And here's the second of April's posts dealing with an infamous anecdote of Sir Walter Raleigh.
<Fanfare>
Raleigh: Your majesty.
Elizabeth: Oh, hello, Sir Walter.
Raleigh: What an honour to see you out and about, my queen.
Especially on such an inclement day as this.
Elizabeth: Yes, it is rather bleak, isn’t it?
Raleigh: Ah! A puddle! And right in your path. Fear not, my
lady – I will save you.
<whips off cloak and lays it over puddle>
Elizabeth: That’s it, is it?
Raleigh: Your majesty?
Elizabeth: How’s that supposed to help?
Raleigh: Well, I… I thought it might prevent your feet from
getting wet. After all, they must have
cost a fortune.
Elizabeth: They did.
But I still don’t see how that’s going to help?
Raleigh: But, my
queen, how could it not?
Elizabeth: Particularly thick, your cloak?
Raleigh: Well, not especially, your majesty. I mean, it’s
just a capelet. So…
Elizabeth: Thicker than that puddle?
Raleigh: Probably not.
Elizabeth: So how is your laying it over it supposed to stop
me getting my feet wet?
Raleigh: Well,… it might help them get a bit less wet.
Elizabeth: Also – what’s to stop me doing this?
Raleigh: What?
Elizabeth: This! Just walking around the puddle. Not exactly
massive, is it?
Raleigh: Well, no. But you have to admit, your majesty – it
is a bit of an inconvenience to have to do that.
Elizabeth: Not that much. Oh, and also, Sir Walter, may I
just point one thing out.
Raleigh: What?
Elizabeth: This never happened.
Raleigh: Oh, I understand, your majesty. Not a word of it
shall pass my lips. I shall take it to my grave…
Elizabeth: No, I mean – this never happened. You never laid
your cloak over a puddle for me. The whole story’s apocryphal.
Raleigh: Is it?
Elizabeth: I’m afraid so.
Raleigh: Oh.
<disappears in a puff of logic>
