is the only one for me
His presence fills me up with girlish glee!

I'm just a girl who loves Batman
That is how I get my kicks!
I know some girl love Spiderman
Frankly I think that is sick

If I ever got into danger
I know the police oughta sort it out
But as soon as I am in trouble
He’s the one I’d want to see about

I'm just a fool for that dark knight
And his utility belt
Into his arms I would melt
Though that’s not the life I’m dealt
I love Batman

Whatcha gonna do when the Joker is here
With his evil sneer?
Whatcha gonna do?
Whatcha gonna do ‘gainst Catwoman’s tricks?

She’s such a crazy chick
Whatcha gonna do?
Whatcha gonna do when penguin arrives,

And your spirit it takes a dive,
Because you know you’re not gonna survive?

Call for the cops?

I'm just a girl who loves Batman
That seems to just say it all
There’s not another I can stand
For him I’d much rather fall!
Though you can’t tell it from how I act,
It is still very visible to see
It is an undeniable fact,
That there is just no other man for me!

I can’t resist his trim Batsuit
And his super Batmobile
Nothing else could e’er compute
I just can’t help how I feel
I love Batman

I'm just a girl who loves Batman
He is my favourite hero!
I am simply his biggest fan
How could anyone say no?

Other girls might prefer Superman
But other girls are clearly so wrong!
And I will make them revise their plan
If they will just listen to this fab song!

Though I know he is fictional

That has never bothered me
My thoughts  for him are plain to see
That’s how I want it to be
I love Batman!

Disney Life Hacks #5 - Carl

A continuation of my new Disney Life Hacks series - those little tricks the Disney stars use to achieve the unlikely, unbelievable and impossible.

Today, Carl shares his top tip:

From The Mind of Merc - Anastasia

Sometimes I find my mind wandering over various eclectic topics and occasionally I am inspired to write some of them down. Today I was, unsurprisingly thinking a lot about Trump and his – so far – disastrous presidency but I feel that is being more than adequately covered in various media outlets so I thought I think about something else so today I was thinking about Anastasia.

The legend of the youngest daughter of Tsar Nicholas II is fairly well-known – helped in no small part by the 20th Century Fox film released in 1997. The truth, however, is less well-known – which is why I feel compelled to write this to set the record straight. 

As a bit of background, Grand Duchess Anastasia Nikolaevna was born on June 18, 1901 – the youngest daughter and second youngest child of Tsar Nicholas II and Tsarina Alexandra Fyodorovna. She had three elder sisters – Olga, Maria and Tatiana – and one younger brother, the jewel in her father’s Imperial crown – Tsarevich Alexei Nikolaevich.
Raised fairly simply she was described as energetic and vivacious with strawberry-blonde hair and blue eyes and extraordinary personal charm. Like other members of her family, she suffered from symptoms of ill health and is believed to have been a carrier of the haemophilia gene – a disease that affected her brother Alexei so severely it is debated it augmented the revolutionary sentiment in Russia.
Alexei’s condition was so debilitating that is arguably led to his and Anastasia’s mother – and consequently their father – becoming increasingly reliant on and devoted to the “holy man” Grigori Rasputin.
Shortly after Rasputin’s murder, she and her family were placed under house arrested in February 1917 and her father was forced to abdicate in March of that year. 
On July 17, 1918, Anastasia – along with her family and the few servants who had chosen to follow them into captivity – were roused from their beds in Ipatiev House in Yekaterinburg and told to dress with the initial information that they were being moved to a new location. They were taken down to the house’s sub-basement and it was only then that they were told they had been sentenced to death and were to be shot. The Tsar was the first to die in the onslaught of bullets and bayonets that followed and when the smoke finally cleared there was not a single moving soul in the room.

Rumours of Anastasia’s possible survival stemmed partly from the fact that she and her sisters were known to have sewn precious jewels into the lining of their clothes to keep them hidden from any greedy guards and these supposedly acted as a kind of bulletproof shield against the firing squad. The guard who found the still-living young woman supposedly took pity on her and helped her escape. This theory was fuelled by Russia actively denying the bloodbath; claiming to their new German allies that the girls had been moved to a safer location. Even her name provided cause for hope as Anastasia literally means 'Resurrection. One who will be reborn'.
In addition to this, when the remains of the bodies of the Romanov family were found in 1991, the bodies of Anastasia, and also of Alexei, were not among those uncovered – perpetuating the possibility that Anastasia survived.

