Tuesday, 16 September 2025

Hush Little Aggador - !!!NEW!!!

And a little nursery rhyme. Perhaps as an alternative to a Venusian lullaby.

Hush, little Aggador, don't you get mad,
Doctor will stop those who are doing bad.

If he gets caught with his companion, Jo,
To the throne room is then where he will go.

If Hepesh says he must fight,
He might find that the man will aid his flight.

If he fails to tell the Prince of you,
He’ll battle for his freedom and win it too.

If Arcturus shoots to kill,
He’ll miss and the Doctor’ll reveal all ill.

If the delegates can’t call for help,
He’ll still find a way to destroy the whelp.

If Hepesh takes the prince away,
He’ll arrive just in time with you to save the day.

If all of that had been no go,
He’d reverse the polarity of the neutron flow.


I actually wrote 2 version of this. The first follows the plot of the Curse of Peladon. This 2nd one is a more generic one to cover the 3rd Doctor's tenure.

Hush, little Aggador, don't you get mad,
Doctor will stop those who are doing bad.

Travelling round with Jo,
He’s never sure where on earth he will go.

He has come from Gallifrey,
And you can be sure he will save the day.

Smart and skilled in aikido,
With a screwdriver that’s sonic, you know.

He’s battled Daleks, Autons too,
But if you’re good then he will not fight you.

He can call on his UNIT friends,
But he doesn’t need them to achieve his ends.

Does what is needed to save all,
And ensure it’s our enemies who fall.

If he’s stuck and it seems no go,
He'll reverse the polarity of the neutron flow 

If - !!!NEW!!!

Onto what would have been June's posts and continuing with the Whovian theme.
Upon discovering that there was effectively enough lines for each of the 15 Doctors to get their own 2 lines, I did my best to fit that pattern and denoted which tenure it referred to in brackets.

If not by Rudyard Kipling
(Hartnell) If you can keep your head when all about you
Are Daleks surrounding you and Susan;
(Troughton) If you can find when the Cybermen trap you,
You still find a way to ensure you’ve won:
(Pertwee) If you can meet and old friend and a rival,
And stop them from destroying everything,
(Baker) Or defeat the unwanted survival,
Of the leader of an alien ring

(Davison) If you can meet a dark cosmic entity;
And not let them interfere with your aim,
(Baker) If you can face the Valeyard and the Rani
And beat those two troublemakers just the same:
(McCoy) If you can bear to face off against Fenric
And still escape with your companion,
(McGann) Or defeat an old friend and a lunatic
Who tries to bring about oblivion;

(Eccleston) If you can give up on your new appearance
To help save the life of the one you love,
(Tennant) Lose them, and start again with perseverance
⁠And never speak (of) what you’re deprived of:
(Smith) If you can battle Angels, Silence and more
Not forgetting the Great Intelligence,
(Capaldi) If you can agree that you’ll guard a vault door
⁠Knowing the price (of) any negligence

(Whitaker) If you can learn the truth behind your origins,
And still defeat whatever threat comes through,
(Tennant) If not old foes who force out new beginnings,
Can stop you from what you then need to do:
(Gatwa) If you can keep Omega from this planet
After making sure Sutekh’s had his run,
You’ll save the Earth and everyone that's on it,
⁠As—which is more—you're a Timelord, my son!

We Didn't Start The Time War - !!!NEW!!!

And then another Whovian parody

We Didn’t Start The Fire We Didn't Start The Time War not by Billy Joel
TARDIS, Exterminate, UNIT, Regenerate
Unearthly Child, Castrovalva, Sarah Jane, K9
Logopolis, Androzani, Gallifrey, Bok, The Rani
Mondas, Morbius, Jo Grant, Key to Time

Jelly Baby, Romana, Yeti, Barbara
Harry, The Toymaker, and a Sonic Screwdriver
Brigadier, Liz Shaw, Look out there’s a dinosaur
Rassilon, Shada, Weng Chiang, Omega

I didn't start the Time War
But I saw it burning
(To) end it I was yearning
I didn't start the Time War
I didn’t begin it          
Sought a way to win it

Android, Drashig, Sontaran, Polly Wright, Ben Jackson
Space Museum, Enlightenment, Silurian
Sil, Kiv, Peladon, Lady Peinforte, Sabalom
Meglos, Ribos, Eldrad, The Black Guardian

Mondas, the Master heading for disaster
Dragonfire, Professor, Sensorites, Ice Warrior
War Chief, Davros, Gastropod, Telos
Full Circle, Survival, won’t go back to Atrios

I didn't start the Time War
But I saw it burning
(To) end it I was yearning
I didn't start the Time War
I didn’t begin it          
Sought a way to win it

Candyman, Fang Rock, Meddling Monk, Earthshock
Wirrn, Power of Kroll, here’s the Happiness Patrol
Bannermen, Mel and Ace, travelling in time and space
Sergeant John Benton, and here’s Ian Chesterton...

