Anne Boleympics - Mercorabilia

Today I’ve been playing around with a sketch which I guess owes some inspiration to the Horrible Histories series. Please excuse the terrible pun at the beginning:

Commentator 1: And you join us here today for the final leg of the Anne Boleympics. Up first is the hurdles. She’s under father’s orders. And she’s off. She making good progress so far as she approaches the first hurdle. She’s past Cardinal Wolsey, she’s past Catherine of Aragon, she’s broken through Rome! And she’s on the throne stretch...

Commentator 1: Let’s move across now to the wrestling which is a two person event with her training partner, Henry, and...oh! I’m sorry – it’s appears that event is censored.

Commentator 1: Anyway we’re onto the final event now. The child bearing. A particularly difficult task this one. She’s been working on it for 9 months and let’s go over to Ted now in the confinement chamber and see what she can do. Ted.

Commentator 2: Thank you, Bill. Well, she’s been in the confinement chamber now for quite some time and the crowd are all waiting with baited breath to see how this turns out. I think, yes, I’m being told there are signs that she’s nearing the end of this event. Here it comes... She needs a son to win gold and... oh! And it’s a girl. That’s disappointing. Well better luck next time, Anne. Back to you, Bill.

Commentator 1: Thanks, Ted. And a quick word now with her training partner – Henry. Henry – all that work and only a son to show for it. I’ve no doubt you’re disappointed.

Henry: Of course I am! I had high hopes for that girl and she goes at lets me down just at the crucial moment.

Commentator 1: Well, there’s always another year and who knows maybe next time she’ll make the cut.

Henry: Let’s hope for her sake she doesn’t.