Over the years (and decades), numerous impostors came forward claiming to be the long-lost Grand Duchess – the most famous of which was a woman known by the name of Anna Anderson.
Anderson was originally found in an insane asylum going by the name of Fraulein Unbekannt (or Miss Unknown) – this changed to Tschaikovsky and then to Anderson. From around 1921/22 she began claiming that she was Anastasia – a claim widely dismissed by many of the Imperial royal family but believed by enough significant people – including the daughter of the family doctor (who was killed with the family in 1917) and a cousin of the Duchess – to give it momentum
This belief was apparently due to a similarity in appearance and was enough to provoke a trip to America for ‘Anastasia’. The increasing amount of fame and public interest that surrounded her was interrupted sporadically with bouts of mental illness – which at one point meant a return to incarceration in an asylum in Germany.
In 1938, she began a lawsuit to claim what was rightfully due to her as the daughter of Tsar Nicholas II. This lawsuit was to become the longest-running in German history and ended in 1970 with the decision that Anna Anderson had been unable to prove her identity as the ‘lost’ Duchess.

Anna Anderson died in 1984 – having lived out her last 20 years in America as Mrs Anastasia Manahan – and her body was cremated which supposedly ended the debate or even the possibility of resolving the mystery of her true identity.
However, a clue to the truth behind Ms. Anderson was uncovered as far back as 1927 when a private investigation – funded by the brother of the late Tsarina, Ernst Louis, Grand Duke of Hesse – identified Anderson as Franziska Schanzkowska – a Polish factory worker with a history of mental illness following an accident in the munitions factory where she worked. She was even identified as such by Franziska’s brother, Felix – yet the deception continued.
This revelation was further and conclusively proven in 1994 when DNA tests conducted on a tissue sample from Anna Anderson ascertained that she was not and could not be related to the Tsar or the Tsarina.
No other impostors have ever been able to conclusively been able to prove they are Grand Duchess Anastasia Nikolaevna.

The reason for this is simple - and this is where we get to the crunch because, I hate to have to break it to all those who, like me, love a good romance story or a happily ever after but, Anastasia DID NOT SURVIVE.

Anastasia – like all her other siblings, her parents, and the devoted family servants – died in the hailstorm of bullets they were subjected to in that basement in Yekaterinburg in 1918. There were no survivors. 
Despite the supposed absence of her remains in the discovery in 1991, in 2007 a further discovery was made of 2 more sets of remains which provided initial suggestive proof that the myth of Anastasia’s survival was solely that – a myth.
The bodies roughly matched the same ages that Grand Duchess Anastasia and Tsarevich Alexei would have been in 1918 and DNA testing conducted by several laboratories confirmed that the remains did indeed belong the Romanov bloodline – identifying them as the until-then missing remains of the Tsarevich and the last unaccounted daughter of the Tsar.

Thus all members of the family were accounted for. The remains of all the victims of that terrible onslaught had finally been found. It had taken 89 years but the spirit of Anastasia could finally be laid to rest – and with it any speculation that she had somehow escaped.

Sad and regrettable as her story may be, it has thus been undeniably proven. Anastasia – the youngest Grand Duchess in the House of Romanov and youngest daughter of Tsar Nicholas II and Tsarina Alexandrina – died on July 17, 1918.
The initial protection that the jewels in her dress may have afforded her, did not protect her from any follow-up inspection that may have carried out on that room’s grisly cargo and there was no kindly soldier who took pity on her and helped her escape. All impostors to her name were just that – impostors – and all work that has speculated as to her survival is fiction.

Her parents and three sisters remains were finally interred in St Peter and St Paul Cathedral on July 17, 1998 and it was planned that Anastasia’s remains – along with those of Alexei – would be interred beside them on October 18, 2015. However, legal wrangling which questioned the identity of the remains prevented this from happening and, while further testing provided additional confirmation of the initial analysis of the remains, they have yet to find their final resting place. So although her body has yet to be laid to rest, her story – once and for all – can be.

Grand Duchess Anastasia Nikolaevna of Russia

June 18 1901 – July 17, 1918

Cassandra sketch - Mercorabilia

Cassandra is a famous soothsayer and Princess of Troy who was blessed with gift of prophecy but cursed in that she would never be believed.

She apparently predicted the downfall of Troy (following Helen’s arrival), the deception of the Greeks with the Trojan Horse and her own death at the hands of (Helen’s sister and) King Agamemnon’s wife, Clytemnestra.

Now, I don’t know about you but if I was Cassandra I would have cottoned on to this ‘curse’ pretty soon and it wouldn’t have taken much for me to turn it around.

For example, take the Trojan Horse - if she’d turned her curse on its head then the situation could have gone a bit like this:

Cassandra: I’m telling you! It’s full of Greek soldiers. If you bring that into the city then they’ll run rampage through the streets and kill everyone.

Trojan soldier: Don’t be daft! The Greeks are long gone. We saw to that. Look outside – their camp’s deserted. They’ve all run away like little cowards.

Cassandra: But that’s only a ploy! They’re pretending they’ve run away so you’ll decide to ‘steal’ their offering to the Gods! That horse is completely hollow!

