This is inspired by the Princess Rap Battles created by Whitney Avalon (if you haven't seen them, check them out - they are brilliant. The inspiration for this one can be found here).
This is my first rap parody. Next step to get it made as a music video (maybe I should ask Whitney for some advice).
This is my first rap parody. Next step to get it made as a music video (maybe I should ask Whitney for some advice).
BENEDICK
Another dried-up lonely has-been come to decry her woes
No need to be morose that is just how love goes
I'm the legendary soldier of lots of battles
The women all adore me and flock to me like cattle (ha!)
Around me they hang while I just do my thang
Yes – all the ladies wanna be in my gang
I deserve a stipend for saving all my friends
From the clutches of women, all say amen
I have the best mentality, all you have’s abnormality
The name of your life story: The Pathetic Triviality
Of course you're bitter, I'm the best guy around
Got no baggage, avoid marriage, something you’ve never found
Another dried-up lonely has-been come to decry her woes
No need to be morose that is just how love goes
I'm the legendary soldier of lots of battles
The women all adore me and flock to me like cattle (ha!)
Around me they hang while I just do my thang
Yes – all the ladies wanna be in my gang
I deserve a stipend for saving all my friends
From the clutches of women, all say amen
I have the best mentality, all you have’s abnormality
The name of your life story: The Pathetic Triviality
Of course you're bitter, I'm the best guy around
Got no baggage, avoid marriage, something you’ve never found
BEATRICE
Whatever! Dick! Don’t be mean? Feeble!
I'm the only one here with respect of the people
While I'm living my life you're sleeping with hoes
Don’t be misled ‘cause to your bed is not where I’ll go
Dicky’s dreaming he's so special, well, somebody should wake him
‘Cause round here everybody thinks he’s just a stupid cretin
Fear the super witty woman – no, I'm not giving in
To your sad attempts at humour – that would be a sin
Your misguided self image is stuck in the past
So adored, for your sword? There’s no way that will last
You're shallow and obsessed with looks and how we're dressed
Do you think any girls care? (Ha!) More like distressed
Whatever! Dick! Don’t be mean? Feeble!
I'm the only one here with respect of the people
While I'm living my life you're sleeping with hoes
Don’t be misled ‘cause to your bed is not where I’ll go
Dicky’s dreaming he's so special, well, somebody should wake him
‘Cause round here everybody thinks he’s just a stupid cretin
Fear the super witty woman – no, I'm not giving in
To your sad attempts at humour – that would be a sin
Your misguided self image is stuck in the past
So adored, for your sword? There’s no way that will last
You're shallow and obsessed with looks and how we're dressed
Do you think any girls care? (Ha!) More like distressed
BENEDICK
Oh, I'm the one who's boring? You know I find that so funny
My wits could beat you senseless - the truth hurts now don’t it, honey
Your jibes have no power, you're just a weak flower
Stay where you belong: in your iv’ry tower
I'm every women’s dream with a killer repartee
Just go and ask your friends oops forgot there’s none to see
When you first met me it was love at first sight
Couldn’t keep your hands off - you were mine before midnight
Oh, I'm the one who's boring? You know I find that so funny
My wits could beat you senseless - the truth hurts now don’t it, honey
Your jibes have no power, you're just a weak flower
Stay where you belong: in your iv’ry tower
I'm every women’s dream with a killer repartee
Just go and ask your friends oops forgot there’s none to see
When you first met me it was love at first sight
Couldn’t keep your hands off - you were mine before midnight
BEATRICE
Such a brief encounter that you think was a romance?
Sure wasn’t in love with your ‘manly’ stance
My dream guy wouldn’t e’er be so shallow
My very high standards are what you fall far below
You used to be young now you’re just old and past it
Make girls think you’ll go the night but there’s no way you’ll last it
You say you’re anti-romance, but we both know that’s not true
And out of the two of us the slowest one is you
Such a brief encounter that you think was a romance?
Sure wasn’t in love with your ‘manly’ stance
My dream guy wouldn’t e’er be so shallow
My very high standards are what you fall far below
You used to be young now you’re just old and past it
Make girls think you’ll go the night but there’s no way you’ll last it
You say you’re anti-romance, but we both know that’s not true
And out of the two of us the slowest one is you
BENEDICK
Oh, you think that's true? That’s so sad it makes me feel blue
If you believe you’re better a reality check is due
You got hung up on me - aw, that is just so sad
You should have known I'm not a one-woman lad
Oh, you think that's true? That’s so sad it makes me feel blue
If you believe you’re better a reality check is due
You got hung up on me - aw, that is just so sad
You should have known I'm not a one-woman lad
BEATRICE
You think you’re adored but you are really deplored
Everyone thinks the same because you just make them bored
The moral of our quarrel and why you should now rest
Men might think they’re powerful but women are the best
You think you’re adored but you are really deplored
Everyone thinks the same because you just make them bored
The moral of our quarrel and why you should now rest
Men might think they’re powerful but women are the best
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