The Old Ways Are The Best Sketch - Mercorabilia

A new sketch today and this one, in case you can't guess, is inspired by the truly terrible Tudor medicine that folks in the olden days had to endure.

<Bing>

Receptionist: Mr Smith? The doctor will see you now.

Mr Smith: Oh, thank you.

<Door opens and closes>

Mr Smith Hello.

Doctor: Ah, hello. Do come in. Take a seat. Now what seems to be the problem?

Mr Smith: Well – I seem to be suffering from a bit of gout. It’s getting quite painful.

Doctor: I see – well I think you’re in luck – I’ve got just the thing for that. It’s a mixture of worms, pig’s marrow and herbs all boiled together with a red-haired dog.

Mr Smith: Sounds a bit old-fashioned.

Doctor: Well you know what they say – the old ways are the best.

<Door opens and closes>

Doctor: Ah. Hello! What can I do for you?

RSPCA man: Dr DeVille? We’re from the RSPCA. We’ve had reports of animal cruelty at this surgery.

Doctor: Really? Well I can’t understand that.

RSPCA man: What sort of remedies do you provide here?

Doctor: Oh, we very much focus on the traditional remedies here. You know ones that have been around for centuries. Tried and tested stuff.

RSPCA man: Oh well (cough) that sounds all right (cough). We’ll leave you to it.

Doctor: Hang on. You sound like you’ve got a bit of a cough there. I’ve got just the thing to sort that. Here we are - live spiders in butter.

RSPCA man: Right – that’s it. You’re coming with us.
Doctor: Ah I see a non-believer, eh?