Here is the first of April's posts. You can probably guess from the title what the inspiration is.
Reporter:
So you join us today for a very exciting expedition. I’m here with David
Nattybarrow the renowned horticultural and nature expert. So tell us, David,
what’s the plan for today.
David:
Well, today, we’re going on a bear hunt!
Reporter:
Really?
David:
Yes! And we’re going to catch a big one.
Reporter:
Well, I have to say you’ve picked a beautiful day for it.
David:
Yep. And we’re confident we’ll succeed – we’re not scared. Right. Let’s go.
Reporter:
Ok. This way folks. As I say, it’s a very thrilling trip we’re on today and…
oh, we seem to have stopped. Why have we stopped, David?
David:
Take a look.
Reporter:
Uh oh.
David:
Exactly. We seem to have come to some grass. Some long wavy grass.
Reporter:
It doesn’t look like we can go over it.
David:
No. and we can’t go under it.
Reporter:
So what do we do?
David:
Well, it looks like we’ll have to go through it.
Reporter:
Right. Here we go! I say, this is very very long grass, isn’t it?
David:
Yes. But at least we’re through now.
Reporter:
Good. So we can continue on our bear hunt
David:
Absolutely. And we’re going to catch big one. Did already say that?
Reporter:
You might have done.
David:
What a beautiful day.
Reporter:
And we’re still not scared because… what’s wrong? Why have we stopped? Uh oh.
David:
Yes – we’ve come to a river.
Reporter:
I say, it does look very deep.
David:
And cold.
Reporter:
Mmm. And we can’t go over it?
David:
No. and we can’t go under it.
Reporter:
So…?
David:
We’ll have to go through it.
Reporter:
Right. Hup!
<splash!>
Reporter:
Ooh! It is cold.
David:
Yup. But it’s what you run the risk of when you’re going on a bear hunt.
Reporter:
And you’re still confident you’re going to catch a big one on this beautiful
day.
David:
Definitely. We’re not scared. It’s just… uh oh.
Reporter:
What?
David:
Mud.
Reporter:
What?
David:
Thick, oozy mud.
Reporter:
Oh dear. And we can’t go over it
David:
No. And we can’t go under it.
Reporter:
Let me guess.
David:
Yup. We’ve got to go through it.
Reporter:
Right. I say, it is terribly thick mud.
David:
Yes. But at least we’re through it now.
Reporter:
Yes. Back on the bear hunt.
David:
And we’re going to catch a big one.
Reporter:
So you said. Lucky it’s still a beautiful day.
David:
And it definitely that we’re not scared. Except…
Reporter:
What?
David:
Well, look there.
Reporter:
Uh oh. A forest.
David:
Yes. A big, dark forest.
Reporter:
Well, I suppose that was to be expected.
David:
Yes, but we can’t go over it and we can’t go under it.
Reporter:
So…we’ve got to go through it.
David:
Yup. So we’d better get. Waah!
Reporter:
What happened?
David:
I tripped.
Reporter:
Oh. Waah!
David:
What was that?
Reporter:
I tripped too.
David:
Phew! Getting a bit risk this bear hunt.
Reporter:
But at least you’re going to catch a big one.
David:
And it’s such a beautiful day.
Reporter:
Even if you couldn’t see it in that forest.
David:
Well, even so, we’re not scared. And…uh oh?
Reporter:
What is it?
David:
A snowstorm.
Reporter:
…A snowstorm.
David:
Yup.
Reporter:
On a bear hunt.
David:
It appears so.
Reporter:
Is this a polar bear hunt?
David:
And it’s a swirling whirling snowstorm.
Reporter:
Let me guess – we can’t go over it and we can’t go under it.
David:
Nope – we’ve got to go through it.
Reporter:
Very weird microclimate this.
David:
True. But, as I say, got to expect the unexpected when you’re going on a bear
hunt
Reporter:
When you’re going to catch a big one
David:
Exactly. Even if it seemed like a beautiful day. We’re not scared.
Reporter:
Well, at least that’s over. So where are we now?
David:
Uh oh.
Reporter:
What?
David:
A cave.
Reporter:
Well, I would have thought that’s what we were looking for, aren’t we?
David:
Yes. But it’s a narrow, gloomy cave.
Reporter:
So I see. And we can’t go over it.
David:
Nope.
Reporter:
And we can’t go under it.
David:
Not without some heavy digging equipment.
Reporter:
So that means…
David:
We’ve got to go through it. Come on. But be quiet.
Reporter:
Ok. I’ll tiptoe. I say, it is getting very dark in here. You almost can’t see
your hand in front of your…
David:
Wait! What’s that?
Reporter:
What’s what?
David:
That there. It looks like… one shiny wet nose.
Reporter:
Two big furry ears.
David:
Two big googly eyes.
Reporter:
It’s a bear!
David:
Quick! Run!
Reporter:
Run? But I thought you were looking for a…
David:
Never mind that now. Back through the cave! Tiptoe! Back through the snowstorm!
Blooming heck – that’ s cold. Back through the forest! Waah! Stupid branches.
I… Waah! Back through the mud!
Reporter:
This’ll never come off my suit.
David:
Well, you can wash it off going back through the river! Quick!
Reporter:
Ooh! That’s still cold.
David:
And you can dry it off going back through the grass! Oh - at last we’re back at
the front door. I’ll just open it. Quick get in!
Reporter:
But surely the bear’s not going to…
David:
Can’t take any chances. Go on! Up the stairs. And… oh no.
Reporter:
You forgot to shut the door.
David:
I forgot?
Reporter:
Stay here. I’ll just back downstairs to shut the door. Right. Back upstairs.
Into the bedroom. Come on, quick!
David:
The bedroom?
Reporter:
No time to argue – safest place in the whole house.
David:
Into the bed.
Reporter:
Now hang on – I’m not that kind of reporter.
David:
And I’m not that kind of horticulturalist. Trust me, the bed’s the safest
place. The bear’ll never find us here.
Reporter:
Oh, alright. Well, that was quite an interesting experience.
David:
Yes. And I’ll tell you one thing.
Reporter:
What.
David:
We’re not going on a bear hunt again!
