From The Mind of Merc - Rejected Actors

Sometimes I find my mind wandering over various eclectic topics and occasionally I am inspired to write some of them down. Today I was thinking about drama schools.

Following on from last month's post about publishers, another area in which those with questionable senses of judgment potentially negatively impact the enjoyment in the world is drama schools.

It is a well-known adage that those who can't, teach. But maybe they also can't judge.

Here is a list of actors who were initially rejected or expelled from their establishments of dramatic education:

Rejected
- Carey Mulligan: This Oscar nominated actress was rejected by every drama school she applied to (thankfully Julian Fellowes was able to help her start her career)
- Rosamund Pike: After being rejected by every drama school she applied to, she landed a part as a Bond girl in Die Another Day
- Daniel Craig: Future Bond actor, Craig, was rejected by RADA, LAMDA and the Young Vic before being accepted at the Barbican
- Hugh Jackman: The award-winning actor - best known currently for his role as Wolverine - was rejected by NIDA but got into WAAPA
- Tom Hardy: This versatile thespian was rejected by RADA and expelled by the London Drama Centre (though fortunately he was allowed back in the following year)
- Rachel Griffiths: After being rejected by the National Institute of Dramatic Art, she joined a local community theatre group which led to her award-winning performance in the 1994 film Muriel's Wedding
- Anthony La Paglia: Also rejected by NIDA, this award-winning actor's career took off when he made the move from Australia to America
BONUS - Steven Spielberg: This globally-renowned director was rejected by the University of Southern California School of Cinema not once but twice(!)

Expelled
- Denholm Elliott: The much-loved award-winning actor was asked to leave RADA after a year
- Jon Pertwee: The future Doctor Who actor was kicked out of RADA for refusing to be a wind (this was after he was rejected by Central due to his lisp)
- Charles Laughton: Consoled his fellow thesp, Pertwee, with the quip that 'All the best people get chucked out of RADA'
- Rodney Bewes: This Likely Lad was expelled during his final year at RADA
- BONUS - Alec Guinness: Failed to get into RADA as the scholarship was not being offered the year he applied

Again, it makes you wonder how many more skilled and capable thespians never got the chance due to some misplaced judgement they experienced from those they faced at their crucial time. 

Doctor, Doctor - !!!NEW!!!

And finishing with...

Honey Honey Doctor Doctor not by ABBA
Doctor Doctor, we need you now, oh yes, Doctor Doctor
Doctor Doctor, don’t let us down, oh no, Doctor Doctor
We have heard all about you
And all of the things you do
And now we hope they are true, we really need you
Oh, help us Doctor, please 

Doctor Doctor, we’re in danger, oh yes, Doctor Doctor
Doctor Doctor, (don’t) be a stranger, oh no, Doctor Doctor
We know that you care for earth
(We know that you care for the earth)
We know you value its worth
(We know you value its worth)
So please listen to our plea and help set us free

We don't want this to be over
And we do not want to die
So we hope you’ll hear us
And we all hope you will try
Please say that you’ll stick with us now
That you’ll never let us be
‘Cause otherwise we will not escape this calamity

Doctor Doctor, please do save us, a-ha, Doctor Doctor
Doctor Doctor, help end this fuss, a-ha, Doctor Doctor
You are the one that we want (you’re the one that we want)
So please don’t be nonchalant (do not be nonchalant)
Because without your assist, we will not exist

So we hope you’ll hear us and we all hope you will try
‘Cause otherwise we will not escape this calamity

Doctor Doctor, we need you now, oh yes, Doctor Doctor
Doctor Doctor, don’t let us down, oh no, Doctor Doctor
We have heard all about you
And all of the things you do
And now we hope they are true, we really need you

Gallifrey - !!!NEW!!!

Very late with this month's posts but hopefully it's a case of better late than never.

As I spent to today at a Whovian event, both of today's/this month's contributions are influenced by that particular interest, starting with...

