What time is it, Eccles (modernised) - Mercorabilia

I'm a big fan of The Goon Show and, inspired by a comment I saw online, I thought it'd be fun to try and create how the infamous 'What time is it?' skit if it had been written using modern technology.

Bluebottle: What time is it Eccles?
Eccles: Err, just a minute. I, I've got a screenshot of it ’ere on my mobile. A nice man did it for me this morning.
Bluebottle: Ooooh, then why do you carry it around with you, Eccles?
Eccles:  Well, umm, if a anybody asks me the ti-ime, I ca-can show it to dem.
Bluebottle: Wait a minute Eccles, my good man...
Eccles:  What is it fellow?
Bluebottle: It's showin on this screenshot here, what is eight o'clock, is showin.
Eccles: I know that my good fellow. That's right, um, when I asked the fella to do it for me, it was eight o'clock.
Bluebottle: Well then. Supposing when somebody asks you the time, it isn't eight o'clock?
Eccles:  Ah, den I don't show it to dem.
Bluebottle: Ooohhh...
Eccles:  [Smacks lips] Yeah.
Bluebottle: Well how do you know when it's eight o'clock?
Eccles:  I've got a screenshot of it on my mobile!
Bluebottle: Oh, I wish I could afford a mobile phone with the time screenshot on.
Eccles:  Oohhhh.
Bluebottle: 'Ere Eccles?
Eccles:  Yah.

Bluebottle: Let me hold that mobile to my ear would you? - 'Ere. This mobile phone ain't tickin'.

Eccles:  What? I've been sold a forgery!

Bluebottle: No wonder it stopped at eight o'clock.

Eccles:  Oh dear.

Bluebottle: You should get one of them tings my grandad's got.

Eccles:  Oooohhh?

Bluebottle: His firm give it to him when he retired.

Eccles:  Oooohhh.

Bluebottle: It's one of dem tings what it is that wakes you up at eight o'clock, boils the kettil, and pours a cuppa tea.

Eccles:  Ohhh yeah! What's it called? Um.

Bluebottle: His secretary.

Eccles:  Ohh... Ohh, ah wait a minute. How does she know when it's eight o'clock?

Bluebottle: She's got a screenshot of it on her mobile!

And if anyone's wondering why he didn't just look at the time on his phone... this is Eccles we're talking about

Show Black Matters - !!!NEW!!!

Given the recent shameful outcome over Breonna Taylor's murder, I felt it was appropriate to share this. #BLM

Show Black Matters not by Irving Berlin

Black lives matter like (all) lives matter but black lives are threatened
Everyone needs to understand about this, the point is simply to stop wrongs and
Anyone who knows they’re not a racist just cannot resist to take a stand

Black (or) white people are all people, they feel and they bleed red
Even if you can’t see similarities, that doesn’t mean that their life should cease
Nobody is perfect, you can guarantee, and they shouldn’t be dead

Breonna, and Tony, and Ahmaud and George
Are no longer part of this world because
Breonna, and Tony, and Ahmaud and George
Were thought by corrupt cops to (have) broken laws.
We sadly bid these poor people goodbye, they shouldn’t have been killed should they - so why?

Black lives matter like (all) lives matter so don’t tell me that’s wrong
Everyone upon this earth’s a person, regardless of the colour of their skin
We cannot allow racism to worsen, it’s a perversion, don’t let it win

Black (or) white people are all people, they feel and they bleed red
Why’s this still an issue it just seems so wrong, it’s been going on for far too long
There shouldn’t be a reason to write this song and they shouldn’t be dead

You hear again in all the newspapers that a black person’s been killed again
How is it, the victims are the traitors? Ignore the haters, this all must end

Even though the bias seems to reach up high, that doesn’t mean this thinking should fly
We will never let this injustice go by, as they shouldn’t be dead

From The Mind of Merc - COV-ID Deniers

Sometimes I find my mind wandering over various eclectic topics and occasionally I am inspired to write some of them down. Today I was thinking about the people who for some reason best known (or perhaps solely known) to them seem to think that the rules and restrictions relating to the COV-ID lockdown don't apply to them, are part of a conspiracy theory or worse that the entire pandemic is a hoax.

It led me to create this cartoon: