From The Mind of Merc - Extinction Rebellion

Sometimes I find my mind wandering over various eclectic topics and occasionally I am inspired to write some of them down. Today I was thinking about Extinction Rebellion.

Let me just say that I have no objection to what they are trying to achieve – I am all for it. The planet is doomed if we don’t stop destroying it – absolutely.
What I don’t understand is the method they have chosen – namely to inconvenience the everyday man in the street.

Yes – I get that they are trying to cause a disturbance in order to be noticed but surely they are causing a disturbance to the wrong people.
Is it the everyday man in the street who is obstructing change and working to actively prevent the necessary ruled and regulation changes that the group is campaigning for? No. So why on earth does it even to the slightest degree compute that the best thing to do is annoy those people? All that will do is cause antagonism, resentment and even greater opposition to what they are trying to achieve.
It’s like saying you want to stop people chopping down trees so you go and inconvenience Greenpeace.
Or saying you want to put an end to veganism and annoying meat eaters. 

Above all, it is fundamentally contradictory to their desired outcome.
What is the key thing they need to make change happen? Support
How do you get support? By winning people over to your side
How do you not get support? By annoying the people you need to support you. And yet what are they doing?

Please can the movement make the decision to turn their efforts towards disrupting the lives of those in power who have the influence and authority to make the change they want to see happen.
If they’re going to inconvenience someone, it should at least be the people to blame for the inaction. These are the people they should be aiming for and not the other people around them - their fellow victims.
Also, given the current catastrophic state of the government and the increasing antipathy being directed towards this would be a practically guaranteed way to garner support – win-win.
They have the drive, they have the method, all they need now is the direction.

Sue Gray Enquiry sketch - Mercorabilia

Funny sometimes how life can imitate life. The current political situation reminded me of a previous sketch I wrote about the Greek Graying crisis so I thought I’d parody my own work to reflect the situation:

Isn’t the Partygate crisis interesting? Not just for the situation they’re in but their reaction to it – it’s like they’re saying “I want an enquiry but I don’t want an enquiry”. Can you imagine that conversation…

Johnson: I need an enquiry.
Gray: Ok – how soon?
Johnson: Whenever you like.
Gray: And what is this for?
Johnson: Well I’ve got in a bit of situation over a party I had last year when everyone was supposed to be in lockdown and I need it all to go away.
Gray: I see. Well, I’ll conduct the enquiry but only if you agree to my terms.
Johnson: And those are…?
Gray: Cut the bullsh*t, the truth will out and the public gets to see my report in full.
Johnson: But they sound horrible.
Gray: Yes, but with a credibility rating like yours…
Johnson: Hmm. Tell you what. I’ll order the enquiry but only if you agree to my terms. And my terms are that I don’t have to do any of the things you just said.
Gray: I don’t think you understand how this works.
Johnson: But your terms just don’t work for me. And it’s not the way I do things.
Gray: But if you don’t accept the terms the enquiry will be pointless – you won’t be able to hold your head up in public, your credibility rating will be non-existent and any of your subsequent actions or agreements will be worthless.
Johnson: I know – I’ll talk to my people and see what they say.
Gray: About what?
Johnson: Whether or not to do one of your enquiries.
Gray: I don’t think you’re getting this. You need help – even if I did do the enquiry you need help because if you continue the way you have been then you’ll just end up out on your @rse with one of your ‘people’ in your place. And no-one is going to want to help a deceitful, uncompassionate has-been like you.
Johnson: Well, what do you suggest I do?
Gray: Have the enquiry!
Johnson: Why would I want to do that?
Gray: Gaaah! 

The crisis is already starting to impact on the country as their trusty police force is found distinctly wanting. Imagine what this could mean for future crime reports…

Police: Hello. Welcome to The Met. How can I help you?
Victim: I’d like to report a crime.
Police: Sorry – can’t help you.
Victim: What?
Police: We can’t do that.
Victim: Why not?
Police: We don’t investigate historical crimes.
Victim: But you’re the police!
Police: Yes – but  that doesn’t mean we investigate historical crimes.
Victim: Why not?
Police: Lack of evidence. Didn’t you bring any with you?
Victim: I thought as I was reporting the incident to the police that’d be your job.
Police: Ah – classic mistake, that.
Victim: Well, what am I supposed to do?
Police: (after a pause) Have you ever thought of becoming a PI?

I Will Be Queen - !!!NEW!!!

Running a bit behind with this month's but still had to stick to that Tudor theme

All by Myself I Will Be Queen not by Jamie O'Neal

Born a princess
I thought I was meant for greatness
But soon found I was in distress
Felt such unrest

Motherless girl
Father in love with a vile churl
And he forgot his precious pearl
I’m no-one’s girl

Lost my mother
And dad’s in love with another
But my fate she cannot smother
With no brother

I will be queen
Just wait and see, I will be queen on the throne
I will be queen
Just wait you’ll see, I will be queen on the throne

Devout and pure         
Heresy I cannot endure
So England must share my fervour
I will make sure