Alternate Six Lyrics - Anne Boleyn

And here's the second:

Don't Lose Your Head not (entirely) from Six

[Anne Boleyn:]
Grew up in the French court
Oui oui bonjour
Life was a bore
So

[Ensemble:]
She set sail

[Anne Boleyn:]
1522 I came to the UK
Had a Duke in my sway

[Ensemble:]
Epic fail!
Ooh

[Anne Boleyn:]
I wanna do my thing

[Ensemble:]
Modesty

[Anne Boleyn:]
Not my thing

[Ensemble:]
Ooh

[Anne Boleyn:]
But then I met the king
And soon my uncle said
"You should try and get ahead!"
He wanted me, obviously
Messaging me like every day
Couldn't be better then he sent me a letter
And who was he kidding
I don’t do things that way

[Ensemble:]
Ooh

[Anne Boleyn:]
Sent a reply

[Ensemble:]
Ooh

[Anne Boleyn:]
Just saying 'Hi'

[Ensemble:]
Ooh

[Anne Boleyn:]
'You're a nice guy
I'll think about it maybe
XO baby'

[Ensemble:]
Uh oh

[Anne Boleyn:]
Here we go

[Ensemble:]
You sent him kisses

[Anne Boleyn:]
I didn't know I would move in with his missus

[Ensemble:]
What?!

[Anne Boleyn:]
Get a life!

[Ensemble:]
You're living with his wife

[Anne Boleyn:]
Like, what was I meant to do?
Sorry, not sorry 'bout what I said
It seems like my time has come
Don't worry, don't worry
Don't lose your head
Can’t help it if I’m the one
LOL Say 'Oh, well!'
Just go to hell!
I'm sorry, not sorry 'bout what I said
Don't lose your head

Three in the bed
And the little one said
"If you wanna be wed
Make up your mind!"
Her or me, chum
Don't wanna be some
Girl in a threesome
Are you blind?

[Ensemble:]
Ooh

[Anne Boleyn:]
Don't be bitter

[Ensemble:]
Ooh

[Anne Boleyn:]
'Cause I'm fitter

[Ensemble:]
Ooh

[Anne Boleyn:]
Why hasn't it hit her?
He doesn't wanna bang you
Somebody hang you

[Ensemble:]
Uh oh

[Anne Boleyn:]
Here we go

[Ensemble:]
Your comment went viral

[Anne Boleyn:]
I didn't really mean it
But rumours spiral

[Ensemble:]
Wow Anne, way to make the country hate you!

[Anne Boleyn:]
Mate, what was I meant to do?
Sorry, not sorry about what I said
It seems like my time has come
Don't worry, don't worry
Don't lose your head
Can’t help it if I’m the one
LOL Say 'Oh, well!'
Just go to hell!
I'm sorry, not sorry 'bout what I said
Don't lose your head

Tried to elope
But the Pope said 'Nope!'
My only hope was Henry
He got a promotion
Caused a commotion
Set in motion the C of E

[Ensemble:]
The rules

[Anne Boleyn:]
Were so outdated
Us two wanted to get X-rated

[Ensemble:]
Soon
Excommunicated

[Anne Boleyn:]
Everybody chill
It's totes God's will

Henry's out every night on the town
Just sleeping around like "What the hell?"
If that's how it's gonna be
Maybe I'll flirt with a guy or three
Just to make him jel
Henry finds out and he goes mental
He screams and shouts like
So judgemental!
You damned witch
Mate, just shut up!
I wouldn't be such a b...
If you could get it up

[Ensemble:]
Uh oh

[Anne Boleyn:]
Here we go

[Ensemble:]
Is that what you said?

[Anne Boleyn:]
And now he's going 'round like
"Off with her head!"

[Ensemble:]
No!

[Anne Boleyn:]
Yeah, I'm pretty sure he means it

[Ensemble:]
Seems it

[Anne Boleyn:]
What was I meant to do?

[Ensemble:]
What was she meant to do?

[Anne Boleyn:]
Like, what was I meant to do?

[Ensemble:]
What was she meant to do?

[Anne Boleyn:]
No, but what was I meant to do?
Sorry, not sorry about what I said
It seems like my time has come
Don't worry, don't worry
Don't lose your head
Pretty sure I was the one
Don't worry, don't worry
Don't lose my head
Seems like my time is done
LOL (I’ll) Say 'Oh, well!'
Or go to hell!

[Ensemble:]
Just go to hell!

[Anne Boleyn:]
Sorry, not sorry about what I said

[Ensemble:]
Sorry, not sorry about what she said

[Anne Boleyn:]
Sorry, not sorry about what I said
Don't lose my head

Alternate Six Lyrics - Catherine of Aragon

I finally got round to seeing Six last month and, boy - is it fantastic! I was also deeply impressed with how historically accurate it is (I admittedly put off seeing it as I was sure it'd be like the TV series The Tudors or worse Reign). Having said that, there were a few tiny tweaks in the lyrics that I'd make just to tighten that accuracy up even further. So here's the first of them (with the altered lyrics highlighted in bold):

No Way not (entirely) from Six

[Catherine Of Aragon:]
(No no no no no no no way)
There's no way
You must agree that baby
In all the time I've been by your side
I've never lost control
No matter how many times you hurt my pride
Have my golden rule
Got to keep my cool           
Yeah, baby

[Ensemble:]
You know she's got to keep her cool

[Catherine Of Aragon:]
And even though you've had your fun
Running around with some pretty young thing
And even though you've had one son
With someone who don't own a wedding ring
No matter what I heard
I didn't say a word, no, baby

[Ensemble:]
You know she never said a word

[Catherine Of Aragon:]
I put up with your sh...
Like every single day
But now it's time to shh
And listen when I say