The Valeyard, Dodo, Cybermen, Yo-yo
Aztecs, Victoria, Kandyman, Leela
Pyramids, Turlough, Rutans, Marco Polo
Miniscope, Collector, Ramon Salamander

I didn't start the Time War
But I saw it burning
(To) end it I was yearning
I didn't start the Time War
I didn’t begin it          
Sought a way to win it

Metebelis, Sutekh, must defeat the Daleks
Traken, Adric, it’s the Curse of Fenric
Face the Horns of Nimon, don’t listen to Irongron
Theta Sigma, Hepesh, watch out for the Green Death

Movellan, Azal, Kaled, Image of the Fendahl
Susan Foreman, Nyssa and of course Tegan

I didn't start the Time War
But I saw it burning
(To) end it I was yearning
I didn't start the Time War
I didn’t begin it          
Sought a way to win it

Mindwarp, Zygons, Terror of the Autons
Minyos, Vervoids, Nestene, Scarf, Krynoids
Daemons, Kinda, Jamie Macrimmon and Zoe
Make a choice in Genesis, won’t escape Logopolis

Dominators, Inferno, Count Scarlioni, Skaro
Sea devils, Aggador, Sunmakers, Haemavores
Giant bugs called Zarbi, don’t forget the celery
Mandrel, Eden, Adastra, Kaled, Cheetah, Borusa

I didn't start the Time War
But I saw it burning
(To) end it I was yearning
I didn't start the Time War
I didn’t begin it          
Sought a way to win it
Did not begin it
Wanted to win it win it win it win it
win it win it win it win it ...

I didn't start the Time War
But I saw it burning
(To) end it I was yearning
I didn't start the Time War
I didn’t begin it          
Sought a way to win it

I didn't start the Time War
But I saw it burning
(To) end it I was yearning
I didn't start the Time War
I didn’t begin it          
Sought a way to win it

I didn't start the Time War
But I saw it burning
(To) end it I was yearning
I didn't start the Time War
I didn’t begin it          
Sought a way to win it

Jelly Baby - !!!NEW!!!

Realised I'd fallen massively behind with my blog so time to play catch-up.
Firstly, with the 2 songs I would have posted in May. Starting with...

Be My Baby Jelly Baby not by The Ronettes
I know we’ve just met but I need you to know
Though I have changed my face still everywhere I go
I want you to stay with me
To come and travel with me
But first things first and I really want to know

If you would like
(Jelly, jelly baby) Wanna jelly baby
(You want a jelly baby) Oh won’t you just tell me
(Jelly, jelly baby) Jelly baby yes?
Or-or-or-no

Where we go in the TARDIS, just you and me
You’ll be astounded by all the sights you see
And whoever that we meet
I’ll offer them a new treat
It is my favourite sweet and what’s more it’s free

So would you like
(Jelly, jelly baby) Wanna jelly baby
(You want a jelly baby) Oh won’t you just tell me
(Jelly, jelly baby) Jelly baby yes?
Or-or-or-no

So would you like
(Jelly, jelly baby) Wanna jelly baby
(You want a jelly baby) Oh won’t you just tell me
(Jelly, jelly baby) Jelly baby yes?
Or-or-or-no
 

(Jelly, jelly baby) Wanna jelly baby
(You want a jelly baby) Oh won’t you just tell me
(Jelly, jelly baby) Jelly baby yes?
Or-or-or-no

(Jelly, jelly baby) Wanna jelly baby
(You want a jelly baby) Oh won’t you just tell me
(Jelly, jelly baby) Jelly baby yes?
Or-or-or-no

Thursday, 1 May 2025

From The Mind of Merc - Time

Sometimes I find my mind wandering over various eclectic topics and occasionally I am inspired to write some of them down. Today(ish) I was thinking about time and how easy it is for it to slip away.

Douglas Adams said "Time is an illusion - lunchtime doubly so." And, although this appears to be nothing more than a throwaway line from one of his Hitchhiker's Guide characters, it's remarkably astute.