Galway Girl Gallifrey not by Ed Sheeran 
It wasn’t really something that I planned
When I fell in love with a young human
Found she was in peril and so I took her by the hand
Said, "Run” and that’s how it began 

I met her in London in the basement of a store
Where she was then being attacked by plastic mannequins galore
Though after we split up soon I was led right back to her
Where I met her boyfriend Mickey and, of course, her mother
Worked out that the Nestene was the whole reason why
And together we tracked it back to its base at the London Eye
Chat didn’t work but luckily for me
Rose helped me to escape then we both could flee

It wasn’t really something that I planned
When I fell in love with a young human
Found she was in peril and so I took her by the hand
Said, "Run” and that’s how it began
‘Cause I am the man from Gallifrey
Yes I am the man from Gallifrey

You know we faced all sorts of villains not just the Nestene
Like Gelth, the Jagrafess, Reapers and not forgetting the Slitheen
Who could have guessed what kind of adventures lay in store
When I invited Rose behind my blue door
I never thought the Daleks would be alive today
But beat our first encounter thanks to human DNA
Oh, we thought we were doing well and were so very smart
But little did we know soon it would be time to part

It wasn’t really something that I planned
When I fell in love with a young human
Found she was in peril and so I took her by the hand
Said, "Run” and that’s how it began
‘Cause I am the man from Gallifrey
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah Gallifrey
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah Gallifrey
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah Gallifrey

Soon we were up against the wall also out of time
The Daleks were after their newest chance to shine
Found that I couldn’t complete my grand design
But then Rose opened the TARDIS and she won the fight
(I) absorbed the light, took her back inside
But then every cell in my body it started to die
I reassured her that there was no need for fright
‘Cause I’m from Gallifrey and it’ll be alright

It wasn’t really something that I planned
When I fell in love with a young human
Found she was in peril and so I took her by the hand
Said, "Run” and that’s how it began
‘Cause I am the man from Gallifrey
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah Gallifrey
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah Gallifrey
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah Gallifrey

From The Mind of Merc - Rejected Authors

Sometimes I find my mind wandering over various eclectic topics and occasionally I am inspired to write some of them down. Today I was thinking about publishers.

One thing that bugs me (and which I constantly seem to run into) is people who have achieved (or usually placed themselves) in elevated positions of judgement with the power of life and death of other people's hopes, dreams and ambitions.
Personally nowhere is this (and its inherent issues) plainer than in the publishing industry.

There are undoubtedly countless unfortunate souls whose slaved over creations never saw the light of day as they failed to please the people to who they were submitted and on whose approval their distribution depended. The reason I say this has inherent issues is that it is undeniably flawed. As demonstrated/For example, here is a list of books that were rejected by the publishers who received them:
- Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone by J. K. Rowling: This global phenomenon was rejected by 10 publishers before an agent's daughter persuaded him to take a chance
- Chicken Soup For The Soul by Jack Canfield and Mark Victor Hansen: After 33 rejections, this book finally found a publisher and has sold more than 80 million copies in 37 languages
- Dubliners by James Joyce: 22 publishers turned down Joyce's debut novel before it finally hit the bookshops
- Lorna Doone by Richard Doddridge Blackmore: This 19th century classic was rejected 18 times before finally being published in 1899
- M*A*S*H by Richard Hooker: The book that inspired the classic TV series was turned down 21 times before finding a home
- Carrie by Stephen King: After getting 30 rejections for his book even King rejected it. Fortunately, his wife persuaded him to try again.
- Gone With The Wind by Margaret Mitchell: This book was rejected 38 times but ultimately earned a Pulitzer Prize and a film adaptation
- Dune by Frank Herbert: 23 publishers rejected this Hugo award-winning cult classic that spawned 5 sequels and 2 film adaptations
- Anne of Green Gables by L. M. Montgomery: After 5 publishers rejected her novel, Montgomery buried it in a hat box. 2 years later she tried again
- The Diary of Anne Frank: This was rejected 15 times before Doubleday agreed to published it and subsequently sold 25 million copies
- Twilight by Stephanie Meyer: 14 agencies rejected this vampire romance novel which subsequently sold 17 million copies and spawned a film franchise
- The Notebook by Nicholas Sparks: 24 agencies turned down this film-inspiring novel which was sold by the 25th agency for $1 million
- The Thomas Berryman Murder by James Patterson: This bestselling author faced 31 rejections before going on to produce 19 consecutive No. 1s
- A Time To Kill by John Grisham: 16 agencies and 12 publishers turned down his debut which sold out immediately on publication
- The Help by Kathryn Sockett: Rejected by 60 agents, it ended up on the bestseller list for over 100 weeks, sold 7 million copies and spawned a film adaptation
- And To Think That I Saw It On Mulberry Street by Dr Seuss: After 27 rejections, Theodore Geisel had lost hope until he encountered a editor friend
- Catch 22 by Joseph Heller: Rejected 22 times (which is supposedly the reason for the title of this new famous book
- Lord of the Flies by William Golding: Golding faced 20 rejections before finding success with a less critical publisher
Other rejected authors include: Agatha Christie, L. Frank Baum, C.S. Lewis, Dan Brown, Beatrix Potter, Judy Blume, Kenneth Grahame, Sylvia Plath, Jack Kerouac, John Le Carre, Ursula K. LeGuin, J. D. Salinger, Meg Cabot, Alice Walker, H. G. Wells, Herman Melville, George Orwell, F. Scott Fitzgerald, Louisa May Alcott, Mary Shelley, Joseph Helier, Richard Adams, Vladimir Nabokov, Paulo Coelho and The Diary of Anne Frank 

