Speech-wrecker sketch (Part 3) - Mercorabilia

Time for another speech wrecker sketch - this one focuses on a famous line from Ridley Scott's Gladiator.

Maximus: My name is Maximus Decimus Meridius, commander of the Armies of the North, General of the Felix Legions and loyal servant to the TRUE emperor, Marcus Aurelius. Father to a murdered son, husband to a murdered wife. And I will have my vengeance, in this life or the next.

Bystander: Umm – excuse me Mr Meridius but what use is it going to be for you to get your vengeance in the next life?

Maximus: What?

Bystander: It sounds good, I’ll grant you. But in the next life, you’ll be dead, as will he. So, really, what is the point? Why don’t you just stab him now and have done with it?

Maximus: But then his guards will kill me.

Bystander: So what? You’ll have had your vengeance and then you can be in the next life – with your murdered son and murdered wife.

Maximus: Good point.

[stabs Commodus]

Commodus: Oh. I did not see that coming.