When you think about it, time is a ridiculously bizarre concept. Humans have attempted to make some sense of it by dividing into chunks and giving those chunks names like 'Seconds', 'Minutes', 'Hours', 'Days', etc. However, we are the only creatures on earth (that we're aware of) that have done this. (*Surreptitiously looks towards the dolphins*) There is no proof - nor is it potentially possible to prove - that we are correct in this. There is no evidence that time is constant and therefore the sensation of time moving faster and slower could theoretically be correct. 

In fact, it has been proven to be true that time dilation exists due to gravitational forces with atomic clocks at different altitudes being shown to eventually show different times.

Albert Einstein theorised that time is relative to the observer so maybe time is a purely individual experience for everyone.

At the end of the day, time could be said to be nothing more than something we created to make sense of what's around us. 
It could further be pointed out that we humans took the frankly ridiculous idea, not only of portioning out arbitrarily but punishing each other for not abiding by strict limits we set ourselves. As Dave Allen astutely pointed out: 
"You wake to the clock, you go to work to the clock, you clock-in to the clock, you clock out to the clock, you come home to the clock, you eat to the clock, you drink to the clock, you go to bed to the clock, you get up to the clock, you go back to work to the clock... You do that for forty years of your life and you retire — what do they fucking give you? A clock!"

Wednesday, 23 April 2025

They Did Not Start The War - !!!NEW!!!

I'm amazed satirists still have employment - you'd think the situation in the US is beyond anything any comedy writer could think to come up with. Like Trump's bizarre claim about who's responsible for the ongoing Ukraine-Russia conflict. Can you imagine a press conference about that in... say... Chicago

They Both Reached For The Gun They Did Not Start The War not from Chicago
Announcer: Mr Donald Trump and the press conference sham
Notice his Nazi never shows
Almost
Press: Where's he come from?
Trump: Soviet Ukraine
Press: And his problem?
Trump: War with Russia
Press: Why’s he here now?
Trump: To get our help
And we will grant him one more chance
Vance: If he will dance to Putin’s dance!
Press: When did it start?
Trump: 2022
Press: 3 years ago?
Trump: If you say so
Press: Who’s his rival?
Trump: That’d be Putin
He just wants what he does lack
To get his entire empire back
Journalist: Oh, you dumb slob, I can't believe what you've up to
You really think that we will believe what
you tell us Donny
So who’s Putin?
Trump: Russia’s leader
Press: Why'd you like him?
Trump: He’s a genius
Press: Are you serious?
Trump: Absolutely
He is so smart, he’s so savvy
Vance: And he’ll trounce Zelenskyy’s army
Press: Why d’you want that?
Trump: It’s what’s for the best
Press: Best for who though?
Trump: Best for US
Press: Will you help him?
Trump: If he helps us
Vance: They signed a deal they knew the score
Trump: And yet Ukraine started the war
Oh yes, oh yes, oh yes Ukraine
Oh yes Ukraine
Oh yes, Ukraine started
The war, the war, the war, the war
Oh yes, Ukraine started the war
Start the war
Press: Oh no, oh no, oh no Ukraine
Oh no, Ukraine
Oh no, Ukraine (did) not start
The war, the war, the war, the war
Oh no, Ukraine (did) not start the war
Start the war
Trump: Understandable, understandable
No, it's not at all understandable
Reprehensible, Reprehensible
Not a bit comprehensible
It's not defensible!
Press: What’re you doing?
Trump: What I’m told to
Press: Er.. I’m sorry?
Trump: Yeah you heard me
Press: What's your statement?
Trump: What I want is
Zelenskyy to do his bit
And make a new ceasefire a hit
Press: ‘Cause?
Trump: It’s best for him
Press: Why?
Trump: ‘Cause he can’t win
Press: Why?
Trump: We won’t let him
Press: What?
Trump: Not no more
Press: What? Why?
Trump: That's the thought that
Press: Yeah?
Trump: Came upon me
Press: When?
Trump: When Ukraine started the war!
Journalist: Understandable, understandable
No, it's not at all understandable
Reprehensible, Reprehensible
Not a bit comprehensible
It's not defensible!
Press: Oh no, oh no, oh no, Ukraine
Oh no, Ukraine
Oh no, Ukraine (did) not start
Trump: No – that’s not it!
Press: The war, the war, the war, the war
Oh no, Ukraine (did) not start the war
Start the war
Trump: You’re not listening!
Press: Oh no, oh no, oh no, Ukraine
Oh no, Ukraine
Oh no, Ukraine (did) not start (Oh no)
The war, the war, the war, the war
Oh no, Ukraine (did) not start the war
Start the war (Now you've got it!)
Oh no, oh no, oh no, Ukraine
Oh no, Ukraine
Oh no, Ukraine (did) not start
The war, the war, the war, the war
Oh no, Ukraine (did) not start the war
Start the war
Oh no, oh no, oh no, Ukraine
Oh no, Ukraine, oh no, Ukraine (did) no start
The war, the war, the war, the war
The war, the war, the war, the war
The war, the war, the war, the war
The war, the war, the war, the war
Trump: They started the
War
Press: (The war, the war, the war, the war)
(The war, the war, the war, the war)
(The war, the war, the war, the war)
(The war, the war, the war, the war)
(They didn’t start the war!)

