Friday 28 April 2023

He's a Pussycat sketch - Mercorabilia

Meeting your new boss can always be a stressful and intimidating time. Perhaps more so in a situation like this:

Jack: I have to say I’m still feeling a bit nervous about meeting our new boss.
Jill: Oh you don’t need to worry. He’s a pussycat.
Jack: You keep saying that.
Jill: That’s because it’s true.
Jack: Well, I guess I’ll soon find out here he comes now. Oh.
Jill: There you are.
Jack: Yes, I see what you mean. Er, hello, sir. How are you today?
Boss: Meow.
Jack: I see. Everything going all right is it?
Boss: Meow.
Jack: Good. Good. Well, I won’t keep you. I’m sure you’re very busy.
Boss: Meow.
Jack: Right. You know, when you said he was a pussycat. I didn’t realise you meant… an actual pussycat.
Jill: What did you think I meant?
Jack: Well, you know, it’s a saying, isn’t it? Like he’s really easy to get on with. He’s a pussycat.
Jill: But he is a pussycat.
Jack: I know that… now. Although to be honest if I had known he was an actual cat I don’t know if I’d have felt any more reassured.
Jill: Why not?
Jack: Well, it’s a bit unnerving isn’t it meeting a 6 foot semi-human moggy. Plus not all cats are pussycats, are they?
Jill: What do you mean?
Jack: Well, some of them can be a bit vicious. And they’ve got claws. I mean, just look at him. What is he doing now? It looks like he’s choking.
Jill: I expect it’s just a hairball.
Jack: But it’s disgusting!
Boss: <Hissss!>
Jill: I think he heard you.
Jack: Oops. Sorry, sir. Didn’t mean it. Just… carry on.
Boss: <Growls>
Jack: That was a close one.
Jill: I think you’d better watch what you say from now on.
Jack: Absolutely – cat’s got my tongue.
Boss: <Hiss>
Jack: Sorry.
Jill: I think you’re fired.

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