Saturday 29 February 2020

From The Mind of Merc - February 29th


Sometimes I find my mind wandering over various eclectic topics ad occasionally I am inspired to write some of them down. Today I was thinking about 29th February – it’s an interesting date. But just how interesting? What interesting things have happened on or because of this interesting phenomenon?

Let’s start with the basics – why is there a 29th February?
Well, although most modern calendar years have 365 days, a complete revolution around the Sun (one solar year) actually takes approximately 365 days and 6 hours so an extra 24 hours thus accumulates every four years

Leaplings
This is the name given to those born on February 29th who, technically, only advance in age by 1 year every 4 years.
However, in the United Kingdom, when a person born on February 29 turns 18, they are considered to have their birthday on March 1 in the relevant year.

Some famous Leaplings include:
·         1468 – Pope Paul III (d. 1549)
·         1792 – Gioachino Rossini, Italian pianist and composer (d. 1868)
·         1916Dinah Shore, American singer and actress (d. 1994)
·         1928Joss Ackland, English actor
·         1944Dennis Farina, American police officer and actor (d. 2013)
·         1956Aileen Wuornos, American serial killer (d. 2002)

There have also been some unfortunate people who have passed away on February 29th, including:
·         1528 – Patrick Hamilton, Scottish Protestant reformer and martyr (b. 1504)
·         1792 – Johann Andreas Stein, German piano builder (b. 1728)
·         1868 – Ludwig I of Bavaria (b. 1786)
·         2012Davy Jones, English singer, guitarist and actor (b. 1945)

In Gilbert and Sullivan's The Pirates of Penzance, the character Frederic was apprenticed to a band of pirates until his 21st birthday. Having passed his 21st year, he leaves the pirate band and falls in love. However, since he was born on February 29, his 21st birthday will not arrive until he is eighty-eight (since 1900 was not a leap year), so he must leave his fiancée and return to the pirates.

Aside from births and deaths, other events that took place on February 29th include:
·         1644 – Abel Tasman's second Pacific voyage began.
·         1712 – February 29 is followed by February 30 in Sweden, in a move to abolish the Swedish calendar for a return to the Julian calendar.
·         1720 – Ulrika Eleonora, Queen of Sweden abdicates in favour of her husband, who becomes King Frederick I on 24 March.
·         1892 – St. Petersburg, Florida is incorporated.
·         1916Child labor: In South Carolina, the minimum working age for factory, mill, and mine workers is raised from twelve to fourteen years old.
·         1920 – Czechoslovak National assembly adopted the Constitution.
·         1940 – For her performance as "Mammy" in Gone with the WindHattie McDaniel becomes the first African American to win an Academy Award.
·         1960 – The 5.7 Mw  Agadir earthquake shakes coastal Morocco with a maximum perceived intensity of X (Extreme), destroying Agadir, and leaving 12,000 dead and another 12,000 injured.
·         1980 – Gordie Howe of the then Hartford Whalers makes NHL history as he scores his 800th goal.
·         1988 – South African archbishop Desmond Tutu is arrested along with 100 other clergymen during a five-day anti-apartheid demonstration in Cape Town.
·         2012 – Tokyo Skytree construction completed. It is, as of January 2020, the tallest tower in the world, 634 meters high, and second tallest artificial structure on Earth, next to Burj Khalifa.

Leap Year traditions
The most famous Leap Year tradition is probably that known as Bachelor's Day which ‘allows’ a woman to propose marriage to a man on February 29. If the man refuses, he then is obliged to give the woman money or buy her a dress or, in some countries, 12 pairs of gloves – supposedly to hide the woman's embarrassment of not having an engagement ring.
The tradition is supposed to have originated in Ireland from a deal that Saint Bridget struck with Saint Patrick.[27][28]
In Greece, it is considered unlucky to marry on a leap day.[31]

So there you have it – some interesting facts about an interesting date.

Friday 28 February 2020

Six Wives Tango - !!!NEW!!!

Can't believe I haven't thought to do this before! It fits so perfectly.