To me, this says the said publishers don't actually know what they are looking for, what will be popular and therefore what they should accept and/or reject.

A suggestion further demonstrated by the fact that an experiment conducted in 2007 showed that Jane Austen would even struggle to be published nowadays(!)

Thankfully nowadays there is the option of self-publishing so we run a decreased risk of being without the aforementioned rejected classics. Still, it makes you think how many more there might have been...

When You're Snoring - !!!NEW!!!

And now a mini parody of a Frank Sinatra classic for all those people who are sick of being kept awake at night.

When You're Smiling When You're Snoring not by Frank Sinatra 

Oh when you’re snoring, when you’re snoring
The whole world scowls at you
And when you’re snorting, when you’re snorting
The hatred comes glaring through 

But when you waking we get a respite
So stop your sleeping baby and make it all alright
But don’t keep on snoring, keep on snoring
Or the whole world will hate you

Make It Stop - !!!NEW!!!

Just got this month's posts in in time.
First a parody song for all those people who are sick of a certain Disney song.

Let It Go Make It Stop not from Frozen

It’s been so long since we first heard that song
But yet still it haunts our dreams
A single lone repetition
Makes me feel I want to scream 

The tune is endless like a never ceasing tide
Even when it’s gone it’s still deep inside
Don't want to think, don't want to know
Just how those familiar lyrics go
Implore “no more” don't let it stay
‘Cause now I say

Make it stop, make it stop
Can't stand that thing anymore
Make it stop, make it stop
Every sentence I abhor
You may love the message it brings
But think you should know
It would be a mistake to try to sing

Although you might not realise the impact that it has
The thought of hearing it now is something I can’t let pass
It's had its time, it’s had its fun
And also a more than fair run
No more I beg - it’s not for me
Oh please

Make it stop, make it stop
We have heard it one time too much
Make it stop, make it stop
Don’t want any more slush
No more please that tune it stings
Yes think you should know

It might seem like it’s just a cute Disney ditty
But I’m begging of you to please have some pity
Let this time that we hear it be the very last
Let’s put this song to rest and leave it in the past

Make it stop, make it stop
Why won’t it ever go away
Make it stop, make it stop
Hasn’t it now had its day
No more please that tune it stings
Yes think you should know
That is one song you should never sing

From The Mind of Merc - Elections

Sometimes I find my mind wandering over various eclectic topics and occasionally I am inspired to write some of them down. Today I was thinking about elections.

One of the main things that always worries about elections when you have a perceptibly awful option that people presume that awful option doesn’t stand a chance and consequently they don’t bother to vote. Whenever people do that, that awful option regrettably stands an incredibly good chance.

