Who Will Try - !!!NEW!!!

Today the NHS turns 70! And I hope it's still around in 70 years time.

Who Will Buy Who Will Try not from Oliver!
ROSE-SELLER
Who will try to help the nurses? Soon there won’t be any. (Repeat 4 times.)

MILKMAID
Will you try to help resolve our distress? To help resolve our distress?

ROSE-SELLER
Who will try to help the nurses?

MILKMAID
To help resolve our distress?

ROSE-SELLER
Soon there won’t be any.

STRAWBERRY-SELLER
No, can’t let it go! No, can’t let it go!

MILKMAID & STRAWBERRY-SELLER (At same time)
MILKMAID: To help resolve our distress?
STRAWBERRY-SELLER: No, can’t let it go!

ROSE-SELLER
Who will try to help the nurses? 

STRAWBERRY-SELLER
No, can’t let it go!

MILKMAID & KNIFE GRINDER (At same time)
MILKMAID: To help resolve our distress?
KNIFE GRINDER: Now, save it now!

ROSE-SELLER
Who will try?

KNIFE GRINDER
We must save it now

STRAWBERRY-SELLER
No, can’t let it go!

ROSE-SELLER & MILKMAID (At same time)
ROSE-SELLER: Who will try to help the nurses?
MILKMAID: To help resolve our distress?

KNIFE GRINDER & STRAWBERRY-SELLER (At same time)
KNIFE GRINDER: Now, save it now!
STRAWBERRY-SELLER: No, can’t let it go!

ROSE-SELLER, KNIFEGRINDER, MILKMAID, & STRAWBERRY-SELLER
R.S.: Who will try to help the nurses?
KG: We must save it now
MM: To help resolve our distress?
SS: No, can’t let it go!

KNIFEGRINDER
Who will try?

STRAWBERRY-SELLER
Who will try?

MILKMAID
Who will try?

ROSE-SELLER
Who will try?

OLIVER
Who will try to save the NHS?
Did you know it’s now 70!

ROSE-SELLER
Who will try to help the nurses?

OLIVER
We can’t let the government sell it.
No - that would be a travesty!

STRAWBERRY-SELLER
No, can’t let it go!

OLIVER
We need to use it at our leisure
Whenever things go wrong
For we should view it as a treasure
That’s why I sing this song

MILKMAID
To help our distress?

OLIVER
Who will try to save the NHS?
Time is nigh, can’t let it go by

KNIFEGRINDER
Now, save it now!

STRAWBERRY-SELLER
No, can’t let it go!

OLIVER
Me, oh my! We don't want to lose it
So what are we to do
To keep it going through?
We must make sure that people try...

STRAWBERRY-SELLER
Who will try?

KNIFEGRINDER
Who will try?

MILKMAID
Who will try?

ROSE-SELLER
Who will try?

ALL
Who will try?

ALL:
Who will try to save the NHS?
Did you know it’s now 70!
We can’t let the government sell it.
No - that would be a travesty!

Oh no - I am not being funny
Its value’s beyond price
But if we do not find the money
It’ll be gone in a trice

Who will try to save the NHS?
Time is nigh, can’t let it go by
Me, oh my! We don't want to lose it
So what are we to do
To keep it going through?
We must make sure that people try...

WASHING WOMEN
Oh no - I am not being funny
Its value’s beyond price
But if we do not find the money
It’ll be gone in a trice

INSTRUMENTAL

ALL
Who will try to save the NHS?
Time is nigh, can’t let it go by
Me, oh my! We don't want to lose it
So what are we to do
To keep it going through?
It’s simple really we must try...

Try!

From The Mind of Merc - Teenagers

Sometimes I find my mind wandering over various eclectic topics and occasionally I am inspired to write some of them down. Today I was thinking about Teenagers.

One of the most common comments made about teenagers is how ungrateful they are. They are renowned for exhibiting surly, uncooperative, occasionally offensive demeanours that tend to contradict both the characteristics they have previously displayed and also the behaviours desired or expected of them by others.

