Guess Who sketch - Mercorabilia

Partly inspired by John Finnemore and his (seemingly) favourite game – as it makes a regular appearance at his shows – and by my trip yesterday to catch his Flying Visit to Nottingham, I present this:

Fred: Now then… I’ve considered all the evidence carefully, and I believe the man I’m looking for… has… a beard!

Joe: Nope.

Fred: Damn!

<sound of Guess Who tiles being put down>

Fred: This is a rotten game.

Joe: You’re just a sore loser.

Fred: Can you blame me?

Joe: Can I blame you for being a sore loser? Yes – absolutely!

Fred: Well, I mean look at it. You’ve only got 4 possibles left. I’ve got half the board. I knew I didn’t stand a chance when I picked a woman card.

Fred: Anyway, it’s your go.

Joe: Right. I reckon the person I’m looking for has… large earrings.

Fred: <after a pause> Maybe.

Joe: What do you mean maybe? They either do or they don’t.

Fred: Well… they might.

Joe: Oh, you’re such a sore loser!

Fred: I am not! I wish you’d stop saying that!

Joe: Well, it’s true. Do they have large earrings or not?

Fred: Alright yes.

Joe: Thank you.

<sound of Guess Who tiles being put down>

Fred: Stupid game.

Joe: Stop being a sore loser – it’s your go.

Fred: Hmph. Let’s see. Whoops!

<sound of Guess Who boards rattling>

Joe: Hey!

Fred: Oh dear me.

Joe: You did that on purpose!

Fred: I did not!

Joe: You did! You’re such a sore loser. There was no need for you to shove the board like that.

Fred: I am not! And I had to grab the board – otherwise I would have lost my balance.

Joe: But it’s completely thrown off the game – we don’t know which ones were up and which were down now. We’ll have to start all over again.

Fred: No – let’s not. It’s a stupid game anyway. How about I Spy instead?

Joe: Alright. I spy with my little eye something beginning with S-L.

Fred: S-L. Hmm. S-L… Hang on – it’s Sore Loser, isn’t it?

Joe: There you are – you actually won something!