So Long And Thanks For Nothing - Mercorabilia

 He's gone! Hurray! That calls for a song.

So Long And Thanks For All The Fish Nothing not from Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy 
So long and thanks for nothing mate
So sad that this has come too late
We all have wanted you out for years

You never did earn our respect
Because we never did detect
A shred of integrity or
Worth within you

So long, so long and thanks
for nothing mate

The country has been left destroyed
And that has made us all annoyed
Because it was your job to stop this happening

Despite your Brexit promises
It seems your real legacy is
A weakened economy and thou
sands of lives lost

So long, so long, so long, so long, so long
So long, so long, so long, so long, so long

So long, so long and thanks
for nothing mate 

If we could have one more wish
It would be to eject Rish(i)
If we could just learn one thing
It's to not vote Tories in

Come join our song
Boris is gone
That's a cause for celebration 

(oooohhh oooohhh oooaahhhhh- ah ahh)

So long, so long, so long, so long, so long
So long, so long, so long, so long, so long

So long, so long and, Thanks!
for nothing mate!

Turbulent Priest sketch - Mercorabilia

Thomas Becket, Archbishop of Canterbury, was murdered on the orders of King Henry II in 1170. But did Henry really mean it?  

Knight: My lord.
King: Ah, it’s my loyal band of knights. Where have you been?
Knight: On our latest quest, my lord. As you ordered?
King: Er… as I ordered?
Knight: Yes – we heard your command, my king, and we hurried to Canterbury to obey it.
King: Right. And… er… what order might that have been?
Knight: You said you wanted someone to get rid of a troublesome clergyman.
King: Did I?
Knight: You did. We all heard you – you said, “Will no one rid me of this turbulent priest?” So…
King: Ah. I see the problem. I only said that because I was really angry with him. But it was a heat of the moment thing. I didn’t actually mean it.
Knight: Oh. Well, I wish you’d let us know that before.
King: Before?
Knight: Well, you said you wanted to him dealt with.
King: Uh-huh.
Knight: So we have.
King: What do mean you have?
Knight: We killed him.
King: You did what?
Knight: Killed him. You wanted rid. So we got rid.
King: You killed an archbishop.
Knight: You told us too.
King: No I didn’t!
Knight: Well, we thought you did.
King: Oh, for pity’s sake. I didn’t mean… If I said I wanted you to jump off a cliff….
Knight: If you insist, sire. Boys – new mission. Let’s go!
King: No, no, come back. I wasn’t being serious… Surely you can tell the difference between a fit of pique and a royal command.
Knight: It’s not our duty to question orders, my lord. If someone says they want someone to rid them of a turbulent priest then what else are we supposed to assume except that you want someone to rid you of a turbulent priest.
(King: Well, I think that’s proves what happens when you assume something – you make an ass out of u and me.
Knight: I wouldn’t say we made an ass of him. More of a shish kebab.)
King: But they weren’t orders. They were just… oh, I don’t know. Now what am I going to do about all this mess?
Knight: Oh, I shouldn’t worry about that. I imagine the monks will clean it up.
King: Not that mess, you idiots! Have you any idea how angry the pope’s going to be when he hears about this.
Knight: Well, I don’t suppose he’ll be too pleased.
King: Pleased? I’ll be lucky if I don’t get excommunicated. And you lot will be for it too. You’ll probably be excommunicated as well. If Becket’s followers don’t get hold of you first. An eye for an eye and all that.
Knight: Good point. What are we going to do?
King: Well, I hear Scotland’s very nice this time of year. Better than the local cemetery.
Knight: Right, sire. Boys – good news – the boss has decided to give us a holiday. The bad news is we need to take it now. And fast. Scarper!
King: What a knightmare!

From The Mind of Merc - Inefficacy

 Sometimes I find my mind wandering over various eclectic topics and occasionally I am inspired to write some of them down. Bit late with this month's so I'll keep it short but today I was thinking about the inefficacy of the UK government.

We live in a country crippled by inflation which when compared with the improved state of the EU countries across the channel only serves to highlight the ineffectual and self-serving we are cursed with.

If members of the public are taking action and doing what the government should be doing, what on earth are we paying MPs £86,584 a year for?