Wednesday, 16 April 2025

I'm A Timelord - !!!NEW!!!

So I've been very busy meeting a certain 4th Doctor(!) so naturally another Whovian themed parody was required.

I'm Like A Bird I'm A Timelord not by Nelly Furtado
I’ve saved the earth so many times
And yet I never stayed
If I am asked I will decline
My welcome won’t be outstayed 

But I will always help
And I will always care

I’m a Timelord, I upped and ran away
I still know where my home is (home is)
And I know what alone is
But all that you need to know is

I’m a Timelord, I upped and ran away
I still know where my home is (home is)
And I know what alone is
But all that you need to know is

I’ll do my best to fight your fears (ah)
Defeat those who bring you tears, tears
But my time with you is soon gone
‘Cause my life continues/journey carries on

But I will always help
And I will always care

I’m a Timelord, I upped and ran away
I still know where my home is (home is)
And I know what alone is
But what it is all that you need to know is

I’m a Timelord, I upped and ran away
I still know where my home is (home is)
And I know what alone is
But all that you need to know is

It's not that I don’t want to stick ‘round, it's just that every time I’ve found
A human I fall in love with (oh, oh)
Each and every single time, I know I will have to eventually try
To say goodbye, yeah, yeah

But I will always help
And I will always care

And if you’re scared
Know we will get through
Yeah, yeah-yeah, yeah

I’m a Timelord, I upped and ran away
I still know where my home is (home is)
And I know what alone is
But what it is all that you need to know is

I’m a Timelord, I upped and ran away
I still know where my home is (home is)
And I know what alone is
But what it is all that you need to know is

I’m a Timelord, I upped and ran away
I still know where my home is (home is)
And I know what alone is
But what it is all that you need to know is

I’m a Timelord, I upped and ran away
I still know where my home is (home is)
And I know what alone is
But what it is all that you need to know is

I’m a Timelord, I upped and ran away
I still know where my home is (home is)
And I know what alone is
But what it is all that you need to know is

I’m a Timelord, I upped and ran away
I still know where my home is (home is)
And I know what alone is
But what it is all that you need to know is

I’m a Timelord

Monday, 31 March 2025

From The Mind of Merc - Trump's Achievements

Sometimes I find my mind wandering over various eclectic topics and occasionally I am inspired to write some of them down. Today (and a lot of days tbh) I was thinking about everything Donald Trump has 'achieved' as President.