Six Wives Tango not from Chicago 
Pope
Framed
Son
Ja ja
Culpepper
Seymour

And now, the six sorry espouses of King Henry VIII
In their rendition of the Six Wives Tango

Pope, Framed, Son, uh-uh, Culpepper, Seymour
Pope, Framed, Son, uh-uh, Culpepper, Seymour
Pope, Framed, Son, uh-uh, Culpepper, Seymour
Pope, Framed, Son, uh-uh, Culpepper, Seymour

I married Henry
I married Henry
And that was my biggest mistake
I had to do it
But if I blew it
I knew that it was my life at stake

Pope, Framed, Son, uh-uh, Culpepper, Seymour
Pope, Framed, Son, uh-uh, Culpepper, Seymour

Catherine of Aragon:
You know how people have these little husbands that get you down
Like Henry
Henry wanted a son
No, not wanted, craved
So I did the best I could
And I gave him sev’ral children
Although sadly only our daughter Mary lived
And then Henry decided he wanted out, found a new girl he wanted
No, not wanted, craved
But, I said to him, I said "The Pope won’t grant your divorce"
I was right
So he decided to break with Rome
And he set up his own church
And that was that

I married Henry
I married Henry
And that was my biggest mistake
I had to do it
But if I blew it
I knew that it was my life he’d take

Anne Boleyn:
I met Henry VIII when I came to court several years ago
When he was dating my sister
But then he soon he fell for me
So, we started flirting together
Eventually we got wed
And had a baby, our dear daughter
That wasn’t enough
“A son” he told me
“A son or else”
Not only was I (ar)rested
Oh no, he then framed me
Said I’m unfaithful, as if!
Despite how hard I pleaded my case
He’d fixed up the trial beforehand
Did you know the headsman was pre-ordered?

I married Henry
I married Henry
That was my only choice in life
What could I have done?
What could I have won?
If I had not been King Henry’s wife
(Uh-uh, Culpepper, Seymour)

Jane Seymour:
Now, I'm newly wed to Henry
Used to be lady-in-waiting
Not that my family complains
In comes my darling husband in a loved-up mood
"I must have a son and heir, " he says
He was obsessed
And he kept on saying
"I must have a son and heir"
And at last I gave him a son
Gave him a son but then I died

I had to do it
But if I blew it
I knew that it was my life at stake

Anne of Cleves:
I kann nicht verstand               
Ich nach England gekommen auf Einladung
Zur die neuen Königin gemacht werden         
Der König und ich waren verheiratet
Und er mir küsste
Aber dann er gesagte das ich bin                   
Nicht seine Frau         
Er wollte mich loswerden, damit er ken seine neue Freundin gehaben          
Und sehr schnell
Ich war die Möglichkeit einer einvernehmlichen Scheidung gegeben
So, tell - did you do it?
Ja ja, King’s Sister!*

Catherine Howard:
The house where I grew up was not exactly that discreet
But I learnt an awful lot about men late at night
Then the king’s eye alighted on me
And when he finalised his last divorce we were wed
One, two, three, four, five, that’s right - fifth wife
I knew the score
Just like every other
But then one year Henry went off all on his own to Dover without me
So then I was lonely
All on my lonesome
And then I heard a noise
Someone knocking to get in
I got up, opened the door
And there's that handsome Tom Culpepper
Pledging me his devotion
And I folded
Well, when Henry found out about it
He completely flipped out, couldn’t believe it of me
It wasn't until later
When I was imprisoned inside the Tower
I realised it cost my head

I married Henry (She married Henry)
I married Henry (She married Henry)
You wouldn’t think that that was wrong
But it was fatal (yes it was fatal)
He’s so unstable (he’s so unstable)
Which I did find out before too long

I married Henry (She married Henry)
I married Henry (She married Henry)
You wouldn’t think that that was wrong (It was her only choice in life)
But it was fatal (What could she have done)
He’s so unstable
Which I did find out before too long

Catherine Parr:
I loved Tom Seymour
More than I can possibly say
He was a real romantic guy
Ambitious, a courtier
But then Henry’s greedy eye fell upon me
And he decided to take me for himself
Yet despite this
I came this
close
to being
beheaded
I managed to change the king’s mind
And he cancelled my arrest warrant
And once Henry wasn’t alive
Then Tom and I wed

All down to him, him, him, him, him
All down to him, him, him, him, him

I married Henry (She married Henry)
I married Henry (She married Henry)
You wouldn’t think that that was wrong
But it was fatal (yes it was fatal)
He’s so unstable (he’s so unstable)
Which I did find out before too long

I married Henry (She married Henry)
I married Henry (She married Henry)
And that was my biggest mistake
I had to do it (She had to do it)
But if I blew it (but if she blew it)
I knew that it was my life at stake

The Pope won’t grant your divorce!
A son or else
I died!
Er wollte mich loswerden
His devotion and I folded
Cancelled my arrest warrant

Pope
Framed
Son
Ja ja
Culpepper
Seymour

*In case you're wondering, Anne of Cleves verse roughly translates as:
I can't understand
I came to England by invitation

To be made the new queen

The king and I were married
And he kissed me
But then he said that I am
Not his wife
He wanted to get rid of me so he could have his new girlfriend

And very quickly
I was given the option of a divorce by mutual consent
So tell - did you do it?
Yes yes, King’s Sister!