You must think that I'm crazy
You wanna replace me baby
There's no no no no no no no way
If you think for a moment
I'd grant you annulment, just hold up
There's no no no no no no no way

No way
No way
There's no no no no no no no way

No way
No way
There's no no no no no no no way

There's no way

So you read a bible verse that I'm cursed
'Cause I was your brothers wife
You say it's a pity 'cause quoting leviticus
I'll end up kiddy-less all my life
Well daddy have a care
‘Cause you’ve forgotten Mary. aw hi baby

[Ensemble:]
Daughters are so easy to forget

[Catherine Of Aragon:]
You're just so full of sh...
It’s not hard to perceive
I won't back down won't shh
And no I'll never leave

You must think that I'm crazy
You wanna replace me baby
There's no no no no no no no way
If you thought it'd be funny to
Send me to a nunnery, honey there's no way

No way
No way
There's no no no no no no no way

No way
No way
There's no no no no no no no way

There's no way
Hey

(Woo)
(Let's go)
(Woo)
(Here we go)

You've got me down on my knees
Please tell me what you think I've done wrong
Been humble, been loyal, I've tried
To swallow my pride all along
If you just say you’re sure
That you think when we wed I wasn’t pure, I'll go

No?

You've got nothing to say
I'm not going away
There's no way

You must think that I'm crazy
You wanna replace me baby
There's no no no no no no no way

You made me your wife
So I'll be queen to the end of my life
No no no no no no no way

No way
No way

No no no no nope no nope no nope no no

No way
No way

There's no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no way

There's no way

From The Mind of Merc - The Tudor Curse

 Then a Mind of Merc post in which today I was thinking about the mortality of the Tudor heirs and, more specifically, whether it could be said that a curse haunted the Tudor monarchs as this issue wasn’t just exclusive to Henry VIII and his desperate quest to produce a male heir to succeed him as it struck both before and after his reign.

 An example of potential victims of this curse are:

- Arthur Tudor (eldest son of Henry VII) – born 1486, died 1501 (aged 15)
- Edmund Tudor (youngest son of Henry VII) – born 1499, died 1500 (aged 1)
- Henry Tudor (eldest son of Henry VIII) – born 1511, died 1511 (aged 2 months)
- Henry Fitzroy (illegitimate son of Henry VIII) – born 1519, died 1536 (aged 17)
- Edward VI (son of Henry VIII & Jane Seymour) – born 1537, died 1553 (aged 15)

While the majority of these are generally believed to be due to tuberculosis, or even plague, I wonder if they could possibly be linked to (or even caused by) the similar(?) malady of sweating sickness.

This unpleasant little disease is in itself interesting as it only appears in history during the Tudor era but this was more than enough time to have done plenty of damage including reportedly killing off Henry VII’s eldest son and heir, Arthur. It is said to have come across to England with Henry VII when he came to combat Richard III at Bosworth and the subsequent theory is therefore slightly ironic in that seeking to overthrow the previous monarch, Henry VII sealed the fate of his own son (thus also changing to course of English history yet again by making his younger son, Henry, his sole heir and, in time, leading to the Break With Rome).

To further this theory (and admittedly this part takes a bit of a leap) the last recorded occurrence of the disease is reputed to have been in 1551 – later than either of the Henrys but still in time to kill off the only two male heirs of Henry VIII’s best friend and companion, Charles Brandon – perhaps the virus thought him guilty by association. 

What makes it even more interesting is the virus was even said to have a penchant for Englishmen as during the 1517 outbreak foreign visitors were reported to be less likely to succumb and during the 1528 it didn’t breach the Calais border into territorial France or even the northern border into Scotland.

As well as this, although by no means confined to royalty as it also did for other connected persons such as William Carey (husband of Mary Boleyn) and the wife and children of Thomas Cromwell it was said to target or perhaps favour the rich and powerful – surely an odd characteristic for a disease.

Could it be then that Henry VII brought this malady on his people himself? Both physically by bringing it across with his army and spiritually by inviting it through some unspeakable act that earned him this vengeful response with its first notable victim being Henry VII’s eldest son and heir and the last being the two sons of his successor’s best friend (as well as the sole heir of his loyal adviser)?

We may never know but it is still an intriguing theory.

I Just Can't Wait To Be Queen - !!!NEW!!!

Oops - running a bit behind with the blog posts - time to catch up. First with a new Tudor themed parody song. 

I Just Can't Wait To Be King Queen not from The Lion King

I was the child of a great king,
So that means I’m his heir!

That is unless he has a boy
Which means you won’t win there

But until then I am his pearl
The apple of his eye
The most precious thing in his life
It’s easy to see why

Might want to keep an eye on Anne Boleyn

Oh, just you wait I will be queen!

 

No way would dad do this

Well, now, you say that

Why is it that whore’s here?

But the thing is

He can’t end his marriage

What you don't realize

You would think that is clear

But she’s here!

Ev’ry one should do (as) I say

That might be what you think

One day I will have my way!

 

But times have changed and now you are
Downgraded to lady

The thought that my dad
Would turn his back is too crazy 

You underestimated that Anne Boleyn
Now she’s won
She is queen, she’s your dad’s new wife
It seems your day is done
You are lucky to still be on the scene             

Oh, just you wait I will be queen!

Watched my daddy move on
Because that Anne was not right
And now that Jane is queen
It will all be alright

(It’s) a boy!

She’s had the son on which your dad was keen (but)
            That doesn’t mean you’ll be poor like you’ve been
            There’s still a chance a royal place you’ll glean

Oh, just you wait I will be queen!
Oh, just you wait I will be queen!
Oh, just you wait I
Just wait I
Will be queen!