From The Mind of Merc - So Many Questions

Sometimes I find my mind wandering over various eclectic topics and occasionally I am inspired to write some of them down. Today I was pondering all sorts of bizarre and unconnected musings which I thought I'd share here:
(Ok - some of them are jokes but I hope one or two make you stop and go 'Hmmm')

• Why is it called a "building" when it is already built?

• Why is "abbreviation" such a long word?
  
• Why isn't "palindrome" spelled the same way backwards?
  
• Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?
  
• What's the synonym for thesaurus?
  
• Whose cruel idea was it for the word 'lisp' to have an 's' in it?
  
• Why do they call it 'chili' if it's hot?
  
• Why isn't there mouse flavoured cat food?
  
• Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?
  
• Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to?
  
• What was the best thing before sliced bread?
  
• How can there be self-help "groups"?
  
• What happens if you go on a survival course - and you don't pass?
  
• Why is the alphabet in that order?
  
• Why is the meaning of life hard to find when you have a dictionary?
  
• Why is it that when you transport something by car, it's called a shipment, but when you transport something by ship, it's called cargo?
  
• A stitch in time saves nine what?
  
• What do sheep count when they can't get to sleep?
  
• When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it?
  
• Why is it new and improved? If it's new how can it be an improvement of something and if it's
   improved how can it be something new?
• Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
  
• Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice"?
  
• What is a "free" gift? Aren't all gifts free?
  
• Are crop circles the work of a cereal killer?
  
• If humans have nightmares, what do horses have?
  
• If rabbits' feet are so lucky, then what happened to the rabbit?
  
• If laughter is the best medicine, how can people be said to have 'died laughing'?
  
• Who invented the term 'spending money?' What other sort is there?
  
• Why do they have ear piercing while you wait?  Is there some shop where you can drop them off and pick them up later?
  
• If a vegetarian is someone who eats vegetables, what does that make a humanitarian?
  
• If corn oil comes from corn....where does baby oil come from?
  
• If tin whistles are made of tin, what are fog horns made of?
  
• If crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight?
  
• If peanut butter cookies are made from peanut butter, then what are Girl Scout cookies made out of?
  
• Why is there no pine or apple in pineapple?
  
• If a food processor slices and dices food, what does a word processor do?
  
• Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink whatever comes out?"
  
• Who was the first person to see an egg come from a chicken's butt and think, "I'll bet that would be good to eat?
  
• Why are they called "stands" when they're made for sitting?
  
• Why is it called lipstick if you can still move your lips?
  
• Where in the nursery rhyme does it say Humpty Dumpty is an egg?
  
• Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
  
• Why did you just try singing the two songs above?
  
• How long is a piece of string?
  
• If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?

And finally.. have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?