A return to my speech-wrecking today and this time I’m looking at Severus Snape’s grand ‘Introduction to Potions’ oration from the first Harry Potter book.
I originally wrote this back in January but held it back following the death of the late, great Alan Rickman. So I would just like to clarify that I this is not directed at Mr Rickman – it is directed at Snape and his unpleasant attitude towards Harry at the start of the books.
"There will be no foolish wand-waving or silly incantations in this class.”
(So the majority of what magic is then.)
“As such, I don't expect many of you to appreciate the subtle science and exact art that is potion-making.”
(Or to care, really)
“However, for those select few who possess the predisposition,”
(…of being in Slytherin)
“I can teach you how to bewitch the mind and ensnare the senses.”
(Should you be teaching kids to make Rohypnol?)
“I can tell you how to bottle fame, brew glory. And even put a stopper in death."
(Great – so you know how to make poison. Because that’s a really special skill that absolutely nobody who’s non-magical can do. Also – brew glory? Are you saying glory’s alcoholic? Or can it be achieved with a nice cup of tea? If so, I'm very glorious.)
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