Friday 31 May 2024

From The Mind of Merc - The Tudor Dynasty Portrait

Sometimes I find my mind wandering over various eclectic topics and occasionally I am inspired to write some of them down. Today I was thinking about the Dynasty or Succession portrait of Henry VIII which was painted c.1545.

In it, Henry is shown seated between his son, Edward, and his third wife, Jane Seymour, with his two other daughters – Mary and Elizabeth – depicted either side of the painting.

What is perhaps odd about this is that, at the time, Henry was actually married to Catherine Parr – his sixth wife. Although the replacement can be understandable given that Jane was the mother of Edward – his one son and heir – what intrigued me was Jane’s clothing.

The most well-known image of Jane Seymour is the ornate and detailed portrait by Hans Holbein the Younger which shows her attired in a rich red velvet gown whereas in the dynasty portrait she wears what is presumably a cloth of gold gown.

While there is a secondary posthumous image of Jane dressed in a gold gown, there is also a portrait of Catherine Parr (previously misidentified as Lady Jane Grey) in which she wears clothing which bears a striking resemblance to that worn by Jane Seymour in the dynasty painting – gold gown with ermine(?) sleeves and a red kirtle and foresleeves – even the pendant is identical (although this is likely due to it probably being a piece from the queen’s jewellery). 

Given the date of this portrait is also c.1545, it suggests that it is Catherine who is being depicted in – and presumably who sat for – the image and Jane’s head was superimposed at Henry’s instruction(?) – i.e. if the gold gown was not a hand-me-down to Catherine from a previous queen, then it is an item that belonged to, and was worn, by her and not Jane.

Associated with this is the fact that Jane and Catherine share several striking similarities:-
1.       Both women married Henry VIII (obviously) after his previous wife was executed:
       -      Jane’s marriage was on 30th May 1536 – 11 days after Anne Boleyn’s execution)
       -      Catherine’s marriage was on 12th July 1543 – 5 months after Catherine Howard’s execution)

2.       They both faced uncertainty and danger during their time as queen (and both ‘learned their lesson’):
       -      Jane attempted to speak up for the rebels of the Pilgrimage of Grace and was told to “Remember Anne” – she did and refrained from repeating her ‘error’
       -      Catherine had an arrest warrant issued for her following an argument – fortunately she learned of this and was able to dissuade the king from enacting it
3.       Both had only 1 child:
       -      Jane’s son, Edward, was born 12th October 1537
       -      Catherine’s daughter, Mary, was born 30th August 1548
4.       They both died shortly after the birth of their only child – presumably of ‘childbed’ or puerperal fever:
       -      Jane died 12 days after the birth of her son on 24th October 1537
       -      Catherine died 6 days after the birth of her daughter on 5th September 1548
5.       Both of their children died young:
       -      Edward died aged 15 on 6th July 1553
       -      Mary is believed to have died around the age of 2 as no record of her exists after this time
6.       And, finally, they effectively ended up being related given Catherine’s last husband was Thomas Seymour – Jane’s brother.

Thursday 23 May 2024

Fitzroy Fitzroy

And here's the second - reverting to my familiar Tudor theme and reusing a Bowie classic.

Rebel Rebel Fitzroy Fitzroy not by David Bowie
Doo doo doo-doo doo doo doo doo
Doo doo doo-doo doo doo doo doo
Doo doo doo-doo doo doo doo doo 

Born the son of King Henry eight
Was thrilled with you he thought you were so great
A son, that’s just the thing
A son, to please this king
Needs a prince, for the fam’ly line
Just a daughter after all this time
Then you come and he claims to know
Exactly where the blame should go
It must be down to Aragon
You just watch, soon she’ll be gone

Fitzroy Fitzroy, the king’s bastard
Fitzroy Fitzroy, you’re his flesh and blood
Fitzroy Fitzroy, a shining star
Duke of Richmond you are!
 

Oh yeah!
Doo doo doo-doo doo doo doo doo
 

Born the son of King Henry eight
Was thrilled with you he thought you were so great
A son, that’s just the thing
A son, to please this king
Needs a prince, for the fam’ly line
Just a daughter after all this time
Then you come and he claims to know
Exactly where the blame should go
It must be down to Aragon
You just watch, soon she’ll be gone
 

Fitzroy Fitzroy, the king’s bastard
Fitzroy Fitzroy, you’re his child preferred/flesh and blood
Fitzroy Fitzroy, a shining star
Duke of Richmond you are!

Oh yeah!
Oh!
Doo doo doo-doo doo doo doo doo
Doo doo doo-doo doo doo doo doo
 

Fitzroy Fitzroy, the king’s bastard
Fitzroy Fitzroy, you’re his flesh and blood
Fitzroy Fitzroy, a shining star
Duke of Richmond you are!

The king’s bastard, his flesh and blood
The one he accepts, the one he thinks is good
Because you proved that he could father sons
He’ll give you titles and money and land
Who knows what other things the king has planned
You’re the king’s bastard
And you’re his child preferred
Because you’re his flesh and blood
But it won’t be long
Until your swan song
 

‘Cause soon you’ve got to go
A short lived child, uh-huh, uh-huh
Soon you’ve gotta go
When you are just nineteen, you’ll have to leave the scene
You’re the king’s bastard
And you’re his flesh and blood
Ooh, you’re his flesh and blood
Ooh, ooh, but you’ve got to go
Eh, eh, you’ve got to go
Eh, eh

Friday 10 May 2024

Six Fingered Killer - !!!NEW!!!

Welcome to the first of May's posts. And here we have a number which I first heard on the Goon Show reworked to reference a classic cult villain.

Three Handed Woman Six Fingered Killer not by Louis Prima
He’s a six fingered killer, a six fingered killer
He’s got a thumb, a pinkie, (and) four other fingers too
He’s a six fingered killer and you know just what to do
Yeah he’s a six fingered killer and he ain’t done good to you 

When you were just a child he came to visit your home
He’d heard about the skills your dad spent years trying to hone
He wanted a brand new sword and they agreed on a price
But when he came back to get it, he was not so nice.

He’s a six fingered killer and you know just what to do
Yeah he’s a six fingered killer and he ain’t done good to you

He wanted his new sword but, he didn’t want to pay it’s worth
When your dad refused he stabbed him and left him there in the dirt
You tried to get your own back but he won and he left you scarred
But you still seek your revenge for it from Humperdinck’s guard

He’s a six fingered killer and you know just what to do
Yeah he’s a six fingered killer and he ain’t done good to you

Now with Westley and with Fezzik you’ve a chance to right the wrong
For thinking that your dad would let it just go for a song
He turned your whole world upside down, now it’s time he paid his due
So take that sword he won’t pay for and then run him through

Yeah he’s a six fingered killer and he ain’t done good to you
You’ve no money, no power, but you can start anew