Almost There - !!!NEW!!!

Less than a month til (hopefully) the end of the COVID restrictions. That deserves a song.

Almost There not by Anika Noni Rose 
Woohoo! We are nearly through it all!
We have had to wait such a long while
After all the messing around
It’s been such a trial 

Summer’s here and we can cheer
Because now the end is in sight
And despite how long we have had to wait
We’re getting closer and closer day and night

And we’re almost there
We’re almost there
No more stay at home restrictions
For us to bear
Trials and tribulations
We’ve had our share
But hopefully nothing stops us now
'Cause we’re almost there

We remember 2019
When we could all go out
See all our friends and family
Without a single doubt

For far too long we have been in its sway
Now finally we are on our way
By doing what we’re told
To ensure the spread’s controlled

And we’re almost there
We’re almost there
We know that there’s no need for despair
‘Cause we’re almost there
We’re almost there 

There's been trials and tribulations
We know we’ve had my share
But we’ve lasted this long
And we’ll make it through
‘Cause we’re almost there
We’re almost there
We’re almost there!

The Waitress and the Frog sketch - Mercorabilia

Today another alternative ending to a Disney classic. This time Tiana uses some common legal sense to prevent disappointment... and considerably shortens the running time of the film.

Tiana: Everything looks peachy-keen, Mr Fenner and Mr Fenner.

Mr Fenner 1: We’ll have all the paperwork ready to sign, first thing after Mardi Gras.

Tiana: I’ll do you one better. Why don’t we put something on paper now so you can’t go and signed the place out from under me.

Mr Fenner 1: Oh, well, I really don’t think that’s necessary…

Tiana: I insist.

Mr Fenner 2: You drive a hard bargain, Tiana.

(Mr Fenner pulls out a piece of paper and drafts a rough contract which he and Tiana both sign. Tiana then pulls the paper out from under them).

Tiana: Pleasure doing business with you.

Mr Fenner 1: Evening, Tiana. Marvellous party.
Tiana: Evening Mr Fenner. And Mr Fenner.
Mr Fenner 2: Fine smelling beignets.
Tiana: Going to be the house specialty once I get my place up and running.
Mr Fenner1 : Yes. About that.
Tiana: What?
Mr Fenner 1: We were wondering… A fellow came in, offered the full amount in cash. 
And we wondered if maybe…
Mr Fenner 2: You’d changed your mind about the place
Tiana: You know how long it took me to save that money?
Mr. Fenner 1: Exactly! Which is why a little woman of your background would have her hands 
full trying to run a big business like that. What do you say?
Tiana: I think not.
(The Messers Fenner exchange glances)
Mr Fenner 1: Are you sure about that?
Tiana: I’m sure.
Mr Fenner 1: Oh, well. No harm in asking.
Mr Fenner 2: Goodbye, Tiana. Love these beignets.
Tiana: Goodbye! What the- Stella!
(The over-excited dog leaps onto the table in pursuit of a frog, causing it to collapse 
– covering Tiana in mess).
Charlotte (approaching): Tia! Time to hit Prince Charming with those man-catching… 
(She sees Tiana) What happened?
Tiana: I… I just…
Charlotte: You poor dear. Oh, Prince Naveen, we’ll be right back, sugar! I got just the dress for you.
(Charlotte helps Tiana upstairs, cleans her up and puts her in a posh dress).
Charlotte: Well, back into the fray. Wish me luck! Oh, Naveen…
(Tiana is about to follow when she spots a frog sat on the dressing table).
Tiana: So what now? I reckon you want a kiss?
Naveen: Kissing would be nice, yes?
(Tiana screams and backs away hurriedly)
Naveen: I’m sorry! I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I did not mean to scare you. Allow me to introduce myself. 
I am Prince Naveen (Tiana hits him with a book) of Maldonia.
Tiana: Yeah, right!
Naveen: Seriously. All I know is one minute I am a prince, charming and handsome, cutting a rug, 
and the next thing I know, I am tripping over these (indicates his webbed feet).
Tiana: So you’re a Frog Prince?
Naveen: Yes, yes, yes! That is exactly the answer! You must kiss me.
Tiana: Look, I’m sorry. I’d really like to help you, but I just do not kiss frogs.
Naveen: But you must kiss me. Look, besides being unbelievably handsome, okay, I also happen to
come from a fabulously wealthy family. Surely I could offer you some type of reward, a wish I could
grant perhaps? Yes?
Tiana: No, thanks. I’m good. Bye!
Naveen: But! 
(Tiana is gone)
Naveen: Now what?
(Naveen hears the commotion outside and looks out. He sees Charlotte dancing with the fake version
of himself while her father watches in his laurel wreath which in Naveen’s eyes turns into a crown)
NAVEEN: Aha! The King of Mardi Gras. Which makes his daughter a princess!
(He hops down and waits for the fake Prince to go get the couple a drink)
NAVEEN: Miss La Bouff! Please, down here! Allow me to introduce myself. I am the real Prince Naveen!
(Charlotte hits him with a book) Of Maldonia.
CHARLOTTE: (GASPS) Did you say "Prince"?
(Naveen explains his predicament)
CHARLOTTE: Goodness gracious. This is so much to absorb. Let me see if I got this right. If I kiss you, 
you will turn human again? And then we're gonna get ourselves married and live happily ever after, the end!
NAVEEN: Yup.
CHARLOTTE: Ok.
(Charlotte kisses Naveen. He is restored to human form. Laurence and Facilier are exposed and attempt 
to make a run for it but are apprehended. Naveen and Charlotte turn to each other).
CHARLOTTE: My prince.
NAVEEN: My princess.
(They kiss again – their clothes transforming into wedding attire – while their guests including Tiana 
and her mother watch and cheer).
TIANA: Come on everybody! Back to mine for the reception!
(Everyone follows Tiana back to ‘Tiana’s Place’ which is finished and open. Tiana bows to her friend 
and her new husband as they enter – they both bow back. The door swings shut behind Tiana.)

