Jean Gaston - !!!NEW!!!

This entry was inspired by a comment I saw on a post on tumblr in which a Disney song was combined with a noted French musical. I expanded on this premise to create the following,

Gaston Valjean not by Disney

Javert:

Don't get too confident will you, Valjean

No-one from their parole jumps
Never think you have won will you, Valjean
Even when you come up trumps
There's no man in town I will follow like you
I won't just let bygones go by
Won't be a more hunted fellow than you,
And I know you know exactly why
No one's slick as Valjean
No one's quick as Valjean
No one looks like the mayor half as much as Valjean
For there's no man in town half as speedy

Blink and then you'll find he's gone!
Although he comes to the aid of the needy
You'll find no-one can say from which town he is from

Javert and Chorus:

No one's said of Valjean
That he's dead not Valjean

Javert:

No one's light on his feet in the street like Valjean

Valjean:

As a fugitive, yes, I'm infuriating!

Javert and Chorus:

My what a con, that Valjean!

Ev'ryone's friend

Heard from their lips

Javert:

Valjean is the best
And Javert is the pits!

Chorus:

No one flees like Valjean
With such ease like Valjean

Javert:

In a pinch no-one escapes cities like Valjean

Cosette:

Oh there's no one I trust so completely

Valjean:

Promised Fantine of you I'd take care

Javert:

Now you've got to both hide so discreetly

Valjean:

That's right!
And where we have been you will find not one hair

Chorus:

No one flits like Valjean
Matches wits like Valjean

Javert:

When he's hunted then nobody quits like Valjean

Valjean:

I'm especially good at evaporating!
Kazaam!

Chorus:

We can't find Valjean!

Valjean:

When I was in jail I was famed for my strength
And it's helped me with my escape plans
But now that I'm free I can't hide it away
So I lifted a cart off a man!

Chorus:

Oh, ahhh, wow!

My what a con, that Vajean!
No one runs like Valjean
Hides with nuns like Valjean

Javert:

Then risks getting killed shooting guns like Valjean

Valjean:

I use sewers in all my evacuating!

Chorus:

My what a con,
Valjean!