There was summed up in a post that listed these and ran like this:
"I owe my Trump-supporting acquaintances an apology. I’ve been critical of the Trump presidency since 2016, and am still exhausted from the experience. But to be fair, President Trump wasn’t that bad, other than when he incited an insurrection against the government, mismanaged a pandemic that killed nearly half a million Americans, separated children from their families, lost those children in the bureaucracy, tear-gassed peaceful protesters on Lafayette Square so he could hold a photo op holding a Bible in front of a church, tried to block all Muslims from entering the country, got impeached, got impeached again, had the worst jobs record of any president in modern history, pressured Ukraine to dig dirt on Joe Biden, fired the FBI director for investigating his ties to Russia, bragged about firing the FBI director on TV, took Vladimir Putin’s word over the US intelligence community, diverted military funding to build his wall, caused the longest government shutdown in US history, called Black Lives Matter a “symbol of hate,” lied nearly 30,000 times, banned transgender people from serving in the military, ejected reporters from the White House briefing room who asked tough questions, vetoed the defense funding bill because it renamed military bases named for Confederate soldiers, refused to release his tax returns, increased the national debt by nearly $8 trillion, had three of the highest annual trade deficits in U.S. history, called veterans and soldiers who died in combat losers and suckers, coddled the leader of Saudi Arabia after he ordered the execution and dismembering of a US-based journalist, refused to concede the 2020 election, hired his unqualified daughter and son-in-law to work in the White House, walked out of an interview with Lesley Stahl, called neo-Nazis “very fine people,” suggested that people should inject bleach into their bodies to fight COVID, abandoned our allies the Kurds to Turkey, pushed through massive tax cuts for the wealthiest but balked at helping working Americans, incited anti-lockdown protestors in several states at the height of the pandemic, withdrew the US from the Paris climate accords, withdrew the US from the Iranian nuclear deal, withdrew the US from the Trans Pacific Partnership which was designed to block China’s advances, insulted his own Cabinet members on Twitter, pushed the leader of Montenegro out of the way during a photo op, failed to reiterate US commitment to defending NATO allies, called Haiti and African nations “shithole” countries, called the city of Baltimore the “worst in the nation,” claimed that he single-handedly brought back the phrase “Merry Christmas” even though it hadn’t gone anywhere, forced his Cabinet members to praise him publicly like some cult leader, believed he should be awarded the Nobel Peace Prize, berated and belittled his hand-picked Attorney General when he recused himself from the Russia probe, suggested the US should buy Greenland, colluded with Mitch McConnell to push through federal judges and two Supreme Court justices after supporting efforts to prevent his predecessor from appointing judges, repeatedly called the media “enemies of the people,” claimed that if we tested fewer people for COVID we’d have fewer cases, violated the emoluments clause, thought that Nambia was a country, told Bob Woodward in private that the coronavirus was a big deal but then downplayed it in public, called his exceedingly faithful vice president a “p---y” for following the Constitution, nearly got us into a war with Iran after threatening them by tweet, nominated a corrupt head of the EPA, nominated a corrupt head of HHS, nominated a corrupt head of the Interior Department, nominated a corrupt head of the USDA, praised dictators and authoritarians around the world while criticizing allies, refused to allow the presidential transition to begin, insulted war hero John McCain – even after his death, spent an obscene amount of time playing golf after criticizing Barack Obama for playing (far less) golf while president, falsely claimed that he won the 2016 popular vote, called the Muslim mayor of London a “stone cold loser,” falsely claimed that he turned down being Time’s Man of the Year, considered firing special counsel Robert Mueller on several occasions, mocked wearing face masks to guard against transmitting COVID, locked Congress out of its constitutional duty to confirm Cabinet officials by hiring acting ones, used a racist dog whistle by calling COVID the “China virus,” hired and associated with numerous shady figures that were eventually convicted of federal offenses including his campaign manager and national security adviser, pardoned several of his shady associates, gave the Presidential Medal of Freedom to two congressman who amplified his batshit crazy conspiracy theories, got into telephone fight with the leader of Australia(!), had a Secretary of State who called him a moron, forced his press secretary to claim without merit that his was the largest inauguration crowd in history, botched the COVID vaccine rollout, tweeted so much dangerous propaganda that Twitter eventually banned him, charged the Secret Service jacked-up rates at his properties, constantly interrupted Joe Biden in their first presidential debate, claimed that COVID would “magically” disappear, called a U.S. Senator “Pocahontas,” used his Twitter account to blast Nordstrom when it stopped selling Ivanka’s merchandise, opened up millions of pristine federal lands to development and drilling, got into a losing tariff war with China that forced US taxpayers to bail out farmers, claimed that his losing tariff war was a win for the US, ignored or didn’t even take part in daily intelligence briefings, blew off honoring American war dead in France because it was raining, redesigned Air Force One to look like the Trump Shuttle, got played by Kim Jung Un and his “love letters,” threatened to go after social media companies in clear violation of the Constitution, botched the response to Hurricane Maria in Puerto Rico, threw paper towels at Puerto Ricans when he finally visited them, pressured the governor and secretary of state of Georgia to “find” him votes, thought that the Virgin Islands had a President, drew on a map with a Sharpie to justify his inaccurate tweet that Alabama was threatened by a hurricane, allowed White House staff to use personal email accounts for official businesses after blasting Hillary Clinton for doing the same thing, rolled back regulations that protected the public from mercury and asbestos, pushed regulators to waste time studying snake-oil remedies for COVID, rolled back regulations that stopped coal companies from dumping waste into rivers, held blatant campaign rallies at the White House, tried to take away millions of Americans’ health insurance because the law was named for a Black man, refused to attend his successors’ inauguration, nominated the worst Education Secretary in history, threatened judges who didn’t do what he wanted, attacked Dr. Anthony Fauci, promised that Mexico would pay for the wall (it didn’t), allowed political hacks to overrule government scientists on major reports on climate change and other issues, struggled navigating a ramp after claiming his opponent was feeble, called an African-American Congresswoman “low IQ,” threatened to withhold federal aid from states and cities with Democratic leaders, went ahead with rallies filled with maskless supporters in the middle of a pandemic, claimed that legitimate investigations of his wrongdoing were “witch hunts,” seemed to demonstrate a belief that there were airports during the American Revolution, demanded “total loyalty” from the FBI director, praised a conspiracy theory that Democrats are Satanic pedophiles, completely gutted the Voice of America, placed a political hack in charge of the Postal Service, claimed without evidence that the Obama administration bugged Trump Tower, suggested that the US should allow more people from places like Norway into the country, suggested that COVID wasn’t that bad because he recovered with the help of top government doctors and treatments not available to the public, overturned energy conservation standards that even industry supported, reduced the number of refugees the US accepts, insulted various members of Congress and the media with infantile nicknames, gave Rush Limbaugh a Presidential medal of Freedom at the State of the Union address, named as head of federal personnel a 29-year