I have a theory to explain this which I formulated many years ago and have yet to find something to contradict it. This is that I believe teenagers experience a form of amnesia during these ‘formative years’ which results in a considerably altered sense of perception and consequently a dramatic impact on or change in their behaviour. I also believe it may actively block out positive experiences and memories that the individuals have experienced.
One of the main effects of this behaviour would be that teenagers are unable to remember anything that anyone has ever done for them, to help them or that was nice for them – which gives them the impression they have nothing for which to be grateful or thankful. I believe that it may mean they also either cannot recall positive or come to focus on purely negative aspects/experience of/from their life – in turn leading to downcast, reclusive and/or retaliatory demeanours. 
This exclusion of the positive may also mean a developed belief that their current experiences/life are less special than that of which they perhaps have a sense and consequently a resentment forms over the perceived fact that such days are now ‘over’.

I am unsure as to what could be the cause of such a state – my preferred theory is that it is due to a fluctuation in hormones or cerebral chemicals which teenagers experience as part of the developmental changes they undergo during these years. Another possible cause could be the mental or physical stress they go through. They are, after all, going through puberty which could be viewed as a potentially psychologically traumatic time – and they are also faced with sitting exams that will determine their future and consequently possibly any hopes of success in later life. 
Such things may not seem considerable in themselves to older individuals who have a) been through them and come out the other side and/or b) have since experienced incidents of greater or more significant magnitude, stress or effect but for someone with the limited life experience that teenagers possess it must seem, at times, almost insurmountable.

My reasoning for this stems from a moment I remember from my own teenage years where I asked myself what my parents had ever done for me and I honestly could not remember a single thing – not one incident occurred to me where my parents had done something to my benefit or aid. I know that sounds ungrateful and I don’t know why this was the case – particularly as towards the end of my teen years I began to be able to recall examples of my parents magnanimity and sacrifices.
This has led me to believe there is some thing that prevents or obscures the memories of people of teenage years from recalling and appreciating the current (& previous) positive aspects of their lives. Something blocks these positive memories which are crucial to appreciating and creating an accurate idea of their position in the world and in the affections of those around them. This same thing prevents them from realising just how much they mean or how far others would go for them and would consequently give them a sense of isolation, abandonment and increased disconnection – again potentially leading to resentment and consequently reactionary hostility.
As I say, my preferred suggestion as to the cause of this is hormones or some sort of chemical imbalance which is resolved by the time the individual reaches adulthood. 

I sometimes consequently wonder what impact this theory - if it was proved to be correct - would have on the teenage population.
Would it mean a remedial chemical or antidote would be formulated to combat the effects of this amnesia? Would it lead to a greater understanding and therefore acceptance of the emotional fluctuations experienced by and from teenagers? Or would it simply come to be an accepted fact and nothing would change?
Who knows?

Disney Life Hacks #18 – Pocahontas

Continuing my Disney Life Hacks series - those little tricks the Disney stars use to achieve the unlikely, unbelievable and impossible.

Today, Pocahontas shares another top tip:

Nothing At All - !!!NEW!!!

This is probably some sort of sacrilege – I’ve written a parody song of the Greatest Showman showstopper ‘Never Enough’ turning the sentiment of the song on its head so it goes from being about everlasting love to short-lived love. I think the chorus is still pretty powerful.

Never Enough Nothing At All not from The Greatest Showman

I'm starting to move on now
Rebuilding my life
Won’t let myself give in
You seemed like a dream to me
But how I was wrong
Yet I won’t be suffering
I’ve moved on
Will keep going forward
Because now without you

All the days that we spent together
All the times you made seem better
Mean nothing (to) me at all
Nothing (to) me at all
All that we had was hollow and lean
Could promise me the world but you mean
Nothing (to) me at all
Nothing (to) me at all

To me
Nothing, Nothing
Nothing, Nothing
Nothing, to me
To me
Nothing at all
Nothing at all
Nothing at all
To me
To me
To me

All the days that we spent together
All the times you made seem better
Mean nothing (to) me at all
Nothing (to) me at all
All that we were will now go unseen
Could promise me the world but you mean
Nothing (to) me at all
Nothing (to) me at all

To me
Nothing, Nothing
Nothing, Nothing
Nothing, to me
To me
Nothing at all
Nothing, Nothing
Nothing at all
Nothing, Nothing
Nothing at all
To me
To me
To me

To me

From The Mind of Merc - Waste Not

Sometimes I find my mind wandering over various eclectic topics and occasionally I am inspired to write some of them down. Today I was thinking about the Great Pacific Garbage Patch.

