From The Mind of Merc - Comebacks

Sometimes I find my mind wandering over various eclectic topics and occasionally I am inspired to write some of them down. Today I was thinking about some of the best comebacks in the world which, perhaps unsurprisingly, have come from women. Comebacks such as when Muhammed Ali was travelling on an aeroplane, he was asked to fasten his seatbelt.

His response: "Superman didn’t need no seatbelt."

The airhostess’s reply: "Superman didn’t need no airplane either."

Or when Noel Coward commented on Edna Ferber’s choice of clothing by saying "You look almost like a man", Edna Ferber replied "So do you."

Not even women are safe from female retorts. For example, when Miriam Hopkins encountered a wannabe starlet and was told "Did you know I’ve insured my voice for a thousand dollars." Hopkins response was "That’s wonderful. What did you spend the money on?"

Ilke Chase experienced a similar situation when an actress approached her and said "I enjoyed reading your book. Who wrote it for you?" An unphased Ilke retorted "Darling, I’m so glad you liked it. Who read it for you?"

And there is, of course, the infamous encounter when Clare Booth Luce moved aside from a doorway to allow Dorothy Parker to go through first and remarked "Age before beauty." To which Dorothy Parker immortally replied "Pearls before swine."

When it comes to comebacks, Dorothy Parker is probably the queen of them all.

For example, on being told Coolidge had died, she remarked "How could they tell?"

After being interrupted on her honeymoon by a query as to why her book review was late she said "I’m too fucking busy, and vice versa."

Talk about Burn!

The wit displayed in these few simple sentences demonstrates how women can be (and are) incredibly funny, intelligent, talented, and capable of contributing so much but for some reason throughout history they have been oppressed, ignored, betrayed and lied to just so men can come out ‘on top’

I personally think it speaks volumes when the word ‘feminism’ doesn’t mean the rise of women to the subjugation of men but instead equality of the sexes (if you don’t believe me – after all, I am a woman – may I humbly suggest you look it up).

Feminism is an incredibly simple idea but a vitally important one for two crucial reasons.

1) Look at this list of women who have achieved amazing things but been sidelined by their male co-workers

- Rosalind Franklin: scientist whose work on DNA with Raymond Gosling led to Watson and Crick’s breakthrough

- Alice Guy: first female studio director and owner whose husband convinced her to combine their studios under his name

- Elizabeth Magie: created Monopoly 30 years before Charles Darrow – who sold it to Parker Brothers for millions

- Lise Meitner: physicist who discovered nuclear fission with Otto Hahn who won the Nobel prize but refused to give Jewish refugee Meitner credit

- Chien-Shiung Wu: a physicist who discovered the law of parity. Her 2 male colleagues men received the Nobel Prize for their work

- Margaret Keane: artist who created the ‘Big-Eyed Waifs’. Her husband convinced her (through threats) to put his name on them.

- Jocelyn Bell Burnell: the first person to observe radio pulsars. Her 2 male colleagues received a Nobel Prize for their work, unlike Burnell.

- Anna Arnold Hedgemann: organised the 1963 Washington march but left out of the “Big 6” who were credited with its organisation

- Margaret Hamilton: wrote the code that put the first men on the moon. But have you ever heard of her?

Imagine what they could have achieved if they’d been supported instead of downtrodden

2) Up until the 1970s(!), women did not have the following (what might be viewed as basic) right

- Women couldn’t protect themselves from workplace harassment

- Women couldn’t refuse their husbands sex – marital rape was not a crime

- Women couldn’t get a divorce for domestic violence – proof of a husband’s infidelity was needed for a divorce

- Women couldn’t get the morning after or birth control pill

- Women couldn’t receive direct consultation about their own physical or mental health

- Women couldn’t own a bank or open a bank account

- Women couldn’t be judges or serve on a jury

- Women couldn’t be astronauts

- Women couldn’t purchase athletic shoes or be part of the Olympic Games

- Women couldn’t get into ivy league university

- Women were obstructed from studying law

And while a lot has been achieved, there is still a LONG way to go.

Feminism is not even a female-only concept. For example:

This is what a feminist looks like:

And there have been many, many, examples of those who grasp just how important it is:

William Golding: I think women are foolish to pretend they are equal to men, they are far superior and always have been.

Hugh Jackman: I’m for gender equality because it should never have been any other way

John Legend: All men should be feminists. If men care about women's rights the world will be a better place.

Mahatma Gandhi: Of all the evils for which man has made himself responsible, none is so degrading, so shocking or so brutal as his abuse of the better half of humanity, the female sex

Prince Harry: We know that when women are empowered, they immeasurably improve the lives of those around them – their families, their communities and their countries

Joseph Gordon-Levitt: What feminism means to me is that you don’t let your gender define who you are – you can be who you want to be, whether you’re a man, a woman, a boy, a girl, whatever

John Stuart Mill: The legal subordination of one sex to the other -- is wrong in itself, and now one of the chief hindrances to human improvement

But if you need further reasons why women are not to be underestimated or indeed messed with, consider this:

- Women are able to bleed for 1 whole week every month and not die

- Women are able to create life inside their own bodies

- Women are experts at doing multiple tasks all at once

- Women use both sides of the brain (men predominantly use only the left side of their brains)

- And finally, women are experts at getting blood out of clothing

Just remember – women are not the subjugators. The majority of women are not out to ‘control’ or oppress men. They do not want to get their own back. They want equality and an equality that will benefit everyone.

So maybe the answer to the question what does a feminist look like should be ‘Look in a mirror’