old who’d previously been fired from the White House for allegations of financial improprieties, eliminated the White House office of pandemic response, used soldiers as campaign props, fired any advisor who made the mistake of disagreeing with him, demanded the Pentagon throw him a Soviet-style military parade, hired a shit ton of white nationalists, politicized the civil service, did absolutely nothing after Russia hacked the U.S. government, falsely said the Boy Scouts called him to say his bizarre Jamboree speech was the best speech ever given to the Scouts, claimed that Black people would overrun the suburbs if Biden won, insulted reporters of color, insulted women reporters, insulted women reporters of color, suggested he was fine with China’s oppression of the Uighurs, attacked the Supreme Court when it ruled against him, summoned Pennsylvania state legislative leaders to the White House to pressure them to overturn the election, spent countless hours every day watching Fox News, refused to allow his administration to comply with Congressional subpoenas, hired Rudy Giuliani as his lawyer, tried to punish Amazon because the Jeff Bezos-owned Washington Post wrote negative stories about him, acted as if the Attorney General of the United States was his personal attorney, attempted to get the federal government to defend him in a libel lawsuit from a women who accused him of sexual assault, held private meetings with Vladimir Putin without staff present, didn’t disclose his private meetings with Vladimir Putin so that the US had to find out via Russian media, stopped holding press briefings for months at a time, “ordered” US companies to leave China even though he has no such power, led a political party that couldn’t even be bothered to draft a policy platform, claimed preposterously that Article II of the Constitution gave him absolute powers, tried to pressure the U.K. to hold the British Open at his golf course, suggested that the government nuke hurricanes, suggested that wind turbines cause cancer, said that he had a special aptitude for science, fired the head of election cyber security after he said that the 2020 election was secure, blurted out classified information to Russian officials, tried to force the G7 to hold their meeting at his failing golf resort in Florida, fired the acting attorney general when she refused to go along with his unconstitutional Muslim travel ban, hired Stephen Miller, openly discussed national security issues in the dining room at Mar-a-Lago where everyone could hear them, interfered with plans to relocate the FBI because a new development there might compete with his hotel, abandoned Iraqi refugees who’d helped the U.S. during the war, tried to get Russia back into the G7, held a COVID super spreader event in the Rose Garden, seemed to believe that Frederick Douglass is still alive, lost 60 election fraud cases in court including before judges he had nominated, falsely claimed that factories were reopening when they weren’t, shamelessly exploited terror attacks in Europe to justify his anti-immigrant policies, still hasn’t come up with a healthcare plan, still hasn’t come up with an infrastructure plan despite repeated “Infrastructure Weeks,” forced Secret Service agents to drive him around Walter Reed while contagious with COVID, told the Proud Boys to “stand back and stand by,” withdrew the U.S. from the World Health Organization in the middle of a pandemic, did so few of his duties that his press staff were forced to state on his daily schedule “President Trump will work from early in the morning until late in the evening. He will make many calls and have many meetings,” allowed his staff to repeatedly violate the Hatch Act, seemed not to know that Abraham Lincoln was a Republican, stood before sacred CIA wall of heroes and bragged about his election win, constantly claimed he was treated worse than any president which presumably includes four that were assassinated and his predecessor whose legitimacy and birthplace were challenged by a racist reality TV show star named Donald Trump, claimed Andrew Jackson could’ve stopped the Civil War even though he died 16 years before it happened, said that any opinion poll showing him behind was fake, claimed that other countries laughed at us before he became president when several world leaders were literally laughing at him, claimed that the military was out of ammunition before he became President, created a commission to whitewash American history, retweeted anti-Islam videos from one of the most racist people in Britain, claimed ludicrously that the Pulse nightclub shooting wouldn’t have happened if someone there had a gun even though there was an armed security guard there, hired a senior staffer who cited the non-existent Bowling Green Massacre as a reason to ban Muslims, had a press secretary who claimed that Nazi Germany never used chemical weapons even though every sane human being knows they used gas to kill millions of Jews and others, bilked the Secret Service for higher than market rates when they had to stay at Trump properties, apparently sold pardons on his way out of the White House, stripped protective status from 59,000 Haitians, falsely claimed Biden wanted to defund the police, said that the head of the CDC didn’t know what he was talking about, tried to rescind protection from DREAMers, gave himself an A+ for his handling of the pandemic, tried to start a boycott of Goodyear tires due to an Internet hoax, said U.S. rates of COVID would be lower if you didn’t count blue states, deported U.S. veterans who served their country but were undocumented, claimed he did more for African Americans than any president since Lincoln, touted a “super-duper” secret “hydrosonic” missile which may or may not be a new “hypersonic” missile or may not exist at all, retweeted a gif calling Biden a pedophile, forced through security clearances for his family, suggested that police officers should rough up suspects, suggested that Biden was on performance-enhancing drugs, tried to stop transgender students from being able to use school bathrooms in line with their gender, suggested the US not accept COVID patients from a cruise ship because it would make US numbers look higher, nominated a climate change skeptic to chair the committee advising the White House on environmental policy, retweeted a video doctored to look like Biden had played a song called “Fuck tha Police” at a campaign event, accused Democrats of “treason” for not applauding his State of the Union address, claimed that the FBI failed to capture the Parkland school shooter because they were “spending too much time” on Russia, mocked the testimony of Dr. Christine Blasey Ford when she accused Brett Kavanaugh of sexual assault, obsessed over low-flow toilets, ordered the re-release of more COVID vaccines when there weren’t any to release, called for the construction of a bizarre garden of heroes with statutes of famous dead Americans as well as at least one Canadian (Alex Trebek), hijacked Washington’s July 4th celebrations to give a partisan speech, took advice from the MyPillow guy, claimed that migrants seeking a better life in the US were dangerous caravans of drug dealers and rapists, said nothing when Vladimir Putin poisoned a leading opposition figure, never seemed to heed the advice of his wife’s “Be Best” campaign, falsely claimed that mail-in voting is fraudulent, announced a precipitous withdrawal of troops from Syria which not only handed Russia and ISIS a win but also prompted his defense secretary to resign in protest, insulted the leader of Canada, insulted the leader of France, insulted the leader of Britain, insulted the leader of Germany, insulted the leader of Sweden, falsely claimed credit for getting NATO members to increase their share of dues, blew off two Asia summits even though they were held virtually, continued lying about spending lots of time at Ground Zero with 9/11 responders, said that the Japanese would sit back and watch their “Sony televisions” if the US were ever attacked, left a NATO summit early in a huff, stared directly into an eclipse even though everyone over the age of 5 knows not to do that, called himself a very stable genius despite significant evidence to the contrary, refused to commit to a peaceful transfer of power and kept his promise, and a whole bunch of other things I can’t remember at the moment. Did I mention that he attempted a coup??? But other than that..."(Whoever wrote this deserves credit, but the author is unknown.)

