According to recent statistics,
approximately 42% of marriages end in divorce – meaning almost half of the
couples walking blissfully down the aisle will not last.
I have a theory as to why this is:
Firstly, the idea of a ‘perfect’ wedding is
drummed into women from a fairly age and it is epitomised - quite extensively -
as being the only thing a girl could hope or rather aim to achieve. (An
important distinction here being that they are not encouraged to want or look
for a marriage – just a wedding.) Consequently, millions of girls will seek
that ‘one ring’ to please them all solely with the aim of getting their dream
wedding; operating under the implanted delusion that getting married is the
only thing they want, will solve all their problems, will mean they can get all
those wonderful things you find in bride magazines and also get some really
cool presents. (Then reality hits.)
Secondly, divorce is much easier to obtain
nowadays. Back in the 19th century, divorce was only possible in the
event of adultery. Ergo, once you were married – that was it. It was literally
‘til death do you part.
Here’s what I think we should do to combat
this:
1)
Instead of focusing on getting a
wedding, throw a ‘wedding’ party – have a party which includes everything you
would have at your dream wedding but without the vows. Have that special day
without the ‘I do’s. Put all the expense and planning and all you could ever
want on that one special occasion but without binding yourself to someone
you’re not completely committed to. Then a) you won’t rush into a marriage you
don’t actually want just for the sake of getting your dream wedding (as you’ll
already have had it) and b) when you do find someone you want to marry it’ll be
about your relationship and not the ceremony.
2)
Remove irreconcilable differences
as a reason for divorce - it should not be a case of when the going gets tough,
give up. If you don’t think your relationship will last forever, don’t promise
that it will and if you marry in haste, expect (proverbially) to repent at
leisure
Marriage is meant to be a special bond – a
way for two people who are certain that they only want to be with each other
for the rest of their lives to make that commitment to each other. It is not
meant to be an excuse for a party, an opportunity to waste loads of money
showing off to your friends or just ‘your special day’ – it is a special day
but it is not meant to only be a special DAY.
Marriage is meant to be about love for each
other – not lust for material items. If you don’t think you can honestly say
that the person you’re getting married to is the only person you want to be
with for the rest of your life then you shouldn’t say ‘I do’ – if you’re not
happy now then a load of organza, bridal bouquets and toasters is not going to
change that.
Above all, people shouldn’t aim for a
wedding as one of their life goals – by all means you can aim to find the
person you want to spend the rest of your life with (if that’s what you want) –
but not solely aim for a groom.
