Expected Etiquette sketch - Mercorabilia

Have you ever noticed how sometimes we ask questions almost automatically - as if we're expecting a set answer? And have you wondered what would happen if we didn't get that set answer...

 

A: Hi, Bill.

B: Hi.

A: Are you alright?

B: Not really. No

A: Sorry?

B: I said - not really, no.

A: Oh.

B: Mmm.

A: I don’t really know what to say now.

B: What do you mean?

A: Well, I wasn’t expecting you to say no, actually.

B: Why not?

A: Well, it’s...not really what’s done, is it?

B: But you asked me how I was.

A: Yes, but you’re not supposed to say no. It’s not what’s expected. When someone asks if you’re alright, you’re supposed to say yes.

B: Even if you’re not.

A: Yes

B: Why?

A: It’s just what you’re supposed to do.

B: Oh. Shall we try again?

A: Ok. Hi, Bill. Are you alright?

B: Yes. I’m fine. Absolutely fine. 100% tiptop. Never been better. Completely and absolutely dandy.

A: You see, now I don’t believe you.