Game of Thrones Advent Calendar - 5

Door number 5:

Game of Thrones Advent Calendar - 4

Door number 4:

Game of Thrones Advent Calendar - 3

Door number 3:

Game of Thrones Advent Calendar - 2

Door number 2:

Game of Thrones Advent Calendar - 1

Two years ago on my tumblr blog (http://www.tumblr.com/blog/theladymercedes) I did an advent calendar of Doctor Who captions. Last year, with all the buzz about the upcoming episodes of Sherlock, I turned my attentions and captioning skills to another of Steven Moffat's shows. This year my focus is Game of Thrones.

So here we go with door number 1:

From the Mind of Merc - Shakespeare

Sometimes I find my mind wandering over various eclectic topics and occasionally I am inspired to write some of them down. Today I was thinking about the question of Shakespeare's authorship.

Ok – this issue is a real bugbear with me – the main crux of the matter seems to be that people don't believe that a tanner's son from Stratford could be capable of writing such beautiful works. Sorry but that's like saying a butcher's son can't become the second most powerful man in Tudor England (see Cardinal Wolsey) or that a greengrocer's daughter can't become the first female prime minister (see Thatcher).

Also, despite what many people think, Shakespeare was educated and could write (how else would we have the 6 surviving signatures of his) and ultimately all you need to write is a writing tool and a writing surface.

To get down to it, the main alternatives suggested by the conspiracy theorists include:

1) Christopher Marlowe – it is theorised that he passed off his works to the young man from Stratford after his espionage activities forced him to fake his own death. Excuse me? This is not James Bond. Marlowe was killed, tragic and unfortunate but all the same plain and simple. Shakespeare may have known and certainly would have heard of him but take credit for his work? Even if Marlowe had faked his death, what's to stop his associates producing later work as 'newly discovered'?

2) Earl of Oxford – who is vehemently proposed as the true author of Shakespeare's works to the point that his main advocate cannot even begin to comprehend how anyone could consider anything else. Well I could and here's why – Oxford died in 1604 – that is 7 years before The Tempest (Shakespeare's final play) was written – this is either an extremely clever trick that all modern magicians could learn from or it is in fact proof of the absurdity of this suggestion.

3) Bacon – a noted scientist and writer who travelled to many of the places mentioned in Shakespeare's works. Aside from the question of if he had plenty of works to his own name why exactly would he pass any to another, the fact that he travelled, rather than providing proof of his authorship, in fact counters it as there are several (geographical) mistakes made in Shakespeare's works which someone who had been to those countries would not have made.

(There is an additional theory that the longest word in Shakespeare's works – honorificabilitudinitatibus - when rearranged spells out a latin phrase which translates as “These plays, F. Bacon’s offspring, are preserved for the world” - what a lovely COINCIDENCE. Please – play word games if you wish but don't for one moment suggest that they provide conclusive proof to doubt the validity of Shakespeare's authorship).

Now I'm not claiming that Shakespeare was a genius (I'll leave that to the BBC) or that he was entirely original (see the tragedy of Romeus and Juliet), I just resent the doubt placed on Shakespeare's authorship of his own works.

Finally, for me, the deciding point in the debate – the one that completely dismisses all other possibilities is that during his lifetime EVERYONE SAID SHAKESPEARE WROTE THEM – particularly his friends like Ben Jonson - but also his rivals. The first doubter of Shakespeare's authorship didn't appear until over 100 years after Shakespeare's death(!) which to me kind of suggests that there wasn't ever a question to be asked in the first place.

So overall I think it makes for a nice conspiracy theory but on closer inspection doesn't hold water for one second and in fact is little more than a spurious and highly insulting attempt/blight on Shakespeare's name and achievements.

So let's stop casting aspersions on him and HIS works and start returning to him the credit and acclaim he has rightly earned.

Well done, Will. Well done.

This if course only a brief summary of the main aspects of the case but those interested in the points above would be well advised to look into the matter and form your own conclusions.

The Boar's Head - !!!NEW!!!

A well-known olden time ballad is ‘The Boar’s Head Carol’ and having recently seen Henry IV and noticing the similarity in the name of the carol and the name of the inn I started wondering what it would sound like if Falstaff were to turn it into a song about his favourite watering hole.