Trojan soldier: Rubbish! Good craftsmanship that is. You can tell just by looking at it. Solid as a rock.

Cassandra: But I’m telling you! It’s… you know what – you’re right. Of course there’s nothing wrong with it. I can see that absolutely nothing bad will happen if you bring that horse inside these walls.

Trojan soldier: Hmm. Very suspicious. Alright lads, get it open.

<boards ripped apart as the soldiers break in>

Greek soldier: Ah. Um, hello. Fancy seeing you here. Yes, we were just checking it over before we left with the others.

Trojan soldier: Really? So what are you doing with those swords?

Greek soldier: Oh, well, that’s in case we find any… woodworm.

Cassandra: Somehow I don’t see this ending well for them.

Trojan solider: Now that’s the first thing you’ve got right.

Cassandra: <sigh>

Ophelia - !!!NEW!!!

Another occasion when I get a song stuck in my head and the lyrics morph into something else.

Cecilia Ophelia not by Simon & Garfunkel

Ophelia, you're the one for me
We are destined to be together
Oh, Ophelia, the love of my life
Will make you my wife one day soon

Ophelia, you're the one for me
We are destined to be together
Oh, Ophelia, the love of my life
Will make you my wife one day soon

I’m in love she’s so beautiful my Ophelia
Then I see dad’s ghost (can it be)
He tells me of his sad fate
Now I must decide what to do to sooth my hate

Ophelia, I’ve no time for you
Other things to do now that I know
Oh, Ophelia, don’t want you around
No love to be found in my heart
Go away

La-la-la-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la-la-la

Consternation

She loses her mind
She fell in the brook and is now dead

Consternation

She loses her mind
She fell in the brook and is now dead

Whoah-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh

Whoah-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh
Whoah-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh
Whoah-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh

I'm Walking On Hot Coals - !!!NEW!!!

Another occasion when the title just occurs to me... and the lyrics follow soon after.

I'm Walking On Sunshine I'm Walking On Hot Coals not by Katrina and the Waves

I used to think I couldn’t do it now baby I'm sure
And I just can't wait till the time when my feet reach the floor
Now every step I take is agony, but I cannot retreat
And I just can't wait 'til I get home to bandage my feet

I'm walking on hot coals (Ow!)
I'm walking on hot coals (Ow!)
I'm walking on hot coals (Ow!)
And it don’t feel good

Hey, enough now
And it don’t feel good, hey

I used to think that it looked like fun, now I know it's not true
This whole damn thing is taking too long, can’t wait to be through
Now I won’t be back after the weekend
Not back for a day, no no no
They said baby that I will come back
But they can’t make me stay (Oh no now!)

I'm walking on hot coals (Ow!)
I'm walking on hot coals (Ow!)
I'm walking on hot coals (Ow!)
And it don’t feel good

Hey, enough now
And it don’t feel good (No!)
And it don’t feel good

Walking on hot coals
Walking on hot coals

I feel the burn, I feel the burn, I feel the burn that's really real
I feel the burn, I feel the burn, I feel the burn that's really real

I'm on hot coals baby (Ow! Oh yeah!)
I'm on hot coals baby (Ow!)

I'm walking on hot coals (Ow!)
I'm walking on hot coals (Ow!)
I'm walking on hot coals (Ow!)
And it don’t feel good (Hey! Enough now!)
And it don’t feel good (I'll say it I'll say it I'll say it again now)
And it don’t feel good (No more now!)
And it don’t feel good (It don’t, it don’t, it don’t, it don’t, it don’t, it don’t)
Feel good
And it don’t feel good
And it don’t feel good
And it don’t feel good
And it don’t feel good
Now it don’t feel good

From The Mind of Merc - Democracy

Sometimes I find my mind wandering over various eclectic topics and occasionally I am inspired to write some of them down. Today I was thinking about democracy.

This is a topic which could be discussed and debated at length so I will try to keep what I have to say succinct and short.

There seems to be an inherent issue with democracy. And to my mind it is that those in power have never truly grasped the concept – either through a lack of intelligence or a surfeit of arrogance.

When it first began to disseminate through society, those in power presumably thought they would be able to control it – through entities such as ‘rotten boroughs’ etc. Consequently those in power continue to fail to adequately and appropriately respond when faced with the voice of the people. They fail to listen to this crucial voice; presumably believing the people will do as their told. This is nothing new but in this modern age with the freedom of information etc it is less practical and less acceptable.

People will not be controlled but they will be heard – particularly in case of injustice and inequality - as has been demonstrated in the past by the suffragettes and by the more recent protests.

Democracy (from its original Greek origins) literally means ‘rule of the commoners’ and it should mean just that. If you are going to institute a democratic government then the voice of the people must be heard – otherwise it contradicts its own existence.

