Monday 30 November 2015

From The Mind of Merc - The Doctor's Names

Sometimes I find my mind wandering over various eclectic topics and occasionally I am inspired to write some of them down. Today I was thinking about the hidden meanings in Doctor Who and, more specifically, those buried in the names given to characters in the show. (Warning: may contain spoilers)

This first occurred to me with the naming of the Runaway Bride – Donna Noble. The name ‘Donna’ literally means ‘Lady’ so ‘Donna Noble’ is a noble lady which – as demonstrated in her later episodes – is shown to be the case as she is (revealed to be) one of the most important people on the planet.

I then started looking at the other names of the companions in the series:

Rose Tyler – ‘Rose’ being a beautiful, stereotypically English, flower (appropriate given she is the one who the Doctor could arguably have been said to have fallen in love with). And ‘Tyler’ – a common labourer’s profession (appropriate for the child of a London estate – casting no aspersions).

Martha Jones – the name ‘Martha’ also means ‘lady’ and, with  ‘Jones’ being a common surname, she could be said to be a ‘Common Lady’ but, as she was selected by the Doctor, also special.

Astrid Peth – generally accepted as being an anagram of TARDIS, the name ‘Astrid’ means ‘divine strength’ – which she undoubtedly found both to defeat Max Capricorn and also in her reincarnation at the end of the episode.
   
The importance of names in Doctor Who becomes even more apparent in Steven Moffat’s era with ‘River Song’ transpiring to be a play on the name of ‘Melody Pond’. (Although, admittedly, this is more to do with the connotations of the word than the meaning of the name.) But the name ‘Amelia’ means ‘industrious’ (appropriate for a Doctor’s companion) and the name ‘Amy’ means ‘beloved’ which she certainly is – particularly by Rory. 

Then, bringing things bang up to date, we have Clara Oswald – ‘Clara’ meaning ‘clear’ or ‘bright’ – both appropriate for a teacher and ‘Oswald’ meaning ‘Power of God’ (which Clara could be said to have at several points throughout the series)

I will undoubtedly be watching keenly and be eager to know the moniker bestowed on his next companion and what this could infer...

Tuesday 24 November 2015

A Question of Antiquity - Mercorabilia

Today a sketch inspired by my recent trip to the souvenir cabin; using items you could quite possibly find in Del Boy's lock-up.

Presenter: And here at the Antiques Roadshow we’ve got a man with quite an unusual collection of antiques. Hello, sir.
Punter: Good morning.
Presenter: Would you care to tell us a little about your items?
Punter: Certainly. Well, over here I’ve got an authentic Queen Anne hand-carved chair. As you can see it’s got an upholstered seat and back and the distinctive curved legs...
Presenter: With plastic arms.
Punter: Yes, very advanced those carpenters.
Presenter: Hmm.
Punter: And over here I have an antique Roman wristwatch.
Presenter: A ROMAN wristwatch?
Punter: Yes. You can tell it’s Roman from the numerals on the dial. And this is a genuine Elizabethan torch.
Presenter: Oh, well I guess they did sort of have torches in the Elizabethan age. Like you see in treasure hunter films.
Punter: Exactly. And all you need to do to operate it is press the switch on the side.
Presenter: (dubiously) Right. If it’s Elizabethan, why does it say Duracell on the side?
Punter: No – that’s D’Uracelle – a well-known Elizabethan family – famous for their inventions.
Presenter: I see. Well, excuse me for saying this but, uh, you don’t actually appear to have any antiques with you.
Punter: What do you mean?
Presenter: Well, it’s all rubbish, isn’t it?
Punter: It is not! I assure you these are all highly-prized and sought after gems. Worth vast amounts of money. And I’ve come here today to get a valuation on them.
Presenter: I’ll give you a fiver for the lot
Punter: Done.

Wednesday 18 November 2015

Expected Etiquette sketch - Mercorabilia

Have you ever noticed how sometimes we ask questions almost automatically - as if we're expecting a set answer? And have you wondered what would happen if we didn't get that set answer...
 
A: Hi, Bill.
B: Hi.
A: Are you alright?
B: Not really. No
A: Sorry?
B: I said - not really, no.
A: Oh.
B: Mmm.
A: I don’t really know what to say now.
B: What do you mean?
A: Well, I wasn’t expecting you to say no, actually.
B: Why not?
A: Well, it’s...not really what’s done, is it?
B: But you asked me how I was.
A: Yes, but you’re not supposed to say no. It’s not what’s expected. When someone asks if you’re alright, you’re supposed to say yes.
B: Even if you’re not.
A: Yes
B: Why?
A: It’s just what you’re supposed to do.
B: Oh. Shall we try again?
A: Ok. Hi, Bill. Are you alright?
B: Yes. I’m fine. Absolutely fine. 100% tiptop. Never been better. Completely and absolutely dandy.
A: You see, now I don’t believe you.

Friday 13 November 2015

Grigor Rasputin - !!!NEW!!!