But that was before he returned, surely he can't have done much in just 2 months... except:
Gave DOGE access to government payment systems, pardoned the Jan 6 rioters, insisted sex can be defined as only Male or Female on official documents, barred transgender people from serving in the military, banned trans athletes from women’s sports, ended and banned all diversity, equity, inclusion and accessibility programs, policies and mandates and directed the government to terminate all positions related to DEI, revoked birthright citizenship – directly violating the 14th Amendment of the U.S. Constitution, froze foreign aid and shut down USAID, enacted a 25% tariff on goods from Canada and Mexico… and then exempted some goods from those tariffs when this proved disastrous, rolled back key patient protections and healthcare regulations, withdrew the US from the World Health Organization, withdrew the US from Paris Climate Accords, withdrew the U.S. from the United Nations Human Rights Council, authorised economic sanctions of the International Criminal Court, rolled back decades of environmental protection laws including eliminating the Biden administration's emissions standards, attacked the Department of Education and attempted to get it shut down, invoked the Alien Enemies Act of 1798 which allows people to be arrested with no due process (See Mahmoud Khalil), created a huge detention facility at Guantánamo Bay to hold up to 30,000 immigrants – but which is being used to ‘inhumanely’ detain legal citizens (see Jasmine Mooney and Fabian Schmidt), paused enforcement of the Foreign Corrupt Practices Act, which bars American individuals and companies from bribing foreign governments to obtain or retain business, directed federal employees not to interpret federal law counter to the president or attorney general's opinion, defended the use of capital punishment "where possible", revoked security clearances for Biden, Harris & Hilary Clinton, reverted the name of Denali to Mount McKinley and renamed the Gulf of Mexico as the Gulf of America, stated plans to make Canada the 51st state and buy Greenland, unnecessarily sent more water to California to combat wildfires by circumventing federal and state laws dealing with California's water system, banned ‘forced’ use of paper straws claiming on occasion they “explode.”
And that’s not even half of it!

