Tongue on Trial sketch - Mercorabilia

And another new sketch! This is pure fantasy investing anthropomorphic qualities in teeth and a tongue to imagine what goes on behind the scenes in a human head and what would happen if one of them got a bit carried away...

<Mumblings and sounds of 'rhubarb' followed by gavel-esque sound which could also be said to sound like a clamping or chomping sound>
Teeth: Mr. Tongue – you are charged with insubordination, neglect of duty and attempted abandonment of post. How do you plead?
Tongue: Not guilty. I don't what all this is about. I reckon you’re all ganging up on me – just because I look different. Just because I'm able to move around a bit…
Teeth: Silence! We will deal with the charges one by one. Firstly – the charge of insubordination.
Tongue: What do you mean by insubordination?
Teeth: While in conversation with another, you came out with several profanities and swear words which caused considerable distress to those around.
Tongue: Well, I was bored. I thought I’d see if anyone was paying attention.
Teeth: Second – the charge of neglect of duty.
Tongue: What’s that mean?
Teeth: That what was in the brain and was intended to be said is not what came out of the mouth. 
Tongue: Oh, that was because I wasn’t paying attention. 
Teeth: What do you mean – you weren't paying attention? What were you doing?
Tongue: I was thinking about how interesting it all looked outside the mouth.
Teeth: Ah, now, this is where we come on to our final point - the charge of attempted abandonment of your post.
Tongue: It’s just it all looks so interesting out there. Haven’t you ever wondered what pavement tastes like?
Teeth: No, of course not. We’re teeth - we don’t taste, we chew - that is our job. And your job is to facilitate speech and digestion. That is your task and nothing else.
Tongue: You can’t stop me.
Teeth: If you attempt to escape again we will clamp down on you with the full force we are able to bear.
Tongue: Rubbish! You can’t stop me. I’m going for it - here I go!
Teeth: Hey! We warned you!
John: Ow! 
Fred: What’s the matter, John?
John: I just bit my tongue.
Fred: That’s a silly thing to do.
John: I didn’t do in purpose!
Fred: Well, who else did it then? It’s not like someone made you do it, is it? 
John: Hmm, I wonder...