The Boar’s Head (Inn) Carol

The Boar’s Head to drink go I

Because that’s where the Prince I’ll see

And I pray you good Bardolph be merry

Quaff plenty of the old vino

Come on fellows don’t be slow

Quaff plenty of the old vino

Come on fellows don’t be slow

Quaff plenty of the old vino

Our hostess Mistress Quickly is

I’ll honour her with one quick kiss

Because life is short remember this

And don’t place faith in honour so

Come on fellows don’t be slow

Quaff plenty of the old vino

Come on fellows don’t be slow

Quaff plenty of the old vino

The Boar’s Head as I understand

Is the best tavern in all the land

When you’ve a cup of sack in hand

There’s not far wrong that you can go

Loudly say it’s so Loudly say it’s so

Say it’s so

Come on fellows don’t be slow

Quaff plenty of the old vino

My Tamara - !!!NEW!!!

Been watching Tamara Drewe. And for some reason I couldn't seem to get the tune for The Knack's 'My Sharona' out of my head...

My Sharona My Tamara not by The Knack

Ben:

Oh my little pretty one, pretty one
I like the way you look and sound Tamara
I'm asking please marry me, please marry me
No I'm not on the rebound Tamara

Chorus:

Look who's come back home, on her own
Such a pretty girl, look at how she's grown
And how she affects our small world
My my my i yi woo
My my my my Tamara

Nicholas:

Hello and how are you huh, how are you huh,
So you want to be in my arms Tamara
Thought that you were over me over me
Knew you couldn't resist my charms Tamara

Chorus:

Look who's come back home, on her own
Such a pretty girl, look at how she's grown
And how she affects our small world
My my my i yi woo
My my my my Tamara

Andy:

Please don't forget about me
About me
Wanted you for such a long time Tamara
Don't care what you've done you see/, done to me
Because I still want you in my life Tamara

Chorus:

Look who's come back home, on her own
Such a pretty girl, look at how she's grown
And how she affects our small world
My my my i yi woo
My my my my Tamara

MJN Air Alphabet - !!!NEW!!!

On one of my trawls through the internet I happened upon a parody that had been written of the Misogynist’s Alphabet - as performed by Philip Quast - which had, rather aptly been adapted for Inspector Javert (and can be found here) so I decided to do my own Cabin Pressure themed parody:

Cabin Pressure fans take heed
This is how you can now learn your A B Cs...

A is for Abu Dhabi with the Sheikh’s cat.
B is for Boston - watch Leeman fall flat.
C is for Cremona with Hester and Art.
D is for Douz – don’t let Martin start.
E is for Edinburgh ‘cause it's Birling Day.
F is for Fitton where you have to stay.
G is for Gdansk – the orchestra’s set.
And that’s how we begin the MJN Air alphabet.

H is for Helsinki where you’ve Ruth in tow.
I is for Ipswich when Arthur must go.
J is for Johannesburg - won’t get far.
K is for Kuala Lumpur and bar
L is for Limerick - what is in the box?
M is for Molokai and (a) Christmas sock
N is for Newcastle – a job to get.
And thus we carry on the MJN Air alphabet.

O! – St Mary
Imagine all the otters - so hairy!
Talisker and polar bears we don’t lack,
Trav’lling to Paris (or) Qiki-tarry-jack.
Rotterdam then
Saint Petersburg - will Gerti fly again?

T is for Timbuktu but just where is that?
U is for Uskerty - bring a sheep back.
V is for Vaduz - Princess finds her man.
After Vaduz, we get Wokingham!
X is for Xinzhou where the crew all must stay.
Y is for Yverdon-Les-Bains - don’t say.
Z is for Zurich you hear and regret.
‘Cause that’s how we conclude the MJN Air alphabet.

Endeavour's My Name - !!!NEW!!!

In case you haven't heard, a third series of Morse prequel 'Endeavour' has been commissioned. This deserves a parody song:

Fame (Endeavour's My) Name not by Irene Cara

Thursday, heed to me
I’ll tell you what I see
You know I can work it all out
Give me time I'll make you forget your doubt

I know I am right
Want you to see the light
I will catch the crook with red hands
Don't forget who I am

Endeavour’s my name, name

I'm gonna solve the crime now
I'm gonna work out why it’s done
I’ll help you find out who and how
Narrow it all down to one, name

I'm gonna work out all the clues
Lead us to the culprit’s name, name
With me you know you can’t lose
Thursday, Endeavour’s my name

Endeavour, Endeavour
Endeavour, Endeavour
Endeavour, Endeavour
Endeavour, Endeavour

Thursday, please don’t sigh
Don’t heed their alibi
Don’t listen to those of high rank
Help me out and you know I’ll give you thanks

Thursday, I am tough
DC is not enough
I can outsmart poor Peter Jakes
Yes, I’ve got what it takes

I'm gonna solve the crime now
I'm gonna work out why it’s done
I’ll help you find out who and how
Narrow it all down to one, name

I'm gonna work out all the clues
Lead us to the culprit’s name, name
With me you know you can’t lose
Thursday, Endeavour’s my name