Soldier: Your imperial majesty – we have returned.
King: So I see.
Soldier: We have travelled far and long on the quest which you did assign to us and we are joyful that we are able to say we were successful.
King: Oh, good.
Soldier: Your task was not an easy one to complete...
King: Wasn’t it?
Soldier: By no means. And many men died in the attempt.
King: Oh, dear.
Soldier: But none the less we have triumphed. I have brought you – Mars!
King: Really?
Soldier: Yes. And I present it to you. Here!
King: What is this?
Soldier: A deed of ownership, my lord. Given to me by the Galatic Council of that great planet affording the rights and title of ruler of Mars to you.
King: Right. <pause> I think there might have been some mistake.
Soldier: What do you mean, your majesty?
King: Well, when I said I wanted you to bring me Mars...
Soldier: Yes?
King: I actually wanted a chocolate bar.
Soldier: (after a pause) A chocolate bar?
King: Yes.
Soldier: You mean we have spent countless hours and lost many men simply because you had a sugar craving?
King: It would seem so.
Soldier: Right.
<pause>
King: Do you think they have Mars bars on Mars?
Soldier: I would presume so, your highness.
King: Excellent. Well, carry on.
Soldier: What about the men, sire? Surely they deserve some reward for their endeavour.
King: Ah, yes - the men. Umm, well, tell them they can have the rest of the week off and, um, a Mars bar for each of them, I think
Soldier: A Mars bar.
King: Yes. Is that a problem?
Soldier: Well, there is just one thing, sir.
King: Yes?
Soldier: I actually prefer Snickers
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