From The Mind of Merc - Choices

Sometimes I find my mind wandering over various eclectic topics and occasionally I am inspired to write some of them down. Today I was thinking about the conundrum facing the enquiry panel - they basically have to decide whether Boris Johnson is an incompetent idiot or a corrupt criminal. Personally, I think the answer is obvious:

Even so, I'm not 100% convinced that a beneficial outcome will be produced whatever they decide as it appears to actually have an effect, his own party (of which 100 MPs backed him to reclaim the Premiership last year) have to agree to apply it. Sounding remarkably reminiscent of the attempt to impeach Trump - can only work if his own party are against him. 

It also doesn't help that the current incumbent is undoubtedly not any better seeing as how he appears to believe his having a heated swimming pool is more important than the people he is supposed to represent being able to eat(!)
Not to mention his disparaging of policies which turn out in fact to have been Tory-instigated and led - like the time he expounded the virtues benefits of being in the EU - talk about facepalm moment.
Plus his apparent conviction that answering questions to his own satisfaction is adequate for everyone else. Guess again.

There may be some sheeple in this world but they are not the majority. Neither are the Tory supporters as it has previously been reported that the majority votes any recent Tory stunt or election has garnered have been as protest votes against other choices (such as the referendum and the last election which is not only stupid and short-sighted but catastrophically damaging) rather than the voters actually choosing or preferring the Tory option.

I hope and pray that when we next have a choice come the next election that these self-serving money grubbing lawbreakers will be firmly and unequivocally shown the door and we can start repairing the country the Tories have spent the past 13 years systematically destroying for their own ends.

I have said this so many times but feel it needs saying again:

THE TORIES ARE NOT YOUR FRIENDS. 

Please repeat as necessary until the message sinks in.

Fairest Of Them All Award - Mercorabilia

It's quite an interesting title to claim isn't it - Fairest of them all. What if there was an actual competition...? 

Reporter: And I’m here with the Queen who is the current holder of the title ‘Fairest of them all’ and… no.. wait, I’m sorry – I’m just being told it seems there is a new contender for the title. And it’s none other than the Queen’s own stepdaughter – Princess Snow White!
Queen: Snow White? That little upstart! She’s not the fairest of them all. She doesn’t even compare. I mean her skin is so ridiculously pale it’s…
Reporter: (dreamily) White as snow.
Queen: Clearly a sign she’s sickening for something. Obviously diseased. And her lips…
Reporter: (dreamily) Red as blood.
Queen: Exactly – it’s disgusting. And that hair it’s…
Reporter: (dreamily) Black as ebony
Queen: So?
Reporter: I think she’s got a shot.
Queen: (quietly) She soon will do.
Reporter: I’m sorry – did you say something?
Queen: No. No – nothing.
Reporter: Well, there you have it, folks. Even the Queen is left speechless by her beauty.
Queen: That’s it – Huntsman! Bring me the girl’s heart!
Reporter: Well, I think I settles it. You are definitely not the fairest of them all.
Queen: His too.
Reporter: What?

Wye Is It sketch - Mercorabilia

I know I've used this sketch before but this idea came into my head a while ago and I haven't been able to shake it. So here it is:

Wye Is It Who’s On First not by Abbott & Costello
Abbott: Did you know that the town I live in is the smallest in England.
Costello: Is that so?
Abbott: Yep. I was reading about it the other day. Smallest in England.
Costello: What’s it called?
Abbott: Wye.
Costello: What?
Abbott: No, not What. Wye.
Costello: Why what?
Abbott: No. I didn’t say what. I said Wye.
Costello: I know. And I said what.
Abbott: Why did you say what?
Costello: Because you said why.
Abbott: So
Costello: So why?
Abbott: Yes.
Costello: What.
Abbott: No not what. Wye.
Costello: Wait a minute. You live in the town?
Abbott: Yes.
Costello: And you don't know the town’s name?
Abbott: Well I should.
Costello: Well then? Tell me.
Abbott: Wye.
Costello: I don’t know. I just thought I’d ask you.
Abbott: I just thought I’d tell you.
Costello: But you’re not telling me.
Abbott: Yes, I am.
Costello: What’s the name of the town you live in.
Abbott: No, it’s not what. It’s Wye.
Costello: Do you want to tell me the name?
Abbott: Sure.
Costello: Well, go ahead.
Abbott: Wye.
Costello: Because you said you wanted to.
Abbott: I do.
Costello: So go ahead.
Abbott: Wye.
Costello: I'm just asking it’s name.
Abbott: That is its name.
Costello: What?
Abbott: No, Wye.
Costello: Just tell me.
Abbott: I did.
Costello: You did?
Abbott: Yes.
Costello: But you… Look, look, look…you know the name of the town?
Abbott: Certainly.
Costello: What is it?
Abbott: No.
Costello: What?
Abbott: No.
Costello: No?
Abbott: No. Wye.
Costello: I don’t know why but you won’t tell me.
Abbott: Won’t tell you what.
Costello: You said it isn’t what.
Abbott: It isn’t what.
Costello: I don’t know. That’s why I’m asking.
Abbott: That’s it.
Costello: That’s what?
Abbott: No. Wye
Costello: Ok. Let’s try again. You said you lived in the smallest town in England.
Abbott: I sure do.
Costello: All I'm trying to find out is the name of this town.
Abbott: Wye.
Costello: Because I want to know.
Abbott: Wye.
Costello: Because you said you’d tell me.
Abbott: And I’m telling you.
Costello: So tell me.
Abbott: Wye.
Costello: Look, all I wanna know is when you said you live in the smallest town in England, how is the town’s name written?
Abbott: Wye.
Costello: I just want to know.
Abbott: And I just want to tell you
Costello: So go ahead and tell me.
Abbott: Wye.
Costello: I don’t know any more.
Abbott: You don’t need to know anymore. I’m telling you.
Costello: Go on then.
Abbott: Wye.
Costello: Why do you keep asking me why?
Abbott: I’m not asking you. I’m telling you. Wye.
Costello: I don’t know. Maybe you just felt like it. Who’s to say why?
Abbott: I did.
Costello: You did what?
Abbott: Say Wye.
Costello: Did you?
Abbott: Yes.
Costello: Well, I never heard you.
Abbott: How can you not have heard? I’m standing right here.
Costello: Well, go ahead and say it again.
Abbott: Wye.
Costello: Because you said you’d said it. And I didn’t hear it. So I asked you to say it again.
Abbott: And I did.
Costello: Well, go on then.
Abbott: Wye.
Costello: Oh for…
Abbott: What's wrong with that?
Costello: All I'm trying to find out is what's the town name where you live.
Abbott: No. What isn’t it.
Costello: I don’t know what isn’t it. How am I supposed to be able to know when you won’t tell me what it is.
Abbott: No. What it isn’t.
Costello: So what is it?
Abbott: No. Wye.
Costello: I don’t know why.
Abbott: Well, I do.
Costello: Good. I’m happy for you.

From The Mind of Merc - Patron Saints

Sometimes I find my mind wandering over various eclectic topics and occasionally I am inspired to write some of them down. Today I was thinking about patron saints. Specifically those of the United Kingdom. Given that today is St David's Day this seemed particularly apposite.

On looking into these figures, 1 thing stood out - St David appears to be unique in being the only patron saint who was actually born in the country he is patron saint of!

Let's look at the stats:

England
- George
- Born in Turkey (to Greek parents)
- Died 23^rd April 303AD
- Famous for: Slaying a dragon that was terrorising a city and saving the life of a princess (this part of his story was added in the 11^th century)
- Actual achievements: Being a Roman soldier who was martyred for being Christian with his execution convincing the Empress to become Christian (she was also executed) 

Scotland

- Andrew

- Born in Galilee, Israel (to Jewish parents)
- Lived 5-60/70 AD
- Famous for: Being crucified on an X-shaped cross (hence the shape on the Scottish flag); a sign of which inspired the victory of Oengus II in 832
- Actual achievements: Being a disciple of Jesus (originally a disciple of John the Baptist) and attending several important occasions mentioned in the Bible 

Wales

- David

- Born in Ceredigion, Wales (to Welsh parents)
- Lived 500 – 1^st March 589 AD
- Famous for: Creating a small hill to form where he stood in Brefi (the village of Llanddewi Brefi now stands on this spot) and having a white dove settle on his shoulder
- Actual achievements: Being a renowned preacher and teacher who founded monastic settlements in Wales and presided over the Synod of Caerleon (or Synod of Victory) 

Ireland

- Patrick

- Born in England (to Roman parents)
- Lived 5^th century
- Famous for: Banishing snakes from Ireland, fasting for 40 days on a mountain and using the shamrock to demonstrate the Holy Trinity of father, son and holy spirit
- Actual achievements: Being kidnapped by pirates aged 16, escaping back to England before returning to Ireland to promote Christianity and eventually become a bishop