In a true democracy the voice of the people must be heeded and in the modern society cannot be ignored and the best response ultimately as to hear out those disenchanted with the current political paths being taken. If that means accepting that mistakes have been made and taking appropriate action then so be it but persisting with a flawed and unsubstantiated course of action can only lead to disaster.

A dictatorial leader should not be and is not accepted in modern day society. Any attempt to be so can and is being countered if it contravenes basic upheld laws and statutes. One such applicable ‘law’ in the current political situation is the Declaration of Independence which states that "…when a long train of abuses and usurpations…evinces a design to reduce them under absolute despotism, it is their right, it is their duty to throw off such government and provide new guards for their future security." Ergo if a dictatorial leader wants absolute control and attempts to exercise said control in an oppressive way then it is the ‘duty’ of the people to object. To ignore, disregard or, worse, ridicule these objections is tantamount to incitement. Indeed, history suggests that doing so can only result in one outcome – see England 1649, France 1789 and Russia 1917.

However, as John Lennon said “When it gets down to having to use violence, then you are playing the system’s game. The establishment will irritate you – pull your beard, flick your face – to make you fight. Because once they’ve got you violent, then they know how to handle you. The only thing they don’t know how to handle is non-violence and humor.”

Ergo violence is not the answer as by getting violent you give your opponents ammunition, you sink to their level and you play their game. But likewise neither is arrogance, ignorance or disregard of widely held standpoints the solution.

In the end, ears must be open, all voices must be heard and only then can true co-operation take place and democracy truly exist and succeed.

If - !!!NEW!!!

I found a brilliant alternative version of Rudyard Kipling’s renowned poem ‘If’ today (here) and decided that, as with the original, it should rhyme.

'If' not by Rudyard Kipling
If you can start the day without caffeine, 

If you can be cheerful, ignoring aches and pains,
If you can resist complaining and expounding on your spleen,
If you can eat the same food everyday however plain,
If you can understand when loved ones have other commitments,
If you can overlook being the victim of people’s conceit,
If you can take criticism and blame without resentment,
If you can face the world without lies and deceit,
If you can conquer tension without medical might,
If you can relax without alcoholic whet
If you can sleep soundly every night,
Then you are probably the family pet

I Have A Plan - !!!NEW!!!

Today a re-imagining of the Mamma Mia classic 'I Have A Dream' as if written by the original Ghostbusters when facing Gozer atop the skyscraper. Enjoy!

I Have A Dream I Have A Plan not by ABBA

I have a plan, a way to win

To tell you how I have to sing
If you see what I see standing way up there
You might think that we can’t defeat this nightmare
I believe in teamwork
Something that has gotten us to this
I believe in teamwork
And it’s now important we don’t miss
We'll cross the streams – to save the team

I have a plan, it’s plain to see
To help us save reality
And the world’s salvation makes it all worthwhile
Defeating this danger doing so in style
I believe in teamwork
Something that has gotten us to this
I believe in teamwork
And it’s now important we don’t miss
We’ll cross the streams – to save the team
We’ll cross the streams – to save the team

I have a plan, a way to win
To tell you how I have to sing
If you see what I see standing way up there
You might think that we can’t defeat this nightmare
I believe in teamwork
Something that has gotten us to this
I believe in teamwork
And it’s now important we don’t miss
We'll cross the streams – to save the team
We’ll cross the streams – to save the team

It's Beginning To Look A Lot Like Gridlock - !!!NEW!!!

Inspired to write this while looking out of my window between Christmas and New Year. Still applicable given the work commute is now resuming.

It’s Beginning To Look A Lot Like Christmas Gridlock not by Meredith Wilson

It’s beginning to look a lot like gridlock

Everywhere you go

Take a look at the M-2-5 – it's been clogged up since 5

With closed down lanes and no spare trains - oh no

It's beginning to look a lot like gridlock
Cars and trucks galore
And the one thing you want to see, is the roadway that will lead
To your own front door

A job that for you it pays at home just to stay
Is the wish you make now and then
You know that it’s silly but as it’s so chilly

You wish it again and again

‘Cause then you wouldn’t have to leave the house at oh-four-ten (04:10)

It's beginning to look a lot like gridlock
Everywhere you go
There's a queue on the next slip road, (‘cause) someone needed a tow
The pick-up truck’s caused this back-up, you know

It's beginning to look a lot like gridlock
Soon the honkings starts
And the thing that makes it complete, is the feeling it will repeat
When tomorrow starts

It's beginning to look a lot like gridlock
Soon the honkings starts
And the thing that makes it complete, is the feeling/knowing it will repeat
When tomorrow starts

It's beginning to look a lot like gridlock, gridlock, gridlock, gridlock, gridlock.