I found a brilliant alternative
version of Rudyard Kipling’s renowned poem ‘If’ today (here) and decided that,
as with the original, it should rhyme.
'If' not by Rudyard Kipling
If you can start the day without caffeine,
'If' not by Rudyard Kipling
If you can start the day without caffeine,
If you can be cheerful, ignoring aches and pains,
If you can resist complaining and expounding on your spleen,
If you can eat the same food everyday however plain,
If you can understand when loved ones have other commitments,
If you can overlook being the victim of people’s conceit,
If you can take criticism and blame without resentment,
If you can face the world without lies and deceit,
If you can conquer tension without medical might,
If you can relax without alcoholic whet
If you can sleep soundly every night,
Then you are probably the family pet
If you can resist complaining and expounding on your spleen,
If you can eat the same food everyday however plain,
If you can understand when loved ones have other commitments,
If you can overlook being the victim of people’s conceit,
If you can take criticism and blame without resentment,
If you can face the world without lies and deceit,
If you can conquer tension without medical might,
If you can relax without alcoholic whet
If you can sleep soundly every night,
Then you are probably the family pet
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