If you’re not familiar with this, it’s an area in the Pacific Ocean which, due to currents, has become a resting place for 1.8 trillion bits of plastic waste. This ‘island’ (as it has become) is now TWICE THE SIZE OF FRANCE! I don’t know about you but frankly I find this disgusting.

I am not saying I’m a saint with regard to disposing of plastic products but I have been galvanised into finding ways to help simply because, in this instance, ignorance is not bliss and doing nothing should not be an option.

In an effort to facilitate this, and for those also interested in taking action, I have gathered a selection of websites below which advocate, advise and support various ways to work towards combating the plastic waste problem.

First there are ways of decreasing waste generally:

- https://www.mnn.com/lifestyle/responsible-living/stories/16-simple-ways-reduce-plastic-waste

- https://www.treehugger.com/green-home/11-easy-ways-reduce-your-plastic-waste-today.html

Then, if the plastic products haven’t been avoided, there are many interesting and inventive ways to reuse then rather than refuse them:

- http://amerisouthrecycling.com/ways-to-recycle-plastic/

- https://www.boredpanda.com/plastic-bottle-recycling-ideas/

- https://www.wikihow.com/Recycle-Old-Plastic-Bags

- http://www.rustandsunshine.com/2012/04/shrinky-bracelet.html?m=1

- http://theconversation.com/the-good-news-about-plastic-waste-83742

And there are also companies who have come up with waste resolving solutions which you can support:

- https://4ocean.com/ https://4ocean.com/products/4ocean-bracelet

- https://www.fastcompany.com/40486883/these-diy-machines-let-anyone-recycle-plastic-into-new-products

WASTE NOT!

If you’d like more information about the patch itself, Wikipedia is a good start https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Great_Pacific_garbage_patch

Cabin (Pressure) Fever - !!!NEW!!!

I was fortunate enough to attend John Finnemore's Flying Visit to Brighton on Thursday and it's inspired me to pen a new Cabin Pressure-themed song.

Cabin (Pressure) Fever not by The Muppets
It’s been 10 years since it first started

4 years since we had a show

It’s true – I am addicted. I love Cabin Pressure!

I love it too!

I love Cabin Pressure so much I cannot say
I love Cabin Pressure it always makes my day
We love Cabin Pressure, for us there is no other
Don’t say there’s one, that is more fun, it’s just not worth the bother

Finnemore!
We want, we want more
Yes - we want, we want, more - more shows
We want, we want more
Yes - we want, we want, more - more shows

We love Cabin Pressure - ev’ry single minute
We love Cabin Pressure – wish we were in it

Can you smell smoke in the flightdeck
Might need a fire truck
Microwave wine to save some time
Mind the sugar brick
Otters (to the) left, Otters (to the) right
We love those little guys
Don’t ask what is in the rice
It spoils the surprise

We love Cabin Pressure – no way we’ll recant
It’s so inspiring and inventive and it’s brilliant!

Regardez vous le bear polar
(Golf-tango-india)
Shout Hey Chief and find the lemon
Look – a yellow car!
(Golf-tango-india)

We were list-ning, list-ning- every single time
It was sublime

I love Cabin Pressure
It always had me gripped
Sometimes I find I dream that
There is another script
Wow!

They could take me from Abu Dhabi
On to Ottery St Mary
We’d go by Helsinki

Cabin Pressure has all us in its thrall
So sad to think it might gone we can’t function at all
We were list-ning, list-ning to MJN Air
And now that it’s not here
We're not all there!

Cabin Pressure – yeah!

Disney Life Hacks #17 - Mulan

Continuing my Disney Life Hacks series today - those little tricks the Disney stars use to achieve the unlikely, unbelievable and impossible.

Today, Mulan shares another of her top tips:

From The Mind of Merc - Truth In Jest

Sometimes I find my mind wandering over various eclectic topics and occasionally I am inspired to write some of them down. Today I was thinking about this photo I found on the internet. Maybe Mossop & Keanrick knew what they were talking about after all.

Disney Life Hacks #16 - Ariel

Continuing my Disney Life Hacks series today - those little tricks the Disney stars use to achieve the unlikely, unbelievable and impossible.

Today, Ariel shares another of her top tips:

Hitler sketch - Mercorabilia

Apologies to John Finnemore for this one. It's inspired by his absolutely (as Arthur Shappey would say) BRILLIANT Herod sketch with a twist that occurred to me when one of the key lines popped into my head the other day. I hope you like it and are not too offended.
(I would just like to say that I am not trying to belittle or mock the terrible events that constituted the Holocaust or the Final Solution - more to ridicule the fatuous and nonsensical decisions and leaders behind it - Never Again)

Himmler: Morning, Oh Great Hitler - our mighty leader, fount of all wisdom, master of my destiny, before whom I am as the putz before the putsch. Oh hallowed Chancellor from w-

Hitler: Yes alright, Heinrich. We can dispense with the formalities.

Himmler: As you wish, mein Fuhrer. How can I be of assistance?

Hitler: Well, I’ve just had a rather odd dinner with three ministers who were passing through.

Himmler: Oh, yes? And which ones would they be?

Hitler: I don’t think I caught their names - they were just three passing ministers.

Himmler: Bit odd.

Hitler: I thought that. They said something rather worrying - we were talking about this and that and I happened to notice they had quite a lot of artwork with them and you know how I like art.

Himmler: Oh yes, majesty. You’re an artaholic.

Hitler: Haha. I really am. So I - you know - hinted I’d quite like a painting. And this chap said he was sorry but it was a present for a friend’s bar mitzvah. And anyway - to cut a long story short - it turns out they wanted to let me know that the war’s not going too well for the Axis powers.

Himmler: Ah.

Hitler: And I’m the leader of Germany.

Himmler: Indeed you are.

Hitler: Which is the main part of the Axis powers. So this will look very very bad for me.

Himmler: Well, if that’s the case.

Hitler: Hmm.

Himmler: Doesn’t mean it’s true though, does it? I point out you only have these men’s word for it even if they are in fact ministers. I really don’t think it’s anything to worry about.

Hitler: Hmm. I’m going to kill all the Jews in Europe and say it’s their fault.

Himmler: Well, that’s one way we could go - yes.

Hitler: So the first thing we’re going to need is quite a lot of men with brown shirts…

Himmler: Can I just recap – there’s a possibility the war’s going badly for us and this will make you look bad so we should kill all the Jews in Europe.

Hitler: Yes.

Himmler: And we’re not worried that might be a bit of an overreaction.

Hitler: Well, we don’t want these Jews causing even more trouble, do we?

Himmler: No, no, good point. Do we think it’s actually down to the Jews?

Hitler: Well, we can’t be too careful.

Himmler: I just wonder, sire, if there’s a slightly less genocidal solution to the problem. Like maybe reviewing our political strategies to identify weaknesses we can improve.

Hitler: No, I see where you’re coming from but I think I’ll stick with killing all the Jews – it’s just easier.

Himmler: I’m not sure it will be easier actually. I wouldn’t surprised if people were really quite cheeky about hiding their friends or running away from Europe. I mean they all respect you, oh great Fuhrer, but you know how funny people get. And it occurs to me that if we do… kill all the Jews but the progress of the war still doesn’t improve and in fact starts going even worse for us we’re going to be left with pretty red faces. And a lot of dead Jews. It’s going to be something of a public relations nightmare.

Hitler: I understand all that but I really think I need to go with my gut instinct on this one. I mean, losing the war? That would be really annoying.

Himmler: Ok. As it happens, mein Fuhrer, the wife and I live in Berlin.

Hitler: Oh, yes?

Himmler: Mmm. And strangely enough her cousin practices a different faith.

Hitler: Oh really? What religion is he?

Himmler: Jewish

Hitler: Oh, dear. I am sorry.

Himmler: Yes. The thing is I’m reasonably certain he’s not the cause of all Germany’s problems. And I’m absolutely certain he’s not affecting the outcome of the war by being Jewish.

Hitler: No, I believe you - of course I do - but we can’t be seen to be making exceptions. That would make us very unpopular.

Himmler: You know, I can’t help wondering, mein Fuhrer, if this actually less to do with the possible crisis that is possibly being caused by the Jews that some unidentified ministers told you about and more to do with getting back at them for being richer than you when you lived in Paris.

Hitler: Well, I couldn’t possibly comment but maybe next time they’ll remember who’s the sodding Fuhrer!