From The Mind of Merc - Motivation

Sometimes I find my mind wandering over various eclectic topics and occasionally I am inspired to write some of them down. Today I was thinking about motivation – specifically relating to the UK government (twice in as many months but can you blame me).

I'm not the best artist so have resorted to clipart and paint once again to create the analogy that occurred to me

Confucius sketch - Mercorabilia

I was fortunate enough to catch another of John Finnemore's Flying Visits last week and, whenever I'm that fortunate, it always proves rather inspirational. I therefore present my latest sketch investigating the origins of some very wise words:

<sound of buzzing>

Bystander: Blasted mosquito! It just won’t leave me alone. I wonder what it would take to get rid of it.

Confucius: Ah – this is most fortunate. I have been wanting to examine this very conundrum myself.

Bystander: Have you?

Confucius: Indeed so. If you will allow me, I will proceed with my experiments. First we try the hand.

<sound of swiping. buzzing sound continues>

Confucius: Hmm. Ineffectual. Next we move on to the flyswat.

<sound of swatting. buzzing sound continues>

Confucius: Nothing. Hmm. Let us try something else. Would you pass me that newspaper.

<rustling sound of a newspaper being handed over>

Confucius: Now then.

<sounds of swooshing then a thwack>

Bystander: Ow!

Confucius: Sorry.

<buzzing continues>

Confucius: It is a most persistent creature. There’s nothing for it. We’ll have to bring out the big guns.

Bystander: And what does that involve?

Confucius: This.

<rumbling sounds>

Bystander: A cannon? Isn’t that a bit much?

Confucius: We shall soon see. Fire!

<sound of a cannon being fired followed by exploding and collapsing rubble. buzzing stops>

Confucius: Success! I have defeated it.

Bystander: Yes, but you’ve also ‘defeated’ that house. Look - you’ve blown a massive great chunk out of the wall. Who knows what the owners going to think of that!

Confucius: Hmm. Very interesting. I must document this.

<sound of quill scratching on parchment>

Confucius: Confucius say “Never use cannon to kill mosquito”

Guess Who sketch - Mercorabilia

Partly inspired by John Finnemore and his (seemingly) favourite game – as it makes a regular appearance at his shows – and by my trip yesterday to catch his Flying Visit to Nottingham, I present this:

Fred: Now then… I’ve considered all the evidence carefully, and I believe the man I’m looking for… has… a beard!

Joe: Nope.

Fred: Damn!

<sound of Guess Who tiles being put down>

Fred: This is a rotten game.

Joe: You’re just a sore loser.

Fred: Can you blame me?

Joe: Can I blame you for being a sore loser? Yes – absolutely!

Fred: Well, I mean look at it. You’ve only got 4 possibles left. I’ve got half the board. I knew I didn’t stand a chance when I picked a woman card.

Fred: Anyway, it’s your go.

Joe: Right. I reckon the person I’m looking for has… large earrings.

Fred: <after a pause> Maybe.

Joe: What do you mean maybe? They either do or they don’t.

Fred: Well… they might.

Joe: Oh, you’re such a sore loser!

Fred: I am not! I wish you’d stop saying that!

Joe: Well, it’s true. Do they have large earrings or not?

Fred: Alright yes.

Joe: Thank you.

<sound of Guess Who tiles being put down>

Fred: Stupid game.

Joe: Stop being a sore loser – it’s your go.

Fred: Hmph. Let’s see. Whoops!

<sound of Guess Who boards rattling>

Joe: Hey!

Fred: Oh dear me.

Joe: You did that on purpose!

Fred: I did not!

Joe: You did! You’re such a sore loser. There was no need for you to shove the board like that.

Fred: I am not! And I had to grab the board – otherwise I would have lost my balance.

Joe: But it’s completely thrown off the game – we don’t know which ones were up and which were down now. We’ll have to start all over again.

Fred: No – let’s not. It’s a stupid game anyway. How about I Spy instead?

Joe: Alright. I spy with my little eye something beginning with S-L.

Fred: S-L. Hmm. S-L… Hang on – it’s Sore Loser, isn’t it?

Joe: There you are – you actually won something!