Wednesday 26 February 2020

Pixie Air sketch - Mercorabilia

A follow-on from last month's Neverland sketch - this time with Tinkerbell as the star.


Tinkerbell: Hello everyone and welcome aboard Pixie Air Flight No. 1. We’re so thrilled you’ve chosen to fly with us today on our trip to Neverland. Now if you’ll just bear with us and we’ll be on our way soon.
Passenger A: Fantastic this – a mystery tour to a far off land. And we didn’t have to pay a penny.
Passenger B: I still say there’s got to be a catch.
Passenger A: What do you mean?
Passenger B: Well, for starters why haven’t we heard of this company before?
Passenger A: Because they’re new. Not been in the skies long. All the staff have tons of flying experience though. It said so on their website – a magical experience for all.
Tinkerbell (VO): Ok everyone – the plane’s been topped with pixie dust so all that is required now is some very happy thoughts and then off we go.
Passenger B: What was all that about?
Passenger A: No idea. Maybe pixie dust is a new type of fuel they use. Like an eco-friendly petrol.
Tinkerbell (VO): Oh dear. I’m afraid we’re still having a bit of trouble getting going. Could I ask everyone to please concentrate very hard on their happy thoughts and I’m sure we’ll soon be off.
Passenger A: Did I hear that right? They want us to get this thing going? I knew there was a catch.
Passenger B: What was all that about? Happy thoughts. What does that mean?
Passenger A: Excuse me, miss.
Tinkerbell: Yes.
Passenger A: I just wanted to ask – that last announcement about happy thoughts…
Tinkerbell: Yes, I hope you’re concentrating on yours. You see we rely on your happy thoughts to make the plane fly.
Passenger B: Well, what a load of rubbish. How on earth is that supposed to work?
Tinkerbell: Oh, now that’s hardly the attitude we need, is it?
Passenger A: So you’re telling me that if we all together think of very happy thoughts that this plane will take off?
Tinkerbell: Of course.
Passenger B: And what if we can’t?
Tinkerbell: Then it won’t
Passenger A: Oh, well. Might as well give it a go, I suppose.
<straining sounds>
<sound of something heavy moving>
Passenger A: What was that?
Tinkerbell: Oh, very good. We nearly had it then.
Passenger A: My goodness - it really works!
Tinkerbell: Of course it does. Now go on – try again.
Passenger A: Ok.
<straining sounds>
<sound of an airplane engine starting up and then a metallic judder as the plane begins to shake until eventually there is a collective reaction from the passengers as the plane lifts off>
Tinkerbell: Oh, well done everyone! We’re up.
Passenger A: Oh, at last. Does that mean we can stop thinking happy thoughts?
Tinkerbell: Well, not really. You see it’s happy thought that power the aeroplane.
Passenger A: So what happens if we stop thinking happy thoughts.
Tinkerbell: Um.
<sound of an airplane engine stuttering>
Passenger A: I see. Happythoughts. Happythoughts. Happythoughts. Happythoughts. Happythoughts.
Passenger B: Just how long is this flight?
Tinkerbell: Oh, not long – we should be there by morning.
Passenger A: Morning?!?
Passenger B: I told you there was a catch.
Passenger A: Happythoughts. Happythoughts. Happythoughts. Happythoughts. Happythoughts.
Passenger B: Happythoughts. Happythoughts. Happythoughts. Happythoughts. Happythoughts.

Saturday 1 February 2020

From The Mind of Merc - Game of Thrones

Sometimes I find my mind wandering over various eclectic topics ad occasionally I am inspired to write some of them down. Today I was thinking about Game of Thrones Series 8. With George R R Martin recently announcing that his ending of the Game of Thrones will be nothing like that portrayed in the TV show, I reminded me just how badly series 8 completely destroyed all of the character arcs that had been developing throughout the other 7 series. And there are certain characters for who it was clearer than others:

*SPOILER ALERT* *SPOILER ALERT* *SPOILER ALERT* *SPOILER ALERT*

Daenerys Targaryen
















 Cersei Lannister 


















Jaime Lannister








 Arya Stark

Jon Snow







Original caricatures by Chris Bishop