The most memorable example of this for me (aside from the 2016 US Presidential election) will always be the 2002 French Presidential election. For this, the options were the incumbent Jacques Chirac, his sidekick, Lionel Jospin, and National Front candidate, Jean-Marie Le Pen. It was believed Le Pen didn’t stand a chance – who wants a fascist for President, right? – so the French people think they needed to vote. The result was Le Pen beat Jospin in the preliminary election to get through to the final round of voting. This shocked the French into action and Chirac won by a landslide but their initial laissez-faire attitude nearly meant a fascist taking control of their government.

In Britain we face the apparently obvious choice of Sunak and his self-serving, elitist cronies – who have crippled this country with their obscenely apparent money-grabbing ways – or frankly anyone else. Yet it is not a foregone conclusion that they won’t win. Aside from the fact that people still doubt Starmer’s credentials mean he’s a better option (even though it’s meant to be about policies not people and not a popularity contest), the polls confidently predicting Labour success  has the potential to produce the exact opposite effect to that it intends (as I fear).

Also, a big difference between us and the French election is the French get 2 goes – we don’t – that’s why we have to make it count.

So, on July 4^th, it’s imperative we learn from the almost-mistake of the French. Whether or not the think the Tories stand a chance (and regardless of thoughts or opinion of Starmer and his promises), in order to make sure the Sunak et al aren’t allowed to continue running this country into the ground like it’s their own personal piggy bank – you must go out and vote. If you don’t, their supporters will – just like Le Pen’s.

Remember:
- Never take election results for granted.
- Never assume you don’t need to vote to get the result you want/expect.
- Never let those who are out to serve themselves be allowed to continue in their way unchecked and unchallenged.

And, as a helpful hint, try this website to help get the Tories out: https://tactical.vote/

You Wanna Get Out Of This State - !!!NEW!!!

And a message to those fed-up with 14 years of Tory misrule.

We Gotta Get Out Of This Place You Wanna Get To Get Out Of This State not by The Animals 
In this rundown old wreck of a country
Where we lived not just survived
And being poor din’t mean you’re deprived 

But the Tories they got control and
They held on for fourteen years
To bring to life all of our great fears (you know)

Now the NHS is strugglin’
And prices keep goin’ up        
It seems that food banks are our only backup, oh yes you know it

Gov’ment’s working so hard
But not workin' for you, honey (no!)
You know that it’s true (yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!) 

You wanna get out of this state?
Then there’s just one thing you gotta do
You wanna get out of this state?
Then know that when the day comes just don’t vote blue

‘Cause the Tories they got control and
They held on for fourteen years
To bring to life all of our great fears (you know)

Now the NHS is strugglin’
And prices keep goin’ up        
It seems that food banks are our only backup, oh yes you know it

You know gov’ment’s workin' so hard
Not for you baby (yeah!)
Whoa!
(Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!) 

You wanna get out of this state?
Then there’s just one thing you gotta do
You wanna get out of this state?
Then know that when the day comes just don’t vote blue

No don’t baby
You know you know it, baby

You wanna get out of this state?
Then there’s just one thing you gotta do
You wanna get out of this state?
Then know that when the day comes just don’t vote blue

Believe me baby
I know it baby
You know it too

F*ck You - !!!NEW!!!

There's a distinctive theme to this month's posts - but a worthy one I feel - starting with a message for Mr Sunak.

F*ck You not by Lily Allen
Look at it, look at all of the shambles that you have created
We are all so fed up
Of the lies you make up and that’s why we’re frustrated 

‘Cause you say that it's okay for more pay, unless you’re in NHS
You're an elitist who should be defeatist
Your point of view causes distress

Fuck you (Fuck you), fuck you very, very much
'Cause we hate what you do
And Patel and Truss too
So please don't stay in touch

Fuck you (Fuck you), fuck you very, very much
'Cause you’re so out-of-date
And you’ve screwed the whole state
Go. And don't stay in touch

Do you get, do you get a little kick out of being so heartless?
You want to be like the Churchill, you’re convinced that you are brill
But your campaign is worthless

