Frankenstein sketch - Mercorabilia

Bit late for Halloween. Still it's always important to clear up any misconceptions.

Monster: Uuuurrrrr

Villager: What’s that? Who’s there?

Monster: Uuurrrrrr

Villager: Ah! It’s Frankenstein!

Monster: Uuurrrrrrr-oh for pity’s sake!

Villager: What?

Monster: I’m not Frankenstein! Frankenstein’s the man who made me. I’m his creation.

Villager: Oh.

Monster: Why does everybody get that wrong? It’s not as if we look alike.

Villager: (sotto voce) Well, that’s true.

Monster: Just because my creator couldn’t be bothered to give me a name, I get saddled with his. And I get all the bad press.

Villager: Well, you are Frankenstein’s monster.

Monster: Who are you calling monster?

Villager: Well, I mean, look at yourself.

Monster: That’s hardly my fault, is it? Did you choose how you look?

Villager: No.

Monster: Well, then. After all, what do you expect when your creator only has parts of dead bodies to sculpt you from. You’re bound to end up looking a little… odd.

Villager: I guess so.

Monster: Right. So let’s have no more of this ‘monster’ business. It’s just not on. I mean all I want to do is survive – like every other creature on this planet. That’s much to ask, is it?

Villager: No – but evidently a lot to go on about.

Monster: Well, I hope I’ve made my point.

Villager: Yes. Yes. Definitely.

<pause>

Villager: Well… don’t let me keep you.

Monster: What?
Villager: Well, I’m sure you’ve got lots of other non-monster stuff to do. Places to be, other people’s hovels to hide in.

Monster: Are you mad? I’m not going out there. Why do you think I’m hiding in here in the first place? Do you know what they do to monsters out there?

Villager: I thought you said you weren’t one.

Monster: But they don’t know that, do they? No – I’ll just stay here.

<pause>

Villager: So… cup of tea?