Disney Life Hacks #7 - Tiana

A return to my Disney Life Hacks series today - those little tricks the Disney stars use to achieve the unlikely, unbelievable and impossible.

Today, Tiana from Princess and the Frog shares her top tip:

Once Upon A Time Advent Calendar - 17

Door number 17:

From The Mind of Merc - Disney Part 2: Observations

Sometimes I find my mind wandering over various eclectic topics and occasionally I am inspired to write some of them down. Today I was thinking about the plot holes in Disney films. 

This one’s slightly different and it highlights the lack of common sense found in most Disney princesses.

For example:

Princess & the Frog: Why couldn’t Tiana, with all her street smarts, think to say “How about we sign this paperwork for the mill now so it’s legally binding and you can’t sell it out from under me?”

Tangled: Why didn’t either of Rapunzel’s parents or the guards think to say “Hey Maximus, this is Rapunzel’s baby blanket. Got the scent? Fetch!

Pocahontas: Did it slip John Smith’s mind to say “Oh yeah – actually, guys, there’s no gold here.” (Jake Sully take note)

Hunchback of Notre Dame: Had the Archdeacon of Notre Dame taken a vow of silence? “Quasi – your mum was a gypsy and Frollo killed her. He’s the one who’s ashamed of you.”

Enchanted: If Pip could speak before he entered the real world – which is presumably how he communicated to the Prince what had happened to Giselle – why didn’t he add “Btw, your stepmother did it. And I think Nathaniel’s working for her too.”

Sleeping Beauty: How about Aurora’s parents telling her “Hey Aurora, do us a favour and don’t touch any spindles. Because if you do you will die.”

Frozen: Why couldn’t Elsa’s parents think to say “Elsa, your powers are super cool – literally. Never be afraid of them and never hide who you are because that will end badly”

Brave: Or maybe Merida’s mum could have said “Enough with this training stuff – I know you know it – how about some mother-daughter bonding time.” Or “You know what? Even though I’m just the queen I’m pretty powerful in my own right. Why shouldn’t a woman who’s the first born of her clan be the equal of the first born men?”

Lion King: Why couldn’t Simba have thought to tell the others that Scar killed Mufasa.

Cinderella: Why didn’t she think to tell the prince more about her and maybe suggest use something else to find her than her shoe size.

Little Mermaid: Exactly what was it that stopped Ariel WRITING DOWN her name and that she saved Eric? After all, she signed the contract with Ursula so she must be able to write.

Snow White: Why didn’t she think to use all those gems mined by the dwarves to either bribe the queen’s guards and/or buy the queen’s castle

The last four come from the inspiration for this entry - a post I found on Tumblr: http://ethulinda.tumblr.com/post/122501747445/nintendofiend-adventuretimewithlewis