Battleship sketch - Mercorabilia

A new twist on an old classic

*sound of naval radar*
Sailor: Enemy vessel detected, captain! 
Captain: Man the torpedoes.
Sailor: Torpedoes armed and ready, captain. Awaiting co-ordinates.
Captain: Target torpedoes latitude A, longitude 3.
Sailor: Latitude A, longitude 3 loaded, captain.
Captain: Fire!
*sound of torpedo being fired and landing in water*
Captain: Miss! Reload!
Sailor: Torpedoes reloaded, captain.
Captain: Aim for latitude A, longitude 4.
Sailor: Latitude A, longitude 4 – armed and ready, captain.
Captain: Fire!
*sound of torpedo being fired followed by explosion*
Captain: Hit! Quickly! Quickly! Reload!
Sailor: Torpedoes ready, captain.
Captain: Aim for latitude B, longitude 4.
Sailor: Ready, captain.
Captain: Fire!
*sound of torpedo being fired followed by explosion*
Captain: Hit! Quickly – reload! One more should do it.
Sailor: Torpedoes ready, captain.
Captain: Latitude C, longitude 4. Fire!
*sound of torpedo being fired followed by explosion*
Captain: Yes! That’s it! We’ve done! We’ve sunk their battleship!
*shouts and cheers*
Sailor: Message from HQ, sir. The enemy have admitted defeat. We’ve won!
*more shouts and cheers*
Captain: Well, that was a jolly good game, wasn’t it? Time to go back in the box. Make sure you’ve got all your parts with you.
Sailor: Aye, sir. Goodnight, Captain.
Captain: Goodnight.