Speech-wrecker (Part 9) - Mercorabilia

Another contination of the twist on the speech-wrecker theme today - this time focusing on Achilles speech in Troy.

Achilles: Myrmidons, my men with swords. I’d rather fight beside you because I sure as hell wouldn’t want you attacking me right now. Let no man forget how scary we can make ourselves look, like lions! Do you know what’s there, waiting, beyond that beach? Certain death and an excruciating amount of pain! Take it, it’s yours!”

Speech-wrecker (Part 7) - Mercorabilia

Continuing the twist on my speech-wrecker theme - this time with the sodium pentothal being administered to Mel Gibson's infamous Scottish rebel.

 

William Wallace: I am William Wallace! And I see a whole army of my countrymen, here because they couldn’t think of anything else to do on a Sunday afternoon. You've come to fight as free men... and dead men you are. What will you do with your freedom? Will you fight?

Veteran: Fight? Against that? No! We will run. And we will live.

William Wallace: Aye, fight and you will die. Run, and you'll live... which personally sounds like the better option. And dying in your beds, many years from now, won’t you be grateful not to trade ALL the days, from this day to that, for having the sense, the common sense, to run away from here as fast as you could to tell our enemies that they may take our lives, but they'll never take... US!

Speech-wrecker sketch (Part 6) - Mercorabilia

A slight twist on the speech-wrecker theme today and instead a look at some classic speeches and how they would have played out if the orator had been given a dose of sodium pentothal.

This day is call’d the feast of Crispian.
He that outlives this day, and comes safe home,
Will have beaten the odds of several 100-1 when this day is over,
And be bloody petrified at the name of Crispian.
He that shall live this day, and see old age,
Will yearly bore his neighbours,
And say “To-morrow is the day of Saint Crispian.”
Then will he strip his sleeve and show his scars,
And say “That’s what you get for following the King to France.”
Old men forget; and we’ll all be forgot,
But we’ll remember, if we survive,
What failures we were that day. Then shall our names,
Familiar in his mouth as household words-
Harry the best King ever, Bedford and Exeter,
Warwick and Tallbot, Salisbury and that bloke beginning with G
Be in their flowing cups badly rememb’red.
(With) This story shall the good man scare his son;
And Crispin Crispian shall ne’er go by,
Cos this day is probably our last in this world,
But we in it shall hopefully be remembered-
We few, we happy few, we band of brothers;
For he to-day that sheds his blood with me
Shall be my brother; even though you’re all so vile,
This day shall terminate his condition;
And gentlemen in England now-a-bed
Shall think themselves bloody lucky they were not here,
And hold their manhoods which is more than we’ll be able to do
That fought with us upon Saint Crispin’s day.