Do you, do you really enjoy making lives so miserable?
'Cause there's a hole where your soul should be
Your disdain is plain to see, you have proved you’re unable

Fuck you (Fuck you), fuck you very, very much
'Cause we hate what you do
And Rees-Mogg and Raab too
So please don't stay in touch

Fuck you (Fuck you), fuck you very, very much
'Cause you’re so out-of-date
And you’ve screwed the whole state
Go. And don't stay in touch

Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you
Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you
Fuck you

You say, you think we need to vote Tory, to fix the mess that you made
But it's people like you that we need to shoo
No one wants you to have stayed

Fuck you (Fuck you), fuck you very, very much
'Cause we hate what you do
Braverman and Hunt too
So please don't stay in touch

Fuck you (Fuck you), fuck you very, very much
'Cause you’re so out-of-date
And you’ve screwed the whole state
Go. And don't stay in touch

Fuck you, fuck you
Fuck you, fuck you
Fuck you, fuck you
Fuck you, fuck you
Fuck you, fuck you
Fuck you, fuck you

From The Mind of Merc - The Tudor Dynasty Portrait

Sometimes I find my mind wandering over various eclectic topics and occasionally I am inspired to write some of them down. Today I was thinking about the Dynasty or Succession portrait of Henry VIII which was painted c.1545.

In it, Henry is shown seated between his son, Edward, and his third wife, Jane Seymour, with his two other daughters – Mary and Elizabeth – depicted either side of the painting.

What is perhaps odd about this is that, at the time, Henry was actually married to Catherine Parr – his sixth wife. Although the replacement can be understandable given that Jane was the mother of Edward – his one son and heir – what intrigued me was Jane’s clothing.

The most well-known image of Jane Seymour is the ornate and detailed portrait by Hans Holbein the Younger which shows her attired in a rich red velvet gown whereas in the dynasty portrait she wears what is presumably a cloth of gold gown.

While there is a secondary posthumous image of Jane dressed in a gold gown, there is also a portrait of Catherine Parr (previously misidentified as Lady Jane Grey) in which she wears clothing which bears a striking resemblance to that worn by Jane Seymour in the dynasty painting – gold gown with ermine(?) sleeves and a red kirtle and foresleeves – even the pendant is identical (although this is likely due to it probably being a piece from the queen’s jewellery). 

Given the date of this portrait is also c.1545, it suggests that it is Catherine who is being depicted in – and presumably who sat for – the image and Jane’s head was superimposed at Henry’s instruction(?) – i.e. if the gold gown was not a hand-me-down to Catherine from a previous queen, then it is an item that belonged to, and was worn, by her and not Jane.

Associated with this is the fact that Jane and Catherine share several striking similarities:-
1.       Both women married Henry VIII (obviously) after his previous wife was executed:
       -      Jane’s marriage was on 30^th May 1536 – 11 days after Anne Boleyn’s execution)
       -      Catherine’s marriage was on 12^th July 1543 – 5 months after Catherine Howard’s execution)

2.       They both faced uncertainty and danger during their time as queen (and both ‘learned their lesson’):
       -      Jane attempted to speak up for the rebels of the Pilgrimage of Grace and was told to “Remember Anne” – she did and refrained from repeating her ‘error’
       -      Catherine had an arrest warrant issued for her following an argument – fortunately she learned of this and was able to dissuade the king from enacting it

3.       Both had only 1 child:

       -      Jane’s son, Edward, was born 12^th October 1537
       -      Catherine’s daughter, Mary, was born 30^th August 1548

4.       They both died shortly after the birth of their only child – presumably of ‘childbed’ or puerperal fever:

       -      Jane died 12 days after the birth of her son on 24^th October 1537
       -      Catherine died 6 days after the birth of her daughter on 5^th September 1548

5.       Both of their children died young:

       -      Edward died aged 15 on 6^th July 1553
       -      Mary is believed to have died around the age of 2 as no record of her exists after this time

6.       And, finally, they effectively ended up being related given Catherine’s last husband was Thomas Seymour – Jane’s brother.