Getting close to Christmas so here's a Christmassy parody... of sorts. Well, it's inspired by the Muppet Christmas Carol but it's subject is a lot less Christmassy

Ebenezer Scrooge Grigor Rasputin not by The Muppets
A cold winter in Russia
(Can) freeze you to the bone
But that didn’t stop this young
charismatic monk
(From) making a grab for the throne
He thought if he got close to the
Tsarina he would rule
But he didn’t think of
Felix Yusupov
And his Russian noble friends (oh)
Resolute to class
They won’t let it pass
They will make sure his life ends

Oh, what’s happened to Rasputin
What have they done to him
They gave him poisoned wine to drink
He didn’t feel its sting
They fed him poisoned cupcakes too
And gaped as it did nothing
They tried then to shoot him down
But this didn’t work on him

What’s happened to Rasputin
What have they done to him
After he had been shot down then
He was soundly beaten
Even after all of this

He seemed to yet linger on
(Was) Tied up and thrown in a river
To ensure that he was gone

He’d wanted to be rich
He’d wanted some power
But his uncouth ways
Meant that this soon turned sour
He came to the aid of poor young Alexi
You’d think that this selfless feat
would save his life-

Naaaah! uh-uh


What’s happened to Rasputin
What have they done to him
He had the Tsar under his thumb
Who depended on him
He attracted women who flocked ea-
gerly to his steeple
No question of his credentials
No hope for all those people
 

What’s happened to Rasputin
What have they done to him
Didn’t survive
That fateful night
They meant to do him in
Gained the fame he’d craved but did not
look where he did tread
And now at last he’s paid the price
'Cause Rasputin is dead

(Yes) Nowaday
In every way
Rasputin is dead

Friday 6 November 2015

The Manhattan Purchase sketch - Mercorabilia

Not quite sure where the inspiration for this sketch came from. I think I just thought, assuming the myth surrounding the purchase (and sale) of Manhattan Island was true, it could make for an interesting conversation among the vendors.

Indian 1: What you got there?
Indian 2: Wouldn’t you like to know?
Indian 1: Yes I would – that’s why I’m asking.
Indian 2: I’ve got…some beads.
Indian 1: Uh-huh. And where did you get them from?
Indian 2: From those pale people over there. They said I had something they wanted to buy and if I’d sell it to them then in exchange they’d give me these beads.
Indian 1: I see – so it was a business deal. What did you sell them?
Indian 2: Manhattan.
Indian 1: Sorry?
Indian 2: Manhattan.
Indian 1: What? A bit of it? Or…
Indian 2: No – all of it.
Indian 1: All of it. The whole 23 square mile island.
Indian 2: Yup.
Indian 1: You sold the entire island of Manhattan to some strangers in exchange for some beads.
Indian 2: Yes.
Indian 1: And what’s so special about these beads?
Indian 2: Well…they’re beads.
Indian 1: Yes. And?
Indian 2: Well… they’re sparkly?
Indian 1: I see. Don’t you think you might perhaps have made a bit of a poor business deal there? Selling 60 square kilometres of land for a few cheap bits of glass.
Indian 2: Not really.
Indian 1: Why’s that?
Indian 2: Well, because we don’t even own Manhattan anyway(!)

Monday 2 November 2015

From The Mind of Merc - New Ideas

(Note to self: next time I go away for the weekend, remember to take a laptop with me - otherwise blog posts don't get uploaded) Anyway...

Sometimes I find my mind wandering over various eclectic topics and occasionally I am inspired to write some of them down. Today (or, to be more accurate, 2 days ago) I was thinking about peculiar decisions our predecessors have made. This follows along similar lines to my previous questions post but is slightly different as it’s more – how did these seemingly bizarre events become normal to us?

For example: milking a cow– who thought of it first?
It’s such a seemingly innocuous and normal thing to do nowadays. But who was the first person to think ‘See those dangly things hanging underneath that cow over there? I’m going to go and squeeze them and drink whatever comes out’ (And before you think ‘ew’, thanks to that individual, we all do it)

Secondly, eating an egg. Eggs are a good healthy source of protein and used in many different dishes in many different ways. But who could look at a chicken’s bum and think ‘There’s a good source of food’.

Thirdly, tomatoes. For several centuries (even after its introduction to Britain) tomatoes were believed to be poisonous as they are a member of the deadly nightshade family. So what was going on in the mind of the person who decided to eat one? Did they not care? Did they do it for a bet? Were they on death row – their sentence being ‘Death by Tomato’? (If so, I bet the executioner was disappointed).

And finally, whoever thought cigarettes were a good idea?
Basically you take a leaf, crush it up, wrap it in paper, set it on fire(!) and then put it in your mouth. And not only that but you inhale the smoke – what possible harm could that do?
You have to wonder whether the person responsible was really that hard up for entertainment? Was setting fire to them the best thing they could find to do with them? And, if so, why put them in your mouth?
Also, did they experiment with different leaves? Or did they only have tobacco leaves to hand? Had people for years been smoking hawthorn leaves until the miraculous tobacco leaves arrived?

Makes you think...