Bear Hunt sketch

Here is the first of April's posts. You can probably guess from the title what the inspiration is. 

Reporter: So you join us today for a very exciting expedition. I’m here with David Nattybarrow the renowned horticultural and nature expert. So tell us, David, what’s the plan for today.
David: Well, today, we’re going on a bear hunt!
Reporter: Really?
David: Yes! And we’re going to catch a big one.
Reporter: Well, I have to say you’ve picked a beautiful day for it.
David: Yep. And we’re confident we’ll succeed – we’re not scared. Right. Let’s go.
Reporter: Ok. This way folks. As I say, it’s a very thrilling trip we’re on today and… oh, we seem to have stopped. Why have we stopped, David?
David: Take a look.
Reporter: Uh oh.
David: Exactly. We seem to have come to some grass. Some long wavy grass.
Reporter: It doesn’t look like we can go over it.
David: No. and we can’t go under it.
Reporter: So what do we do?
David: Well, it looks like we’ll have to go through it.
Reporter: Right. Here we go! I say, this is very very long grass, isn’t it?
David: Yes. But at least we’re through now.
Reporter: Good. So we can continue on our bear hunt
David: Absolutely. And we’re going to catch big one. Did already say that?
Reporter: You might have done.
David: What a beautiful day.
Reporter: And we’re still not scared because… what’s wrong? Why have we stopped? Uh oh.
David: Yes – we’ve come to a river.
Reporter: I say, it does look very deep.
David: And cold.
Reporter: Mmm. And we can’t go over it?
David: No. and we can’t go under it.
Reporter: So…?
David: We’ll have to go through it.
Reporter: Right. Hup!
<splash!>
Reporter: Ooh! It is cold.
David: Yup. But it’s what you run the risk of when you’re going on a bear hunt.
Reporter: And you’re still confident you’re going to catch a big one on this beautiful day.
David: Definitely. We’re not scared. It’s just… uh oh.
Reporter: What?
David: Mud.
Reporter: What?
David: Thick, oozy mud.
Reporter: Oh dear. And we can’t go over it
David: No. And we can’t go under it.
Reporter: Let me guess.
David: Yup. We’ve got to go through it.
Reporter: Right. I say, it is terribly thick mud.
David: Yes. But at least we’re through it now.
Reporter: Yes. Back on the bear hunt.
David: And we’re going to catch a big one.
Reporter: So you said. Lucky it’s still a beautiful day.
David: And it definitely that we’re not scared. Except…
Reporter: What?
David: Well, look there.
Reporter: Uh oh. A forest.
David: Yes. A big, dark forest.
Reporter: Well, I suppose that was to be expected.
David: Yes, but we can’t go over it and we can’t go under it.
Reporter: So…we’ve got to go through it.
David: Yup. So we’d better get. Waah!
Reporter: What happened?
David: I tripped.
Reporter: Oh. Waah!
David: What was that?
Reporter: I tripped too.
David: Phew! Getting a bit risk this bear hunt.
Reporter: But at least you’re going to catch a big one.
David: And it’s such a beautiful day.
Reporter: Even if you couldn’t see it in that forest.
David: Well, even so, we’re not scared. And…uh oh?
Reporter: What is it?
David: A snowstorm.
Reporter: …A snowstorm.
David: Yup.
Reporter: On a bear hunt.
David: It appears so.
Reporter: Is this a polar bear hunt?
David: And it’s a swirling whirling snowstorm.
Reporter: Let me guess – we can’t go over it and we can’t go under it.
David: Nope – we’ve got to go through it.
Reporter: Very weird microclimate this.
David: True. But, as I say, got to expect the unexpected when you’re going on a bear hunt
Reporter: When you’re going to catch a big one
David: Exactly. Even if it seemed like a beautiful day. We’re not scared.
Reporter: Well, at least that’s over. So where are we now?
David: Uh oh.
Reporter: What?
David: A cave.
Reporter: Well, I would have thought that’s what we were looking for, aren’t we?
David: Yes. But it’s a narrow, gloomy cave.
Reporter: So I see. And we can’t go over it.
David: Nope.
Reporter: And we can’t go under it.
David: Not without some heavy digging equipment.
Reporter: So that means…
David: We’ve got to go through it. Come on. But be quiet.
Reporter: Ok. I’ll tiptoe. I say, it is getting very dark in here. You almost can’t see your hand in front of your…
David: Wait! What’s that?
Reporter: What’s what?
David: That there. It looks like… one shiny wet nose.
Reporter: Two big furry ears.
David: Two big googly eyes.
Reporter: It’s a bear!
David: Quick! Run!
Reporter: Run? But I thought you were looking for a…
David: Never mind that now. Back through the cave! Tiptoe! Back through the snowstorm! Blooming heck – that’ s cold. Back through the forest! Waah! Stupid branches. I… Waah! Back through the mud!
Reporter: This’ll never come off my suit.
David: Well, you can wash it off going back through the river! Quick!
Reporter: Ooh! That’s still cold.
David: And you can dry it off going back through the grass! Oh - at last we’re back at the front door. I’ll just open it. Quick get in!
Reporter: But surely the bear’s not going to…
David: Can’t take any chances. Go on! Up the stairs. And… oh no.
Reporter: You  forgot to shut the door.
David: I forgot?
Reporter: Stay here. I’ll just back downstairs to shut the door. Right. Back upstairs. Into the bedroom. Come on, quick!
David: The bedroom?
Reporter: No time to argue – safest place in the whole house.
David: Into the bed.
Reporter: Now hang on – I’m not that kind of reporter.
David: And I’m not that kind of horticulturalist. Trust me, the bed’s the safest place. The bear’ll never find us here.
Reporter: Oh, alright. Well, that was quite an interesting experience.
David: Yes. And I’ll tell you one thing.
Reporter: What.
David: We’re not going on a bear hunt again!