Sunday, 30 March 2025

Queen Liz - !!!NEW!!!

I'm at a Tudor event today so, again, a parody song with a suitable theme was required.

Bang Bang Queen Liz not by Jessie J, Ariana Grande & Nicki Minaj
She was the second daughter (of) a king
But her life would not be an easy time
She survived such a lot of trouble and
Soon you’ll see that it will be her turn to shine oh 

She’s been waiting for her
Time to fine’ly occur
See everybody that now bows to her
She is the sole Queen of all England, yeah

Queen Liz there she goes now (she has reached the top)
Queen Liz ruling the town (the cream of the crop)
She’s in charge and there is no other (ah-ooh)
She’s in charge of you (ah, hey)

Queen Liz sits on the throne (you know she earned it)
Queen Liz she rules alone (nobody will take it)
She’s in charge and there is no other (ah-ooh)
She’s in charge of you (ah, hey)

You might've thought she didn’t stand a chance
After her dad said she’s a bastard
But she will prove now just how wrong you are
Because she is now here to stay for good, oh

She is now the only in thing
She does not need a king
See everybody that now bows to her
She is the sole Queen of all England, yeah

Queen Liz there she goes now (she has reached the top)
Queen Liz ruling the town (the cream of the crop)
She’s in charge and there is no other (ah-ooh)
She’s in charge of you (ah, hey)

Queen Liz sits on the throne (you know she earned it)
Queen Liz she rules alone (nobody will take it)
She’s in charge and there is no other (ah-ooh)
She’s in charge of you (ah, hey)

The Virgin Queen, she’s brand new on the scene
She’s wants to know she’s seen, and how, how
Dripping in jewellery, so many gems it’s scary
Clearly not ordinary – oh wow wow
She’s now the boss, doesn’t give a toss
If you want a Protestant on the throne
What she says it goes, Queen Liz clearly knows
Just how to strike a pose, and it shows

She’s the queen of the castle, she won’t tolerate hassle
You have no chance to tussle, need to accept you’re her vassal
Do not fight her, or flight her, don’t fright her, or smite her
If you want to survive her reign then you better not spite her

T and a U and a D and a O and a R-
T and a U and a D and a O and a R-
See everybody that now bows to her
She is the sole Queen of all England, yeah

England, hey (okay)

Queen Liz there she goes now (she has reached the top)
Queen Liz ruling the town (the cream of the crop)
She’s in charge and there is no other (ah-ooh)
She’s in charge of you (ah, hey)
 

Queen Liz sits on the throne (you know she earned it)
Queen Liz she rules alone (nobody will take it)
She’s in charge and there is no other (ah-ooh)
She’s in charge of you (ah, hey)

Queen Liz there she goes now (she has reached the top)
Queen Liz ruling the town (the cream of the crop)

Yes, I said, queen, queen, queen, q- queen, queen
Queen, queen, queen, queen, q- queen, queen

Queen Liz sits on the throne (you know she earned it)
Queen Liz she rules alone (nobody will take it)
She’s in charge and there is no other (ah-ooh)
She’s in charge of you (ah, hey)

Saturday, 29 March 2025

Gallifrey - !!!NEW!!!

I'm at a Comic Con event today with my fellow Whovians so naturally today's post has to have a matching theme.

Yesterday Gallifrey not by Paul McCartney
Gallifrey – that was where I once began my day.             
But it was soon clear I couldn’t stay.
Still it’s my home, is Gallifrey.

Yet you see their methods didn’t agree with me.
Couldn’t leave events to destiny.
So Gallifrey was not for me.

So I chose to go
Though the thought it caused dismay.
It’s now been so long.
And I miss my Gallifrey.

Gallifrey – was somewhere from which I wouldn’t stray.
Now it’s somewhere that’s so far away.
Yet I remember Gallifrey

Yes I chose to go
Though the thought it caused dismay.
It’s now been so long.
And I miss my Gallifrey.

Gallifrey – was somewhere from which I wouldn’t stray.
Now it’s somewhere that’s so far away.
Yet I remember Gallifrey