I'm amazed satirists still have employment - you'd think the situation in the US is beyond anything any comedy writer could think to come up with. Like Trump's bizarre claim about who's responsible for the ongoing Ukraine-Russia conflict. Can you imagine a press conference about that in... say... Chicago
They Both Reached For The Gun They Did Not Start The War not from Chicago
Announcer: Mr Donald Trump and the press conference sham
Notice his Nazi never shows
Almost
Press: Where's he come from?
Trump: Soviet Ukraine
Press: And his problem?
Trump: War with Russia
Press: Why’s he here now?
Trump: To get our help
And we will grant him one more chance
Vance: If he will dance to Putin’s dance!
Press: When did it start?
Trump: 2022
Press: 3 years ago?
Trump: If you say so
Press: Who’s his rival?
Trump: That’d be Putin
He just wants what he does lack
To get his entire empire back
Journalist: Oh, you dumb slob, I can't believe what you've up to
You really think that we will believe
what
you tell us Donny
So who’s Putin?
Trump: Russia’s leader
Press: Why'd you like him?
Trump: He’s a genius
Press: Are you serious?
Trump: Absolutely
He is so smart, he’s so savvy
Vance: And he’ll trounce Zelenskyy’s army
Press: Why d’you want that?
Trump: It’s what’s for the best
Press: Best for who though?
Trump: Best for US
Press: Will you help him?
Trump: If he helps us
Vance: They signed a deal they knew the score
Trump: And yet Ukraine started the war
Oh yes, oh yes, oh yes Ukraine
Oh yes Ukraine
Oh yes, Ukraine started
The war, the war, the war, the war
Oh yes, Ukraine started the war
Start the war
Press: Oh no, oh no, oh no Ukraine
Oh no, Ukraine
Oh no, Ukraine (did) not start
The war, the war, the war, the war
Oh no, Ukraine (did) not start the war
Start the war
Trump: Understandable, understandable
No, it's not at all understandable
Reprehensible, Reprehensible
Not a bit comprehensible
It's not defensible!
Press: What’re you doing?
Trump: What I’m told to
Press: Er.. I’m sorry?
Trump: Yeah you heard me
Press: What's your statement?
Trump: What I want is
Zelenskyy to do his bit
And make a new ceasefire a hit
Press: ‘Cause?
Trump: It’s best for him
Press: Why?
Trump: ‘Cause he can’t win
Press: Why?
Trump: We won’t let him
Press: What?
Trump: Not no more
Press: What? Why?
Trump: That's the thought that
Press: Yeah?
Trump: Came upon me
Press: When?
Trump: When Ukraine started the war!
Journalist: Understandable, understandable
No, it's not at all understandable
Reprehensible, Reprehensible
Not a bit comprehensible
It's not defensible!
Press: Oh no, oh no, oh no, Ukraine
Oh no, Ukraine
Oh no, Ukraine (did) not start
Trump: No – that’s not it!
Press: The war, the war, the war, the war
Oh no, Ukraine (did) not start the
war
Start the war
Trump: You’re not listening!
Press: Oh no, oh no, oh no, Ukraine
Oh no, Ukraine
Oh no, Ukraine (did) not start (Oh no)
The war, the war, the war, the war
Oh no, Ukraine (did) not start the war
Start the war (Now you've got it!)
Oh no, oh no, oh no, Ukraine
Oh no, Ukraine
Oh no, Ukraine (did) not start
The war, the war, the war, the war
Oh no, Ukraine (did) not start the war
Start the war
Oh no, oh no, oh no, Ukraine
Oh no, Ukraine, oh no, Ukraine (did) no start
The war, the war, the war, the war
The war, the war, the war, the war
The war, the war, the war, the war
The war, the war, the war, the war
Trump: They started the
War
Press: (The war, the war, the war, the war)
(The war,
the war, the war, the war)
(The war, the war, the war, the war)
(The war, the war, the war, the war)
(They didn’t start the war!)
